Although marriage itself cannot guarantee happiness, I would certainly choose sharing my life in marriage with someone I love rather than being single or seeing marriage as a prison.
Sharing a life with someone you love can bring you more happiness than you can ever imagine. Being single throughout your life, would be a painfully lonely existence....especially when you are old!
Personally I think happiness is something very individual and it is up to everyone individually to decide what will make them happy. This means that there are as many version of happiness out there as there are people and one should be cautious in making assumptions about what makes others happy. That being said, it is very clear that humans are very social in nature and walking the path of life with someone special can certainly contribute a great deal to someone's happiness. I would venture to say that it doesn't have to be marriage, it can just as well be a 'life partner'. I think that for a majority of the population, a close, intimate and stable relationship can indeed increase their quality of life. This is not to say that single people are unhappy, but a lot of singles might be missing something - either consciously or unconsciously - that is inherently human: sharing your life with someone very close. Because of that 'humans are a social animal' factor, I think that indeed the majority of married persons (or people with a stable long term partner) are happier than their single counterparts, with the caveat that, as stated above, happiness is very individual and generally defies generalization.
OK from a happily married man. I am in my relationship because I want to be there with my wife. I love all the aspects about sharing that come with marriage, good or bad-and-happy or sad. I admit I am bias, I choose to be here and my wife chooses to be with me. I can not respond to those not in a meaningful relationship other than this piece of advise, CHANGE IT. However, change comes from within, work hard for your marriage, your partner, and yourself and you will find satisfaction, peace, and happiness.
Its work. Love is work. But anything worthwhile is, and my marriage even with its occasional annoyances is honestly wonderful. First year was tough, first year with baby is not easy either. I liked being single but I was always seeking to find that other. I write in the pro here but I'd say both instances have their benefits. Doesn't make for a great debate but I'd say either is great depending upon the individual.
"Suicide rates among the elderly are highest for those who are divorced or widowed. In 1998, among males aged 75 years and older the rate for divorced men was 3.4 times and widowed men was 2.6 times that for married men. In the same age group, the suicide rate for divorced women was 2.8 times and widowed women was 1.9 times the rate among married women."
Supporting Evidence:
Source
(mentalhealth.samhsa.gov)
557 days ago
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No, marriage is not a prison; nor is it necessarily the path to bliss for every single human being. I'm single, and love every minute of it. Not every person was predestined in the womb to share a life with someone else 24/7. My point is that no one should ever feel pressured by society to conform to some particular standard like getting married or not. If you can't stand to be away from your beloved partner, great. If you're single and you love it, great too. I've seen some of the nastiest divorces you can imagine. I always wonder what happened to the love that once brought these two people together in the first place. The kind of hatred and hurt I've seen in these cases would make race riots with the Klan tame by comparison. It never ceases to amaze me.
Top 3 Reasons Why Being Single is Awesome: 1. Freedom. Go anywhere. Do anything. The world is your oyster. If you want to move to Quebec and work in a coffee shop, move to Quebec. There's no 'ball n' chain' holding you down. Want to become a world class Kung Fu expert? Do it. Move to China and study with Shaolin monks. Take up bird watching. Drive to Mexico and become a drug mule. Knit yourself some winter time mittens. Pursue anything that intrigues you. 2. Casual Sex. Just because you're single doesn't mean you aren't getting laid. Any beautiful woman you see could be lying in your bed panting after hours of steamy casual sex. That cutie at the grocery store that gives you those suggestive eyes might be handling your produce by the end of the night. Not so much the case in a relationship, unless it has an infidelity cream filling. 3. You have your own social identity. In a relationship there is no more 'You'. There is 'We'. You and your loved one have been socially merged. People say, "When are Reese and Sarah getting here?" It's never just Reese or just Sarah. There is no Reese. There is no Sarah. There is Reese and Sarah.
Re: 2 Just because you can have casual sex, doesn't mean you're able to pull it off. The majority of people are sad sacks who don't know the first thing about banging random folks (they want to). This view of being single is based on a movie or the top 1% of guys with game... not real life for most people.
You brought up a few good points, however, if I ever got into a relationship as restricting as what you described, I would get out of it as fast as possible. Re: 2. There is such a thing as honest, open relationships where the partners trust each other enough to be able to go out and 'have fun'. If you're able to make the distinction between love and lust, such an open agreement can help spice up any relationship and actually tighten the emotional bond between partners. Also, some people just don't have a lot of time to invest into finding casual sex partners and those are usually busy single professionals that don't have a partner precisely because they are too busy. Re: 3. Any relationships that does that to you, is probably doomed to fail. If you lose your identity in a relationship and if you have to make to many concessions to your partner it is practically inevitable that you'll crack at one point. While the 'We' is very important in a realtionship, the 'You' should never suffer because of that. I want to end by saying, that I'm not disagreeing with your statement that being single is awesome. It is, and the points you made to apply to a lot of people, however your argument,to me, assumes that a relationship entails an automatic loss of those 'privileges', which isn't the case.
4. You can have friends. There are rare exceptions where a man in a long term relationship will still hang out with his single friends. However, usually when you go into serious status friends go out the window. If a man in a long-term relationship somehow convince his 'loved one' to let him go to poker night, there's always a curfew or clause, "No drinking, and be home by one!" Good luck having fun with the guys now. Get ready to hear the whipped sound every fifteen minutes. Being single, anyone and everyone is your best friend. If you meet a homeless man on the street that strikes your interest, you can spend the day riding roller coasters at Six Flags with him. You can go to Adams house and play video games for three days. Without bathing. When you come home it's no big deal. There's no fight waiting for you. 5. You are perfect. There is nobody pointing out your flaws. In your own mind you are an Adonis. A gleaming pillar of perfection. Everything that you do is done right. Any thought you have is completely natural, and not the least bit creepy or inappropriate. When in a relationship, there is nagging. There is whining. There are 'conversations'. Coming home and hearing 'we need to talk' either means you're running errands or you need to change something about yourself. 6. You don't have to listen to anyone. Women talk. A lot. Being in a relationships means you need to learn how to listen. Sure, people talk to you when you're single too. The main difference is the lack of obligation to the conversation. If a single guy gets trapped in a long conversation with anyone, they can easily escape. 'Hey I need to get going; I have to meet Carl at the shooting range'. Easy as that. Try saying that in a relationship... In a relationship, you have to care about everything the other person thinks is wrong. Any complaints that they have you better promptly acknowledge and agree. She will talk all night long about what bugs her and pisses her off. God help you if you forget one of them and accidentally do something that she already said bugged her. You'll never hear the end of it, you insensitive prick. 7. You're on time. The average man takes five minutes to get ready for any situation. Friend's house? Done. Fancy restaurant? Done. Wedding? Done. The average woman takes anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours to get ready. If she knows you have to be at said location at 7:00, you'll be there at 8:32.
Wow, someone has relationship issues. As I've said before... I ever I get a relationship that constricts and annoys me that much I'd be over faster than you can count to 3. I know that list is meant to be humorous, but since you're using it in support of singles being happier than married people, I'm going to reply. All those arguments largely miss the point, since instead of supporting the side that singles are happier than married people, they really are arguments against a very restrictive kind of relationship and thus void if you manage to find a reasonable relationship. Yes, every relationship requires concessions, but that applies to both partners in a relationship and I would venture to say that the average relationship is much much less 'hellish' than what that list makes it out to be.
Wow, Buckwild, sounds like you have some serious relationship issues. Not that you're alone. All of my friends that have been married in the past several years have pretty much fallen off the face of the Earth. Every weekend they have some stupid couples shower to go to or have to go to Bed Bath and Beyond to pick out a new bathmat. Sounds miserable at best. I prefer staying single the rest of my life and meeting new women out and getting all the benefits of a relationship with none of the headaches.
mmm, but really, how can one judge without having been to the other side?
Because I have plenty of friends who are on the other side and are miserable. They think that getting married and having babies is what society thinks is correct so they do it and before they know it they're driving their minivan to Pottery Barn to look at the latest coffee tables with their screaming kids in the back seat and their wife nagging them about how he doesn't make enough money. No thank you, I'll spend my weekends relaxing, playing golf, and looking for new skirts to chase.
Yes, but see, what I'm arguing is how can you conclude that marriage, for you, is not better, if you've never been to the other side. Although your observations do answer the question, what I'm trying to say is that, maybe, you could find yourself happier in marriage. Wait, that's a fallacy, but eh.
PEOPLE GET MARRIED PRIMARILY BECAUSE THEY ARE SELFISH. WHATEVER THEY GIVE OUT TO THEIR MARRIED PARTNER IS JUST A REFLECTION OR AN INITIAL STAGE OF WHAT THEY WANT FOR THEMSELVES. THEY PROVIDE MONEY, HOUSE OR PROTECTION BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE SERVED, TO BE SATISFIED, TO BE OBEYED. HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED THAT THEY LEAVE THEIR PARTNER WHEN PROBLEM ARISES OR WHEN THEY HAD FOUND SOMEONE NEW? IT IS BECAUSE THE LEVEL OF GRATIFICATION THAT THEY EXPECT HAD DIMINISHED AND THEY LOOK FOR ANOTHER WHICH WILL COMPENSATE WHAT THEY ARE MISSING. THEY THEN AGAIN PROVIDE FOOD, HOUSE PROTECTION.... SEE! IT'S IT'S A CYCLE OF SELFISH CONQUEST..
That was a decent argument but you did yourself no favor by using all caps. down vote
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