Arranged marriage anyone?
Firstly - Arranged marriages are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to FORCED MARRIAGES.
Do not get that mixed up
So... what are your thoughts??
For it
Side Score: 51
|
 |
Against it
Side Score: 60
|
|
|
|
|
3
points
In an arranfed marriage you and your spouse will have less expectations of eachother. There's no love, necessarily, and you just decide to make the best of it. You just decide that you're going to get to know this person and see if you can make it work. In a traditional marriage there's love involved and you each have certain expectations. When those expectations are not met, it ends in divorce. Side: For It
Arranged marriages are not forced. People grow up in a culture that accepts this and they would not know what else to do. The image that westerners have of women who say no and then are killed etc. are very rare and those extremists are shunned even in their own communities. I am for arranged marriage as long as both parties were for it by their own choice. Arrange marriages have a much higher success rate than marriages here anyway. Side: For It
Even though I personally don't want one, I think it should be more popular than it is. Love marriages are based on just that i.e. chemicals, emotions, psychology things and people see marriage as a way of proving love. I tend to be more sensible with decisions and would only marry a women who would be a good wife, mother and person overall rather than somebody who's good in bed. Side: For It
1
point
One name...Ayaan Hirsi Ali. If you don't know someone, how do you know they would be a good wife, mother and person? Does she come with good references or something? If so, how do those people know if she has never been a wife or a mother? "Psychology things" might help you. I highly recommend it, I studied psychology and believe me, you have issues dude! Side: Against It
Lol.................. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA I laughed at that one! not. I said I would make sure a woman is a good mother, wife etc. Read what I said. Actually read it VERY carefully and then tell me whether or not I said OTHER people or ME in a LOVE marriage. How the hell you study if you can't even read??? Side: For It
You clearly do not understand how these cultures work at all. They know because of their family structure. Just singling out the extreme and rare cases, does not make arranged marriages wrong. Part of the reason for success in an arrange marriage is that they find a match that has similar beliefs and values. Therefore, they do not have the petty arguments over money, children etc. Side: For It
|
"Firstly - Arranged marriages are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to FORCED MARRIAGES." No they're not. An arranged marriage is essentially a third party selecting your future partner and a person who you have to spend your entire life with. If the third part is selecting, and the selection of that third party holds regardless of the wishes of those being engaged into marriage, that is the very definition of a forced marriage. I'm sure it would be great for yourself, being male; having a wife selected for you who can, as you believe a women's job should be, be great in the kitchen. It's not so great for the wife though, being arranged without any choice, in to a loveless and forced marriage of convenience. Women are not commodities. Marriage should be a commitment between two people based on a foundation of love and trust. Side: Against It
It is not a forced marriage because the children are ALLOWING their parents to make that decision. Why does everyone just keep bringing up the woman? The man is allowing his parents to make this decision too! Contrary to popular belief women of this culture actually want a man to take care of them and make major decisions such as financial ones. They want their parents to find a responsible male that is capable of these things. Side: For It
Ummm no an aranged marriage leaves the woman and man to have a choice if they want to spend the rest of their lives together. If they don't want to.. then they can say no.. however if they do want to then they can say yes. Nothing forced about that. But for the record incase any idiots decide to say that arranged and forced are the same things. Arranged marriage is where the parents make at the minimum the introductory and the maximum are allowed to make the decision (allowance given to the parents by their child). Forced marriage is where the man and woman have no choice in the marriage. Some people say that forced marriages are arranged marriages. Let's just make a statement for the sake of needless stupid arguments, all arranged marriages that are not forced marriages are beneficial. Just to make that clear... Side: For It
4
points
Yeah, that doesn't make much sense. The way you're putting it seems to be defining arranged marriages as marriages that are caused by the introduction of a potential mate by parents. Replace parents with colleagues, friends, family, et cetera, and many marriages would be arranged marriages, by your definition. Side: Against It
3
points
Yeah, I've read what happens to people, especially women, who say no to "arranged-not forced" marriages. Beneficial to whom? Only to the people who are getting money, land and/or power in return for that marriage...and that's usually the parents or the groom! I bet you believe in female circumcision, I mean mutilation, also. Side: Against It
3
points
In arranged marriages people are forced to marry that person. No they're not... You can be forced to marry a ugly hag & you can do nothing about it. Not in arranged marriages People should choose who they marry. That's right! Honestly I don't believe in marriage or abstinence. I believe in free love. Lol hippy. Side: For It
I don't see the point. If a third party wants to to pick your husband/wife then they have to much control over your life. And if it's an optional thing where you have a choice, why? You're to lazy to find your own spouse? Seriously? Somebody get this guy on a date. Side: Against It
I think you have been less than fair in your response to this debate. And while I recognize your justification for you view, I too recognize something that may require further consideration on your part. As a Christian you cannot deny the arrangement of the marriage of Adam and Eve. Not only was Eve made from the rib of Adam, but God brought her to Adam. (Gen. 2:21-25) Also, the scriptures of the Bible affirm that Abraham (the friend of God) sent a servant to choose Rebekah, by her own volition, as a potential wife for Isaac. Now, if God himself has no problem with arranged marriage why do you? And as if what I have submitted is not evidence enough of God's providence of arranged marriage, I will also add to that that God, the Father of Jesus Christ, also selected and prepared the bride of Christ. Side: For It
You make a good point. But I think god wants us to have the freedom to choose who we marry just like having the freedom to choose anything els in life. For example: I'm sure god doesn't want me to murder and steal, but I'm not forced not to. I will choose to marry within my religion because that is the best choice for me in the long run. My church actually recommends that. There's no doubt that there are some that god would rather have me marry. But that doesn't narrow it down to one girl. I'm just saying that we don't have to specifically be paired up two by two. Side: Against It
1
point
I don't see why people cant attempt to find right matches with belief and family values by exploring that in each other. I think that arranged marriage is kind of like slavery. I don't mean whip them and beat them slavery, but i mean it is like their parents forcing them into something, and keeping them captives by the beliefs they have instilled in them. Everything should be by choice, and their parents should allow those individuals to make their own decisions in life even if it is not necessarily always beneficial. But, i also believe that is someone actually desire to be placed into a arranged marriage, that is a choice. But the threat of disowning should never be there. Side: Against It
2
points
1
point
Firstly you're an idiot cause there's no forcing anyone into anything. Secondly you're an idiot for not reading. Thirdly if you did read then you're an idiot for continuing. Fourthly you DON'T know you are going to be happy with whoever you're with. Even if you've known them for all your life. Even in love marriages... lol. 40% of marriages fail in America with 99.99% of them being love marriages. They suuure seem happy. Side: For It
Arrange marriages are not forced. Both parties agree to them willingly. Secondly, arrange marriages have a much higher success rate because families find other people with the same or similiar values as themselves. So, you are wrong by saying that they do not choose someone they are happy with. Picking someone 'your going to be happy with' as you call it has over a 50% failure rate in north america. Divorce in an arranged marriage is almost unheard of. Side: For It
If those people in arranged marriages did decide to break up, would their families want to be a part of their lives any longer. I would rather break up with the person i'm with and still have the support of my family, than be miserable and have the support of a family whos love is conditional. Side: Against It
1
point
So if its the land of the free, why are you against an arranged marriage which both parties agree to? Shouldn't that be their choice? Why does everyone keep talking about people being forced into something? Read the debate parameters. It clearly says we are not talking about people being forced. We are talking about both parties allowing their parents to choose. Anyone who insists this is force, clearly does not understand the culture and beliefs behind arranged marriages. Side: For It
yes well im really happy for you kinda that you prefer an arranged marriage but now you just gotta arrange to find someone stupid enuough to want you.ive gone against this one simply because of how you have titled the debate, sounds too much like a proposal.........err no thanks. yeah people i know i know but its a fair debate... as fair as a debate posted on wether or not i like this person.....to which should be obvious, that i will respond accordingly to this persons defacation of every body elses replies to his. im not smart like most of you youngens in the schooling departments but i am life smart... and i think i got this pig(no offence pyg) worked out for the "thing" he is. ps kinda, there seems to be this girl called anna4u sending everyone what sounds like a proposal for marriage for citizenship,maybe she is the girl you been looking 4 Side: Against It
Arranged marriages last longer than love marriages! Here is the reason. For two persons to get along in a close relationship, they have a greater chance of succeeding if they are alike. In arranged marriages - still practiced in Japan - the elders in a family look for a partner, seeking one of similar background, religion and ethnicity. In love marriages, the assumption that "love conquers all" is patently false, for love will eventally fade and then you will be faced with a person dissimilar and often opposed to your lifestyle. This makes the getting along more difficult, resulting in sequential marriages. This does not bode well for kids, for they need both parents to raise them. Whenever we talk of Indian wedding we try to equate it with arrange marriages. In India the social structure is such that we associate Indian marriages mainly with arrange marriages. Most of us have the feelings that arrange marriage is the concept of Indian society. But history tells us that arranged marriages use to happen even in the Victorian age. The history of England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages. In India arrange marriages originated when child marriages was customary in the country. Caste system gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste families didn't want their children to marry outside their community and caste Side: Against it
Arranged marriages, forced marriages, all these marriages are morally wrong. Humanity needs to come together, not move apart, and these marriages are only advocating different social and racial groups. In addition to the cultural issue, these arranged marriages are forcing people to marry somebody that they never met before. In a world with such a high divorce rate, we do not need anymore people unhappy with each other. Side: Against It
Arranged marriages, forced marriages, all these marriages are morally wrong. Who are you to say a long standing tradition, which both parties agree to, is morally wrong? In addition to the cultural issue, these arranged marriages are forcing people to marry somebody that they never met before. For the hundredth time, nobody is being forced to marry anyone. We are proposing arranged marriages in which both parties agree. Try reading sometime. In a world with such a high divorce rate, we do not need anymore people unhappy with each other. Funny you should mention that. Love marriages have a divorce rate of over 50%. How many arrange marriages have you ever heard of not working? Less than 1%. You should not comment on things you do not understand. Side: For It
I agree that forced and arranged marriages are difference. In an arrangement each party has a chance to meet and determine whether or not they will have a connection. In a forced marriage the man and woman are not allowed to speak until after the wedding day. I call both types d'aranged anyway. In an arranged marriage whether the man and the woman get to meet and determine whether or not they like each other there is still a ton of pressure from their parents. And if they are not married by a certain point, their parents may force them to marry someone. I dont know if it end in love...I dont know if the parties just give in and agree to give it a chance...I dont know if they end up happy or "in love". I guess if you live with someone long enough and have children with them, then you grow to love them. But it may not be the same type of love you would have had if you decided on your own. It may not be as intense or as happy. Its just being fake and going through the motions. It's doing what your parents want you to do. And sure they choose someone with the same religion, morals and values but where is the fun is being the same? If they are in America, isn't it exciting to learn about other religions? Maybe you share the same values and morals but dont have the same religion. It can be interesting and fun. If everything is the same, couldn't you get bored? I think the bottom line is whether or not you have a connection with someone. If the connection is that you have something in common because your parents picked you for each other and neither of you wanted to marry each other, would that last? Would it be real? Would the two people fall in love for that reason? Is it romantic? I do not know. Again it depends on the people involved. I think it's important to be happy. I don't think it's right for the parents to force anything. The children may resent them and rebel. The couple may just be roommates in a akward situation and make babies when their parents tell them to. Then what happens when their parents die? Or are they too old to care? What if these people are in America? Could it last? As far as comparing divorce rates, I dont think there is any comparison. You are not comparing apples to apples...people who are arranged or forced to marry do not get divorced on the same basis they were arranged or forced to marry in the first place. So they may be unhappy but it's highly frowned upon to divorce...so they don't. Have you seen those couples who have been forced or arranged strolling in the park with their kids? The man walks far ahead of the woman...Ive seen instances where he doesn't even wait for her and the child to get the car...he just hops in...that can happen with any couple but I notice it more in other cultures. Its very weird to me...I can sense the unhappiness..or the ackwardness even after they have kids together. But they don't divorce because their parents will get upset and/or disown them. Same reason why they got married in the first place. Divorce rates in America mean nothing...maybe more people in marriages are unhappy in these cultures than married couple in America who chose their partner...maybe that's a better statistic to look in to. Side: Against It
|
