I have realised I have become this foul creature that doesn't think twice before insulting and attacking people and starting nasty quarrels and saying hugely unfair and unpleasant things. I want to change and I promise I will try to be nicer. I want to feel compassion, tolerance and hope instead of this anger and bitterness to almost everything and everyone.
Well, I do think in my case you deserve some credit for taking some insightful introspection into your behavior after declaring me an enemy. I could be wrong, but based on the fact you apologized privately and removed your declaration, I think you truly were sorry- at least at that time, maybe not after reading this post, LOL In any event, thank you! :))
I'd rather you'd just be yourself. If you're so insecure that you feel the necessity to be popular and liked then you have betrayed yourself as someone easily influenced and with an identity crisis who shouldn't be considered for a senior post of responsibility. How would an employer know that your inconsistent, pendulum like personality wouldn't swing back to Mr. Nasty at some point in the near of distant future? How would your senior(s) be confident that you could be entrusted with completing an important project without being waylaid or manipulated by the last person to whom you spoke? So, you like cursing, drinking, smoking and barroom brawling, that's fine, at least you're being yourself. Chances are you'll pay a heavy price, but so what? Or, you may like flower arranging and collecting cuddly little furry toys, that's also great. You may take some stick from bullying macho men, but that's the price you pay for sticking to your guns and doing what you want to in your own way.