Well utilitarianism says that good is that which maximizes the total utility of man/living creatures. It seems to assume that the meaning of life is to do good.

It doesn't really lay the groundwork for a value system. The closest it comes to defining a value is it's implied assumption that efficient methods are always better than inefficient methods. It's only ought claim is "we ought always try to be more efficient". It speaks nothing to what we should try to accomplish.

I enjoyed that only because I knew that people acted in their own self interest and I assumed there was a way to prove that self interest would converge with utilitarianism.

A utilitarian always thinks "will this help me achieve X". Self interest (what the individual wants to happen) must be in place before there's any utilitarianism going on.

After becoming better educated on evolution, I began to doubt that such a connection existed

This really surprises me.

so now I am exploring the consequences of self-interest from the ground up.

I'd say start with considering what your primary self interest is. If you are like most people it's probably achieving happiness, or at least maintaining comfort, and you are content with that. It might take awhile before you notice that these states of being become increasingly elusive when sought after for their own sake, and you will be forced to wonder things like: "what ought to make me happy?", "when ought I be uncomfortable?".

We'll see how that goes, though I feel like I am just thinking in circles (I am a self-interested individual, I valued utilitarianism, so is utilitarianism in my own self interest? )

I think you shouldn't drop it like a failed ideology, I think you should reconsider it. It's pretty sensible. Maybe you are just in the process of learning how even utilitarianism can be misconstrued.

Well my actions weren't very utilitarian, I waste too much to be utilitarian, I am too selfish to be utilitarian, so I am not really utilitarian.

I say, we are all just different varieties of utilitarians :)

But maybe its in my self interest to try to be as utilitarian as possible. Or maybe, its in myself interest to tell myself I am a utilitarian and avoid confronting my own hypocrisy. I am supposed to be doing research on machine learning and all I can think about is this stuff!)

Hey this is interesting stuff. I'd really like to get to the bottom of this problem we humans have of choosing inferior options despite our ability to perceive superior one's?!! If I could, I would amaze myself.