Debate Info

opposites attract being similar is best
Debate Score:19
Total Votes:26
More Stats

Argument Ratio

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 opposites attract (3)
 being similar is best (15)

Debate Creator

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Do opposites make better couples than people with similarities?

Do you think that two opposite people would make a better couple than two people who are very similar?

opposites attract

Side Score: 3

being similar is best

Side Score: 16

While opposites do attract in the short relationship and may be titillating as a device with which to 'change' another, in the long haul the constant bickering which may come will destroy that relationship unless you are very open to change. One may chase the other away in their fight to get them to see their never ending point.

People with too many similarities face the same dilemma in their relationships and come to a point where the boredom factor sets in and people are bored to tears with the sameness of the relationship and their partner. No one wishes to marry or go out with a parrot where every move is a foregone conclusion.

So what's the best way to ensure that couple survives? A healthy balance of differences and similarities. No fence riding here...I truly believe this and have seen it in action many times. Those who have that balance fare well in their relationships and they are never boring or have the feeling that the opposition is to great to bear. all things is key to happiness in many things.

| Side: A Healthy Balance is Best
1 point

It really depends on the two people in the relationship. Generalizing, I'll say a relationship has better chances of surviving more than like, 3 years (the typical estimation of when a couple gets rid of the lust and starts finding a better reason to stay in a relationship), if the two people have more similarities than differences.

I've been with both sides in relationships. I was with a guy who was nearly, exactly like me, and almost everything I wanted in a guy. And even so, we didn't work out that long. Despite all the similarities between us, there was still something (I don't know what) missing that disabled us from making it work. And he didn't want to bother, probably from desiring something I wasn't. Right now, I am married to someone who is quite the opposite of me. We're on different sides of the religious spectrum, .... to be short, he's more of conservative republican and I'm more of a Libertian Independent. And really, I think the only thing that's really kept us both surviving all the differences, is our tolerance levels and commitment to make everything work.

In today's society, everyone is kind've been raised to be more independent and forward... and in a sense, less committed to relationships, more committed to careers. So, somehow, they're in this mindset of having every excuse and reason in the world to not let a relationship work out. But this doesn't apply to everyone.

| Side: A Healthy Balance is Best
1 point

I would definitely say that opposites make better couples. The reason being is that if two people don't have similar things in common than they can learn more about each other. This will also keep a relationship stronger because new interests are being develepoved as the couple gets to know each other. Where as if two people are similar their would be no chemistry because everything would be boring and nothing new would happen between them.

| Side: opposites attract
geekjock(1) Disputed
1 point

Ive been married for sixteen years with two kids, we now have almost nothing in common ( apart from ensuing my kids have a good life) . i have meet another woman who i a have fell for and we have everything in common ( and i think that's why i fell for her my wife and her are both hot), we both like Hard Techno Music, we both like Horror films, we both have some belief system and we both like each other. With my wife we are always fighting, we have an argument at-less cone a week, normally about how i am behaving, she thinks i should not act how i do. For example i don't take any shit from anyone, had some fuck wit move my shopping trolley out the way, and i just looked at this person , my wife did not like it and she walked out of the supermarket. This happens ALL THE TIME! i am sick and tied of the fighting and conflicting interest, I have changed so much for her and am not changing any more! I am always told what to do, what to get, how i should think etc etc. on and on and on and on!!! Normally i just hold back and go yup, no prob, well do, OK, yup. Its really making me unhappy , and now since i have meet XXX that i kissed once ( I know some of u may think i am a scumbag and sometimes i fell like that myself) But when she came over to my house for a meeting , we drink vodka, and listen to Mother F>>>>EN hard techno with my laser pulled out, and danced alone, I really felt so attractive to her, as i have never danced with my wife or anyone else like that! Before we did this i was sitting at the kitchen table with her, and we didn't talk anything retreated to business, she told me all details about her, so open ( just like me ) i also tell complete strangers stuff about me, ( my wife would say, don't do that ). XXX is also very hard , a hard woman, i also find that more attractive then my wife's soft touch. XXX also likes to drink and party, and she is exactly one month younger then me, we are both 37 ( my wife is 42) , both Dragons. I used to drink before i meet my wife but stopped it, things between us are so bad that i sleep in a different room, she moved two a different room when she caught me posting to a You Tube video porn star, like two years ago, we have sex now and again , but i am a dirty mo-fo i and must be missing something as i look at porn at-less once a week. I don't believe in two timing my wife and unfortunately or fortunately have broken this. i kissed XXX once and touched her body. I had not felt that good or that much in love ever, we have sent like a few thousands text messages to each other, and i have took two 1.30 half hour trips to see her, and talked to her all day long expressing how i feel, on the last trip or bought her a hand crafted Dragon ring, that she accepted, and now i have it planned that we are going to restaurant and then night cubing after in two weeks time, i have even told her i would marry her and leave my wife, when I think about her i feel very excited, when i think about my wife i think when is the next fight going to happen. I sought of love my wife but i hate all this crap that happens, my daughter even gets afraid of me as sometimes i will lose control in front of her verbally towards my wife. I must say but i do find XXX more attractive then my wife, i think its because i like the slutty look, XXX uses allot of makeup, XXX also has two kids 18 and 13. My wife and her are both Asian (My wife is from Taiwan ) and XXX is from Cambodia. The issue on leaving my wife is my kids, we do it for the kids! but its harming my daughter , seeing the fighting all the time. and true my wife has helped me allot education wise and i have a good job and my own company now. And I'm getting sick of it when she keeps telling me we should get a device and just be mates, i was thinking the next time she says it, i should say OK! and get together with XXX.

Meeting XXX has made my life very complex but now i know what I'm missing out on, someone with common interest, I have tried the other way for sixteen years and now i think its time to move on. I'm going to have to meet her a few times to be sure as friends and then will tell my wife, my wife has even said to me getting with me was a mistake, and she said why don't we have a second chance. Should i go for it, Maybe she is right?

| Side: being similar is best
1 point

most psychologists believe that opposites actually retract.

the fact is, it works in cute little romance movies, but that shit doesn't work in reality.

the way a couple can truly thrive is not by loving each other, but loving other things with each other.

| Side: being similar is best
1 point

Opposites ATTRACT... but there is a reaction to every action. Attraction is usually based on lust (Curiosity/Wonder/Sexual tension), whereas Love is based on commitment.

Curiosity, wonder, and sexual tension doesn't last forever, so people will attract and then retract. Couples are small groups of people. You have one person and another, relying on each other, which requires commitment and you cannot be committed to an opposite. Opposites don't act alike, but more importantly they don't think alike... what is there to be committed to, really?

| Side: being similar is best
1 point

Love isn't necessarily based on commitment. Sexual psychologists tend to support that Consummate Love, which most of us mean when we say love, results from a balance of Commitment + Passion + Intimacy.

There are permutations of the three ingredients, however. Check out the link.

Supporting Evidence: Wikipedia : Triangular Theory of Love (
| Side: being similar is best
1 point

I'm trying to be short. I'm aware of Robert Sternberg's work, but it's not entirely established. Passion derives from gluttony or selfishness. Intimacy is a social contract to trade information (even if it's physical).

Commitment is the only real selfless dedication to someone that I can think of. It requires nothing more than you being there for the other. If you're in a relationship where you're both committed, you'll be together longer, guaranteed. No passion or intimacy required, and it's ultimately more meaningful and practical.

I'm not saying they're any less important in a "wholesome" relationship or a well rounded relationship that'll bring you everything that you'll want... I'm just saying, long lasting relationships stem from continuity and commitment... something that doesn't often come from two opposite types of people.

| Side: being similar is best

Unless you are the type that thrives on arguments (which you probably do, otherwise, what are you doing on CD ;), find someone who validates your every thought ;)

| Side: being similar is best
1 point

Some similarity is good and some opposites are good.

Completely opposite or completely similar couples would never work, but somewhere in between is good.

So it depends on which things are similarities and which are opposites.

| Side: A Healthy Balance is Best
1 point

"Opposites attract" only works for magnets and ions. Human chemistry needs similarities. If two people are complete opposites, I don't see how they can even get along. Conversely, if they are 100% the same, I think they would start to freak each other out and get on each other's nerves after some time. There needs to be a balance, but it should lean more toward similarities.

| Side: being similar is best
1 point

There are some things people need to agree on.

Most marriages end because of financial disagreements.

| Side: being similar is best

It's impossible to relate to person who is not basely similar to you. While some opposites are fantastic in a relationship, and a polar opposite is fantastic in a fling, similarities are necessary.

| Side: being similar is best
1 point

In the end it would be better for the two be similar opposites do attract but in the long term relationship they will find considerable differences that the other will have a hard time to accept. I know this because I was in a relationship like this.

| Side: being similar is best

Every relationship starts with something in common. I've experienced that. It can be a subject, a sport, anything. Opposites might like each other at first, but that love would fade without something in common.

| Side: being similar is best

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