If a dying child asks if there is a heaven after they die what will you say?
No, this is it.
Side Score: 93
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Yes, there is a heaven?
Side Score: 111
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I do not believe it is right to lie--child or adult, living or dying. If you don't know then say, "I don't know." If you believe so, then say, "I believe there is a heaven." If you disbelieve and are afraid the child will become frightened, you have numerous choices including something like, "No matter where you go from here, I will always love and remember you." Side: No, this is it.
There are evil lies, but there are also socially necessary, even beneficial lies. When someone asks, "how do I look?" we can choose to point out flaws in the other's appearance (which is being honest) but in most situations it is better to give a positive (maybe not completely honest) response. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
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Why would you cloud reality for them with lies right before they leave it? Pack that shit full of wisdom, tell the kid that no one is sure of anything, and that you wished you were they so you wouldn't have to deal with the utter nonsense that comes with living. Tell him/her that they are lucky! Tell him/her about the harshness of life, in all of the gory details. Tell him/her that kids their age all around the world are unhappy with life, getting raped, being killed violently, being neglected or beaten or are starving... Do something NOBLE and tell them what you know... don't chicken out and say something like "Oh yes, there's a heaven". That just shows how much you care about them, you just end it with "There's a heaven"... how cheap. Side: No, this is it.
I would probably tell the child, "Everybody in this world has their own beliefs and opinions and nobody knows what is going to happen. BUT, I can tell you as a fact, that when each one of us dies, our bodies go back into a cycle of life, to grow into flowers and birds, and the sky and trees and rivers." I would want to comfort the child while being truthful. Side: No, this is it.
I would be honest and tell the child that I did not know, and that he/she should come to the conclusion on his/her own. I would focus on his/her life instead, reminisce about the good times spent on earth, on the experiences to be thankful and grateful for. Make the child appreciate the life he/she has been able to live, without fear of being violently killed in a war or raped or starved to death over several months, as he/she might have in some countries where children are not so lucky. There are plenty of other comforting lines to use at that moment as well, to be alternatives to "there is a heaven". If it's your child, you say you don't know if there is a heaven, but you'd still love him/her forever. Or you could tell the child that death is not to be feared, that is a release, because if a child is dying and is undergoing constant agony, this might be a comfort to them. But lying to them? No, I believe there are better, more honest ways to handle the situation. Side: No, this is it.
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I would say no. I would add that I don't believe there is, yet other people seem to think there is. But just because a child is dying doesn't mean the kid needs to be lied to. By the way, as Richard Dawkins point out repeatedly on the God Delusion: There are no "Catholic Children", they are just "Children to Catholic parents". If the kid asks about heaven religious indoctrination has already commenced. Side: No, this is it.
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-3
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1
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I suppose I can't know if the child believes s/he led a heavenly or hellish life, but I would do anything I can to make his passing easier. "Compassion," that's the word. The child doesn't need to be burdened by my personal beliefs (or non-beliefs). Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
Regardless of the child's beliefs or upbringing, the only answer I could give is 'I don't know' because I don't. Lying to the child is not something I want to do and would be something for me to regret. If the child is capable of asking the question, she would be capable of understanding my response and the reasons for it. I wouldn't have lied to her about her condition either e.g. 'you'll get better, it's not fatal, it's not serious' rather, I would be honest in the most optimistic way: 'There is a chance you won't die Susan, but you must be strong, follow the doctors orders, fight etc.' un-coerced lies are usually unnecessary. Side: No, this is it.
2
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I would say yes because despite my own beliefs to the contrary, I feel it is more beneficial to give the child some solace in knowing he will have a better existence after a horribly short life. And once his death comes, if there is a Heaven and he goes to it I was truthful, otherwise he doesn't even know I was lying. But at least he died peacefully without worrying that he lived such a short life, etc. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
I am the most atheist person you can meet, but for a dying child who is asking me the question "is there a heaven", I would lie and say yes. The reason for this is simple. Heaven is a fantasy .. a great place where people get to frolic around in the clouds, playing harps and games of poker with famous dead people. The reality is that there is nothing after death only decomposition and your name on a bit of stone above your bones and that is a bit bleak, not everyone can handle it, especially not a child. This child just so happens to be on the verge of death, at this point they need positivity not despair any shock could facilitate their journey to death. So I would lie, and say their is a heaven, and say it is full of toys and ice cream. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
As was modeled so remarkably in the movie "Life is Beautiful", I would attempt to explain the destination options in an adventurous format. From my worldview, I believe that the Lord has accomplished all that child-like faith is attracted to - hope, love, security, possibilities and ultimately, true invincibility through Christ. He has gone to prepare this place called heaven for every child of his. He loves us and desires to perpetuate and grow that relationship forever and ever. I would also describe the choice that the Lord gives us in the metaphor of an airport with only TWO gates - both marked "H". The one (Hell-Eternal Separation) will be broad and lead to destruction. The other (Heaven) narrow and lead to this life eternal in the presence of God. I would add that this choice must be made by people who have had the privilege of navigating a more mature and typical length of life. His choice for all of His children under a certain age is life in community with Him, in bliss and peace. I would ask lots more questions of the child and gauge their curiosity and anticipation of what is to come. Often their insights are extraordinary. I love the treatment of this serious subject given by the performance of Abigail Breslin in the movie (from book) "The Ultimate Gift"...she senses that heaven will have butterflies everywhere. I love these glimpses of the possibilities...oh, what comes from the mouths of babes! Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
Even if I was an atheist, I think I would tell my child, or any child for that matter, that he or she will go to heaven for the same reason I would tell him or her about the stork rather than sex- they're just not ready for the news. That's a very, no offense, morbid way to think of death and I would never want to hurt a child like that. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
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If you are sure that they are going to die soon, then of course you should give them the hope of something better after death, unless they are the kind of kid who can accept their own death and ultimate end; but you would have to know this latter fact without a doubt. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
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The focus here should be on the child, not on our personal beliefs. Talking a little with the child will probably reveal specific fears. Say or do whatever is necessary to comfort the child. In such a situation, both the adult and child should be guided by a mental health professional. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
Although I personally don't believe in a heaven, out of generosity I would tell the child there was a heaven and that everything would be OK. It's pretty morbid and disrespectful in my opinion to tell a dying child there's nothing to look forward to. It's an easy fallback to use the Heaven story, so I figure why not? Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
Why not just tell the person dying that the cancer stopped spreading and that the person would make a full recovery! And imagine all the hope it would give that person! But in reality the cancer was spreading and they would die soon... But! At least they would be tricked into happiness in their last days:) Is it better to dwell in harsh reality or a pleasant dream. I don't know, but at least let the person come to that conclusion themselves. Side: No, this is it.
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It is fine and well that this is your opinion, but as an argument it does little. I was a Christian for 20 years; research who wrote the Bible and in what contexts and you may be surprised. Do not believe everything your parents and pastors have told you, look into matters with your own discovering eyes. Side: Yes, there is a heaven?
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