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The problem is with the conflicting definitions imposed on the word "marriage."
The problem can be fixed by separating the conflicting definitions and coming up with a new term/word.
Trying to force the conflicting definitions onto one word will cause friction and animosity.
Alternatively, the religious right can come up with an alternate word. However, it is much easier for the government to change. ;)
Autonomous women making independent decisions about their lives should not expect men to finance their choice.
If a woman wants to force a man to pay for 18 years of child support she should first prove that she is either not an autonomous woman or that her decision is not independent. Otherwise, she should finance her choice.