The truth that I would not want to believe in a God. Why should I believe in a big guy upstairs who tortures the world? I do not want to believe in "Him". Does that make me afraid of the truth?
^^ That is what you said. ^^
What you are saying is that you "would not want to believe in God" and that you "do not want to believe in 'Him'." You also said asked the question of why you you should believe in a big guy who tortures people. All of this together is not intellectually based; it is desire based. To sum up, you are saying that you would reject anything that does not coincide with your desires. This includes truth. So, it appears as if you are afraid of the truth, since it goes against your own desires.
Why should I believe in a big guy upstairs who tortures the world?
To answer your question, the Bible states that God is just, but forgiving. He is willing to and quick to forgive; He is quick to lavish His grace upon us and grant us mercy. So, you should believe in Him because it is self-preservationistic, for one good reason. But not just this, God is love and displays this love through Christ dying for us, so that He may be "tortured" in our place. He died the punishment we deserve, this torture you talk about, since evil deserves death. But Christ took our death upon Himself so that we may be set free.