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Debate Info

52
22
Yes No
Debate Score:74
Arguments:43
Total Votes:91
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Argument Ratio

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 Yes (25)
 
 No (18)

Debate Creator

TheThinker(1688) pic



Can you choose your friends?

I would say: no.

I say no because a complete friendship is a two sided agreement.

I can be your friend. But you don't have to be my friend.

You can be my friend. But i don't have to be your friend.

You can't choose your friends but that decision is decided by the other person, not you.

Yes

Side Score: 52
VS.

No

Side Score: 22
3 points

A friendship is based on mutual feelings, if two people hit it off then they become friends. Can you choose your friends? Yes you can You can choose not to be or to be someones friend as you see fit.

Side: yes
TheThinker(1688) Disputed
2 points

I disagree. A complete friendship is based on mutal feelings. There can exist a one sided friendship.

You clearly stated that i can choose to not be someone's friend. So can that mean i can choose to be their friend?

You can't choose your friends. But you can consider someone your friend. A person can only be your friend if he/she decides to be good to you.

If you can choose your friend, then this world can become a more friendly place.

downvote.

Side: No
Sunset(2024) Disputed
2 points

of course you disagree when don't you. a friendship has to be between two or more people and it has to be mutual (which is what I said before) otherwise, unless you are counting the little people in your head, you would be friends with no one.

Side: yes
TheThinker(1688) Disputed
1 point

You are clearly wrong. You cannot choose your friends but you can choose to be a friend to someone else.

When two people hit it off, they have a friendship. And yes, they are friends. But in that case, you are choosing to be a friend. That does not mean the other person is your friend. When the other person is your friend, it is their decision.

downvote.

Side: No

I say no because a complete friendship is a two sided agreement.

I am guessing that if there is a such thing as a complete friendship, there must be an incomplete friendship. Both seem to be friendships though. Therefore, based on your logic, friendship is not always a two-sided agreement.

That was a logic remark. Here is my point of view:

You can choose a person to be your friend. All motivation of choice involves desire. You wanted this person to be you friend. Whether the person is really a friend or not varies on your definition of friendship. That does not change the fact that you chose that person to be you friend.

You have a menu, with a variety of different wines. The waiter asks, "What wine would you like, Monsieur". You say, "Sauvignon Blanc, please”. You chose that wine. The waiter then says, " Oh Monsieur, we are all out of that. We have Pinot Noir though." You chose Sauvignon Blanc because you wanted it. However, you could not have it because they were out. That does not change the fact that you chose that wine.

Side: yes
TheThinker(1688) Disputed
1 point

Choosing wine (an inanimate objects) and a person (animate) is totally different?

With respect, i don't see how choosing wine and choosing friendship is the same thing.

You stated: "You can choose a person to be your friend."

If that is true, then i choose you to be my friend. Are we now friends? No, because you don't consider me your friend.

The key words are "your friend." A person who is your friend is a person who do good deeds to you. But that person's good actions is not a result of your wishes, but his wishes. He chose to be your friend. You didn't choose him to be a friend.

That is like i make Osama Bin Laden my friend. And the next day he blows me up. He is not a friend is he? But considering if you are right, why am i dead? I chose him to be my friend and i died.

Thus, i believe that you can choose your friends.

downvote. Believe me, if i am truly wrong, i will give you that vote again. Im not a troll.

Side: No
Hellno(17724) Disputed
2 points

Im not a troll. You are and you are also a liar for not admitting it... come on... just admit it....

Here, just repeat this three times and you'll feel better...

"Hi, my name is TheThinker and I am a troll"

Side: yes
1 point

If that is true, then I choose you to be my friend. Are we now friends? No, because you don't consider me your friend.

I agree, if you choose someone to be you friend does not mean the person will be. Choice differs from acquisition. I agree. I do not think I said the opposite in my previous argument. Maybe it was not clear...

The key words are "your friend." A person who is your friend is a person who does good deeds to you

That is your definition of a friend. Some people believe that their 400 "friends" on facebook are friends. Why? "I talk to them sometimes"

That is like I make Osama Bin Laden my friend.

You cannot force anyone to be your friend. A person cannot force you to be their friend.

Choosing a friend does not force that designated person to be your friend.

And the next day he blows me up. He is not a friend is he? But considering if you are right, why am i dead?

Again. That is your definition of friendship: A person shall never kill his friend.

Bin Laden could have been your friend even if he killed you. How? Since you believe that friendship includes good deeds then, death could have been a good deed. He could have taken your life to save you from something he believes is worse than death.

-------

It seems that your definitions of friendship contradict each other. Unless you accept exceptions. However, there are so many exceptions to your definitions, that they do not really define friendship anymore.

Side: yes
casper3912(1556) Disputed
1 point

your both considering the word choose differently.

In his consideration choosing something is the same as preferring or wanting it.

In yours it is preferring it, and getting it.

Side: yes
2 points

You can choose to reciprocate friendship, that is to say if one is friendly you can make it a friendship by returning that feeling, but you cannot make a friendship out of someone who doesn't return the feeling.

Side: yes

I agree that friendship is a mutal feelings between two people. I may have implied that this question is about friendship but as time passes on, i seem to find myself mistaken.

I may have implied this question as about friendship, but no. This question is about friend (purposely singular).

Person 1 can be a friend to Person 2. But Person 2 doesn't have to be a friend to Person 1.

That is why i don't believe you can choose your friends.

I believe you can choose to be a friend to someone. But you can't choose someone to be your friend. It is their decision.

upvote.

Side: yes
2 points

It is rather easy to make as tough it can get to stick up to them! You may have load of Friends but there should be just a few you can really trust! So choosing is easy... N how well it goes is what counts!

Side: yes

Yes you can because you don't won't back stabbers I choose mine carefully if they are not what I want I let them go.

Side: yes

It's like they say. You can pick friends, and you can pick your nose...., but you can't pick your friend's nose. Hey..., I didn't make up the rules. I just follow them ;)

Side: yes

You are one funny guy. Joe. :)

Hey Joe, how do you escape the fifty word block? Sometimes, i can get pass it. Is it just luck?

Side: yes
Hellno(17724) Disputed
2 points

Anyone can!

Side: No

Add 50 spaces between characters .

Side: yes

You can choose your friends, but not your family.---------------

Side: yes
2 points

I think you cannot choose your friends because the act of becoming one's friend is independent. In other words, the person can choose for his/herself to be a friend towards another person. However, that "other" person may or may not be your friend.

The topic of this debate is not about friendship. Is it about: friend. I purposely made the word singular. Friendship is a two sided agreement. Person 1 and Person 2 have a friendship because Person 1 is a friend to Person 2 and Person 2 is a friend to Person 1.

However, notice what i stated before about Person 1 and 2. Person 1 is a friend to Person 2 and Person 2 is a friend to Person 1. Did Person 2 force Person 1 to be his/her friend? or vice versa? No and no. Like i said before, the act of becoming one's friend is independent. In other words, the decision to become a friend to another person is a choice and wish to the decider.

I do believe that you can choose your friendship if and only if the person who is on the other side of the friendship decides to be your friends.

I do believe you choose the people who are your friends. However, you cannot choose the people to be your friends.

I think what i stated is vital: you cannot choose the people to be your friends.

Ultimately, it is a choice. And if we can make the choices for ourselves, in which we cannot, the world can become a better place.

Side: No
1 point

No bcuz I think the people that you are most like just kinda swarm you. My friends and I are not exactly alike but we can all get along bcuz we are so alike.

Side: No
1 point

No ways. If you have lots of them. They get dramatic. And you need to be an emotional support. Hell.. I'm not doing that!

Side: No

Hmmmm? If Casper is right about the meanings of the word "choosing" then i will have to make this clear....

My definition of "choosing" is to pick. And maybe i haven't made this clear, when i said "can you choose your friends?" i meant, can you choose people to be your friends.

Side: No