GOODLISTENER VS FACTMACHINE RAP BATTLE
Understand I'm a Piranha and you're swimming in my pond,
As always in life, I act first and later you respond,
You're some wannabe sex god, I'm CD's James Bond,
You're a mediocre scam artist, you scam me you get conned,
You're masturbating your penis, I'm casting spells with my wand,
You ejaculate on these hot bars, like Syria you get bombed.
To this site you're a parasite,
Suck the heat up in Farenheit,
It's like your brain's never burning bright,
So you compensate for stupidity,
By tryna light it with hostility,
As if trolling with appalling content will bring electricity,
You're all about the attention, love any kind of publicity,
Think you're sick 'cause they're hating and you're the site's latest shit to see,
But understand I came years before and sure I owe an apology,
I was a troll-god in the making, my first account was named Prodigee...
I'm not proud of being bigger or a thousand times more notorious,
But if trolling WERE ADMIRABLE, holy fuck I was glorious,
The issue is before I was a hate-filled fucktard like you,
Any insult the others threw at me, stuck to me like glue,
I'd do anything for attention, suck dick for a debate-view,
I was pathetic and yet it felt like I was Satan to the power of two.
See the issue with using this site only to stir the pot,
Is you forget that while you're stirring, the stew gets less hot,
And so, you forget to change your style you cease to remain fantastic,
You lose sight of how to play the game, trolling's an art that's elastic,
You gotta cause up a rage in the right people, but in others cause a panic,
In others make them feel happy, have them cheer as you go manic,
Your only fan... Your only excuse of fame...
Has the fucking word 'fan' in his username,
He doesn't admire the shit you post,
To him you're just a friendly ghost,
The insults you throw his enemies for him he likes the most,
You're a wild dog on a leash and it's tied around a post,
No not his dick, it's his ego that is the butter to your toast.
And finally, I already know how this battle's gonna go,
I used to use your style of trolling when I was 17 years old,
All I'd do was throw out insults, all I'd do is incite rage,
Holy fuck I loved to see people hate page after page,
It was erotic and exciting how little love they had for me,
But then I thought what kind of pussy has this as their life story?
Then I grew up a little bit and bit by bit my style matured,
Now my style of trolling's so subtle yours looks like cow manure.
You think I spread hate for attention, man you must be a BASE-HEAD
I spread hate because I want to see the whole human RACE DEAD
when I look at all the users here and everything THEY SAID
Their stupidity fills me with INNATE DREAD
Till I drink EIGHT KEGS
of rum, and succumb to the HATRED
I'm a DARK WIZARD
Fuck atoms, I make STARS FISSURE
You ain't HARD, NIGGER
I conjure BAR BLIZZARDS
energetically charged diamond SHARD SMITHER
Wookie style ARM RIPPER
Who gladly disCARDS SCRIPTURE
Cannibalistic and CARNIVORous
eating your HEART, LIVER
My penis is part chain saw and PART SCISSORS
So prepare to have your bowels ripped aPART, QUICKER
then if you ate a steak borrito then jumped in a wood CHIPPER
You call me a PARASITE
but you've brought TERABYTES
while my EXCELLENCE
Brings life to this BARREN SITE
My flow is crisp like the AIR at NIGHT
I'll twist your dick into the shape of a PRETZEL, BITCH
You're a disrespECTFUL TWIT
without you, this site would be PARADISE
how the VAST, GRAND LOBES
of my brain can intellectually BACK-HAND HOES
It's a mutual appreciation for reason, your ASS CAN'T FLOW
so you RAP SPAM MODE
I'll send you back clutching your CRAPPED PANTS YO
Simple rhymes, pop culture references, and you SAY YOU'RE GOOD?
shit man, You're the worst rapper in Mr Rodger's NEIGHBORHOOD
I'll do you worse then any common HATER WOULD
Why are you always stroking NomenCLATURE'S WOOD?
I inject your eyeballs with bleach and hydroFLUORIC ACID
Sew your nose to an ostrich's anus of HORRID GASES
I dwell in the FOREST, FAGGOTS
not with the abHORRID MASSES
I'm a fucking yeti eating human PORRIDGE PACKETS
A Zionist and a FASCIST FEIND
rewrites history every time he HAS A DREAM
Globalist, technoCRAT SUPREME
Social engineer, 33rd RAP DEGREE
You're nothing but a fuckin' piece of CRAP TO ME
I'm a cosmic tapeworm that eats space CRAFT DEBREE
Blasts out of my asshole like GASOLINE
While I deep throat a giRAFFE YA SEE
THAT'S THE REA-son
You're no MATCH FOR ME
I'm a nut-baskit mental case loopy BONKERS LOONY
Astral worlds inside my head, come and WANDER THROUGH ME
I PONDER TRULY
and TEACH LESSONS
to your DAUGHTER'S BOOTY
you have a WEAK ESSENCE
and I don't WANT YOUR COOTIES
So no I won't EAT YOUR SOUL
I'll settle for an AETHER BOWL
I'm a fowl creature from the DEEPER FOLDS
Of hyperspace, where it's BLEAKER, COLD
and the WEAKER TROLLS
are inserted into the WEENER HOLE of a dragon
You project your own WEAKNESSES
Fuck attention from obsoLETE BITCHES
I seek the deepest SECRETS HID
In quantum super-string SEQUENCES
Do you capitalise every rhyme?
Do you not ever rhyme in the middle of your lines?
Do you not take a little time to write a riddle in your mind,
That has meaning hidden in it of an intricate design?
Your bars are a dime a dozen, I've seen them all before,
You say that I'm not hard since unlike you I'm not a whore,
You pimp yourself out to your haters, let them fuck you 'til you're sore,
They pay you in their abuse, you get bored when you're adored.
You're a therapist's worst nightmare, a schizophrenic, manic mess,
You're a narcissistic nihilist who'd only have kids for incest,
You say you're a hard hitter, the only thing you hit's your chest,
You beat it with your chimp-like brain, Sv3rige would be impressed.
You organise your bars as much as you put work into your trolling,
I run the marathon like Mo Farah, you're that fat fuck who's only strolling,
You think it's all about the journey, that being dumb can be your calling,
I regret to inform you, you're too slow to be important,
You aren't even in the top ten points per week, like holy shit,
Even I could get there posting the insults of a pissed-off kid,
You're like that forever underground rapper who never ever gets a hit,
You're a machine that's years behind, I'm updated and well-equipped.
Your flow, you say is crisp, yeah fucking Walker's crisps indeed,
Your flow's the worst I've seen, it doesn't work at any speed,
You say that you are CARNIVORous, Well OF COURSE it's what you think,
Your freestyle may as well have had a CHORUS that said 'like the Titanic I SINK'
You fucking wannabe Thesaurus, using words to seem acute,
Every single debate you have is easy as fuck to refute,
All I need to do is report it, Andy deletes it and it's gone,
But unlike me if he deleted your account you won't return, you'd sit and sulk and smoke a bong.
You clearly didn't see my subtle rhymes like when I put 'haters' and 'latest' in the same line perfectly positioned, well of course not... You're brainless.
You need the rhymes CAPItalised and then YOUR EYES can see it clear,
See how I capitalised the wrong words, just to make it fucking clear... That it doesn't matter how I put it, my lyrics are golden, fucking pure.
I'm troll-god incarnate beholden to the shit I had to endure,
So come again with your simplistic 12-year-old quality crap,
I'll try to read between the lines and find something that looks like rap.
In short, I just walked circles around this dude's head.
He clearly listens to bad rap and has no clue how to stack metaphors into layered insults where one word/line means 2-3 different things and all are a juke to the other at once.
I basically cannot even feel proud of this win, he literally cannot rap at all it's kind of embarrassing that I vs'd him like if a black belt beats a yellow belt in Kung Fu.
I just walked circles around this dude's head.
You write nursery rhymes, all one liners and single syllable rhyme schemes, you're full of shit. My rhymes are blatantly more complex than yours and a lot of your shit doesn't even rhyme. I wouldn't doubt you if you told me that you where trying to be extra corny and simplistic and not rhyming properly on purpose just to troll me.
He clearly listens to bad rap
You'd better listen to extra terrestrial type 3 civilization rap if you wanna say that
Have you ever heard of K rino, canibus, immortal technique, big pun?
if not then you're still in the rap stone ages.
I have a black belt in kajukenbo.
Buddy, I don't split my lines up into two-word chunks and don't need to capitalise my rhymes because there's usually 5 rhymes per 3 lines on average (mid-line rhymes happening 2 lines out of three).
Of course I've heard of Immortal Technique, he'd admire my lines and insane flow but maybe not my metaphorical complexity as that's not his specialty. The other 2 aren't that great in my opinion.
This isn't Kajukenbo, this is rap. My insults often related to real things like weekly leaderboard placings, real usernames of your allies and you yourself as well as even referencing Sv3rige hilariously to turn your own line against you about being a hard-hitter.
You probably didn't understand the Walker's crisps flip on you calling your flow crisp. Basically in UK there is a "chip" company called Walker's who produce the flimsiest crisps of all the companies (they actually are proud of it because they find it has the best sensations while biting it so it's disputable whether this is bad or not) but the point is that like those crisps your flow is flimsy as fuck and breaks when faced with mine.
Also the third round where I used 'race' at the end, it was the best 3-layered metaphor I've used this whole rap because of how it was positioned. The Farah repeat made you remember how much faster I am than you at thinking, debating and rapping and then the way I turned your racism onto you by making the albino remark (meaning like an Albino to his race, you are not in any apparent way a member of the rap community) then I tell you to hang yourself with your shoelace to again make you think of running and how pointless your trainers/sneakers are that you may as well have only bought them to hang yourself not to run with. I had quite a few of these gems hidden in my raps but usually it was just 2-layered metaphors as 3-layering is not even possible to do often due to that it requires build-up 2-layer metaphors to sandwich it between to give it the third layer.