okay, so here's the deal: one of my best friends had a sudden urge to make a story on fictionpress, and she wanted to use funny pick-up lines for chapter titles.

so what's the funniest you've ever heard or dished out ?

A president's pension currently is $191,300 per year, until he is 80 years old.Assuming the next president lives to age 80. Sen. McCain would receive ZERO pension as he would reach 80 at the end of two terms as president. Sen. Obama would be retired… read more

Know won seams tu kair N E moor bowt crap lyk how u sae or uze ore spel wurds. Sew, due ewe theenk itz emportint?

BLIND COWBOYAn old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-female biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waitress;'Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?'The bar immediately falls absolutely… read more

http://www.tom-phillips.info/images/funny.military.htm

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... But she was dating someone else. One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex… read more

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because… read more

This is strictly a mathematical viewpoint ... it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone… read more