I like a girl... </3
See.. i love a girl. And she considers me as a friend ONLY. We've know eachother for 9 long years, its only recently that i had this kind of a feeling.
any suggessions?
What should i do?
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What not to do!
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5
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Okay bro, there are a few things that could happen (in the most common situation anyway): 1) You tell her your feelings and she doesn't feel the same way, things get awkward and you become more distant in your friendship. 2) You tell her your feelings and she has them for you too, you guys go at it for a few months, break up, and eventually stop talking altogether. 3) You tell her your feelings and she also has them for you too, you get married and live happily ever after.
Now I'm telling you the first point is most likely the one that's going to be put in effect, so this is the question you have to ask yourself: Are you willing to risk your friendship over feelings that may pass in a month or two? Is risking that friendship worth it if she really means that much to you? In the end you'll never know unless you give it a shot, but it's a dangerous bullet to fire, that's why in the end it has to be you to decide, noone else.
Peace dude. Side: What should i do?
Tell her how you feel, the truth is generally the quickest resolve to a solution. Keep in mind, if telling her backfires, the worst that could happen is she would slow down doing particular things with you (hanging out, whatever you two do) in fear that she would "lead you on". This all depends on your relationship and how she deals with you telling her. The upside is you'd get it off your chest. Side: What should i do?
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I married my husband after being acquaintances then friends for a total of six years. He liked me the entire time that I liked him. For quite a while, we were both to shy or scared to say anything. If you really are as good of friends as you say, you need to tell her how you feel. Either something will happen, or she'll let you know that she isn't interested in that way. Then you can find someone who is. Side: What should i do?
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Honestly, the guys have already given you some great tips. But, from a girls point of view, I'm going to give you some tips. First of all, every relationship is different, including friendships, and you know her best so you're going to have to decide what to do. Secondly, I know this is going to sound harsh, but when a girl has a guy best friend for that long, she usually just wants that. You're a guys perspective for her life, and she wants to keep that. If you really love her, you can start doing some sweet more romantic gestures for her and work up to telling her. But you need to do some of those gestures first to get it out of her mind that you're just friends. If it does work out, then you guys will have a strong relationship though. :) Friends make the best lovers ;) Side: What should i do?
Well if you've known her for 9 years then you must have a lot of trust. Make sure you trust her enough to not hold how you feel against you and talk about it with her if she really isn't in to that way then don't bother with her because you'll find someone else. You're only in year 10 so you've got a lot of life to find someone else. But remember in doing this you may make the friendship get weird it's your risk. Side: What should i do?
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Perhaps I've been brainwashed by feminists, but I really do think males complaining about "friendzoning" is a bunch of hollow sexist bullshit that relies on a double standard to exist. The basic premise is that because the male has put in time getting to know a girl, he deserves sex from that girl. The basic premise is that the male pretends to get to know a girl under the guise of being a friend, when in reality all the male was interested in from the outset was sex. And then the female mistakenly takes your weak attempts to get laid as a genuine sign of friendship, and becomes your friend. While I admit having your devious sexual intentions backfire on you in this way can be frustrating, it's not exactly surprising and any guy who tries to get laid like this deserves to get "friendzoned." Think about it this way: Some girl at who sits next to you at school (who you do not find physically attractive, or think would be a good girlfriend) talks to you a bunch and over time you become friends. Then you find out this girls only intent was to get in your pants. Do you for some reason owe it to her to have sex with her? Does she deserve it just because she put in time and she wants it? No. Ultimately it's your decision, and if you want to remain friends with the girl instead of making things sexual you should be allowed to do that without being accused of "friendzoning." Side: What not to do!
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You love a girl....pfft! You mean you want a lusty romance with a girl who might not want one with you. If you are close friends with her and you two really click, you wouldn't be wondering what to do. You'd already have plans for the next cool thing you'll be doing together that you both already love doing together or have been talking about doing. If you are going to have an awesome romance it's going to happen all of the sudden and with no awkwardness. Hold back those lusty thoughts and just be cool, joke around and flirt. Should the time ever be right you won't be able to tell who made the first move. Side: What should i do?
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Don't TRY to start a romance. If chemistry is there, romantic feelings will be automatic Don't be more into her than she is to you. ie. don't make her more of a priority than she makes you. Don't be jealous of the time she spends with others. Don't ignore your intuition Don't lead a boring life Don't make an advance on her unless it's totally obvious that she wants you to. Don't use drugs or alcohol to "loosen her up" that's sleazeball shit. Don't stop flirting with other girls Don't be desperate Ok I'm realizing I could go on and on Don't heed all the advice you get :) Side: What not to do!
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Haha generally I find being a source of drugs and alcohol typically helps reel in girls. I never had more girls on the jock then when I was dealing. I wouldn't use drugs to "loosen a girl up," but everything you listed here is supposed to make the girl more likely to sleep w you, and it would be unfair to say gifting drugs and alcohol doesn't contribute towards that. Particularly if you're girls in the party scene; in that case, giving them a pill and a 40 is at least as romantic (and far more practical) than giving them a bouquet of flowers. Side: What not to do!
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You said you loved her. Do you really? That's the first thing you need to figure out. If you just like her then if she turns you down, it might not hurt as much. However, if you genuinely love her, then if she turns you down that'll leave a scar. You gotta think of the consequences, positive and negative, and how you will deal with all of them. Side: What should i do?
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