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Debate Info

10
44
It is wrong There is nothing wrong with it
Debate Score:54
Arguments:33
Total Votes:58
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 It is wrong (9)
 
 There is nothing wrong with it (24)

Debate Creator

Peekaboo(704) pic



Is it wrong to choose not to have children?

Once upon a time, it was almost universally assumed that at some point in your life, you will get married, and then you'll have children.

But people are increasingly seeing having children as a choice, not an inevitable stage of life. In 2008, 18% of American women nearing menopausal age have never had children.  In contrast, 3 decades ago that number was around 10%.

Some people who choose not to have children resent the traditional term for them, "childless", saying it implies they're missing something they ought to have. Instead they're calling themselves childfree.

The usual comments they get is that it's selfish not to birth and raise the next generation, or that they'll change their mind and want kids at some point. In response they say that children don't fit into their lifestyle, or that they believe it is morally wrong to procreate.

What do you think of childfreedom? Is it wrong for someone to choose never to have children - are they being selfish or naive or irresponsible? Or is it as legitimate a choice as, or more legitimate than, childbearing?

It is wrong

Side Score: 10
VS.

There is nothing wrong with it

Side Score: 44
1 point

Most of the time they're being selfish/immature/irresponsible when they're childless.

But in some cases it's good. People like Sarah Palin should've chosen not to have children. That would not be wrong. So it's not that it's wrong or right.. it's that for some people it's wrong and for some people it's right.

Side: It IS Wrong
Peekaboo(704) Disputed
3 points

What makes you say that for most people, not having children is selfish/immature/irresponsible?

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
cuntyguy2(203) Disputed
1 point

Their whole mentality is MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEE!!! Thus being selfish immature and irresponsible all at the same time.

Side: It IS Wrong
1 point

Or you just can't have children?????????????????????????????????????????????????

Side: It IS Wrong
Peekaboo(704) Disputed
2 points

This debate concerns people who are capable of having children, but choose not to, and not people who are infertile.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
1 point

How families can live without children? Children are the main cause of people`s happiness ! It is women`s nature to bear a child. And mother`s love is the most strong love. It is happiness to be mother.

Side: It IS Wrong
1 point

i am a 40 yom, have a demanding job as a graphic designer and I dont have or ever desired to have children. I have been with the same woman i met in college since 1995 and we never even saw the need to participate in the social construct of marriage either.

I agree with people who think not having children is selfish and immature. Thats why i dont kids, i dont want the burden, or sacrifice. I love my free time and disposable income, and the time and attention to share with my partner.

I still play video games with my spare time, and when i get home from work, i enjoy downtime to relax and recover from a days work.

Another turnoff to kids is obviously the extreme costs of childcare, to that i say hell-no. Additionally my co-workers who have a kid complain about the pain-in-the-ass their mothers are in their lives because of how much they depend on her for babysitting. I dont have this problem, my family has absolutly no influence on me because i depend on them for nothing.

Another benefit of not having dependents is the attitude i get to have at work. I dont not have to kiss ass, and try to climb the corporate ladder to earn more income for my family because we are DINKS... (double income no kids). What we make is more than enough to maintain our lifestyle and save as well. So i dont need to ever bust my ass.

So in closing, yes my decision to not have kids is not an altrusitic or environmental or political or whatever reason. Plain and simple, i dont want the trouble, burden or responsibility and that can be seen as selfish. But my question is to who am i being selfish? Who is the victim of my selfishness here? Whos business is it? Its my and my partners business to live our life as we please. To whom do i owe putting myself through the burden and sacrifice of child rearing?

You can answer, but it wont matter, becuase remember im selfish and i will continue to do what suits me.

thankyou

Side: It is wrong
0 points

The purpose of life is to grow and advance. It is a natural duty to produce a child so we keep on living. We fight in wars to keep living. We eat food to keep living. We fight when somebody's strangles us because we want to live. In a way, having children is a way to survive.

It is wrong in nature's perspective. If you don't think it is wrong, fine. I respect your opinion.

God bless. :)

Side: It IS Wrong
2 points

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to have kids (morally or otherwise). And I can think of many reasons not to have kids. In fact, I can think of 100:

1. You will be happier and less likely to suffer from depression.

2. (Assuming you get married), you will have a happier marriage.

3. You will have the capacity and time for meaningful, engaged, quality adult relationships.

4. You will be able to save for a comfortable retirement.

5. You are more likely to be an engaged and involved aunt or uncle because you are not jaded and worn down by your own kids.

6. You can fully pursue and develop your career.

7. You can fully pursue your educational goals.

8. You can decorate your home as you wish with as many beautiful and/or breakable things as you wish and you will not have to child-proof your house.

9. Your house will be free of junky, plastic kindercrap.

10. Your spouse will get all the love and attention he/she deserves. You will come first in your spouse/partner's life.

11. Your pets will get all the love and attention they deserve.

12. You can eat whatever foods you wish at whatever time of the day you wish out in the open, whether it be a gourmet, exotic meal, or chocolate chip cookies.

13. You never have to yell, scold, correct or punish anyone (assuming your spouse and pets are well-behaved ;)

14. Your home will be a quiet and welcoming oasis, instead of a chaotic zoo.

15. Your identity will remain firmly intact.

16. You will enjoy personal privacy.

17. You will get a full night’s sleep every night.

18. You will have the time and energy to exercise regularly and take care of your health and appearance.

19. You will stay informed and engaged in current events and will remain an interesting conversationalist.

20. You will retain your attention span.

21. You will minimize your carbon footprint and do far less damage to the environment than your childed peers.

22. You can be yourself (for better or worse) without worrying about having to be a good example.

23. You can live in whatever town or city you like without concerning yourself with quality of school districts, child-friendliness, etc.

24. You will be able to travel more frequently and your travels will not be limited to summer or school break times, or to kid-friendly destinations.

25. Speaking of vacations, you will be able to use your paid time off for vacations, instead of burning your days to take care of sick kids.

26. You can spend an entire weekend vegging on the couch in your pajamas if you choose.

27. You will maintain the capacity to be spontaneous – to do things spur of the moment, without complex planning or babysitter arrangements.

28. You can curse, swear, debate and vent freely in your home without worrying about censoring yourself.

29. You will never have to suffer the agony of childbirth.

30. You will be better able to retain your youthfulness and sex appeal because your body will not be ravaged by childbearing and a crappy diet.

31. You can eat your meals in peace without having to continually jump up and down to serve people.

32. You can own whatever type of car you prefer – you are not limited to mini-vans, SUVs and other family-friendly gas-guzzlers.

33. You can live in whatever type of home you like. Spiral staircases, wooden stairs, sharp-edged countertops, a small backyard, busy street are not necessarily deal-breakers.

34. You can buy a much more affordable home because you won’t need many bedrooms and you won’t have to limit yourself to more expensive, uppercrusty-good-school-district-towns.

35. Your grocery bill will be at least half of that of a family with children.

36. Your utility bills will be much lower than a family with children.

37. Your gasoline expenses will be much lower than a family with children (fewer shopping trips and errands, no chauffeuring).

38. You will spend your weekend doing things you enjoy, instead of attending boring children’s soccer games and birthday parties, or playing chauffeur.

39. You will have the energy and interest to maintain an active, attentive and enjoyable sex life.

40. You will have the freedom to come and go at will – you will remain independent, self-determined and autonomous.

41. You will have plenty of down time if you desire - naps, reading, meditating, lounging, listening to music.

42. Your life will have a manageable and comfortable pace. You will not be harried and stressed out, running around like a headless chicken trying to do it all.

43. You will age more slowly and will have fewer wrinkles than your child-encumbered peers.

44. Every night can be “date night” if you want it to be.

45. Your life will be one of far fewer worries, compared to your childed peers.

46. You will have the time and energy to actively contribute to the community – volunteer work, civic involvement, etc.

47. You can watch whatever you like on television at any time without censoring and you can watch complete shows or movies without constant interruptions.

48. You will spend far less time and effort on housework than families with children (the time and effort you will save on laundry alone is substantial).

49. You will have the time, energy and money to pursue whatever hobbies and interests you like.

50. You will not be contributing to the world’s overpopulation crisis.

51. You will not add to the drain on environmental resources.

52. You will never go through morning sickness or post-partum depression.

53. You will never have to endure the loss of a child.

54. You will never have to endure the strain and upset of raising a diseased or disabled child.

55. You will never have to deal with raising a troubled child (drugs, pregnancy, STDs, delinquency, truancy, crime) and will never be saddled with raising grandchildren because your teen child gets pregnant (or gets someone pregnant).

56. You will have spending money and can actually spend it on yourself if you choose.

57. The physical intimacy you share with your partner/spouse will remain romantic and will never have to be planned, scheduled, forced or manipulated like a science experiment for the sake of getting pregnant.

58. You will never suffer from burnout from trying to obtain the “have-it-all” lifestyle.

59. Your life will continue to be flexible. You can change your mind and your plans at a moment's notice.

60. You will not have to change diapers, wipe snotty noses or all of the many other stomach-turning things a parent must do.

61. You will not have to endure crying, screaming, fighting, temper tantrums and other surly child behavior.

62. You will never have to fight with a child over homework or worse yet, have to sit and do homework with a child.

63. You will never have to attend PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences or other school-related drudgery.

64. You will not have to save thousands upon thousands of dollars for a child’s college education (or more importantly stress and worry about where the money will come from).

65. You never have to set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese.

66. You will never have endure endless hours of noisy, electronic toys shrieking through your house.

67. You can enjoy alone time when you need it.

68. You will be more easily able to escape a bad marriage (if you should need to) than if you had kids, without having to maintain ties with your ex.

69. You will not have to live the life of a hand-servant.

70. Assuming you get married, your marriage will be more egalitarian than it would be if you had children. You will not have to adhere to traditional gender roles.

71. You will never have to pay child support.

72. You and your spouse/partner can be intimate freely in your home without having to lock doors, muffle sounds or otherwise try to hide what you are doing.

73. You will never have to endure the sound of crappy teen pop music blaring through the house.

74. Holidays like Christmas can be affordable, manageable and relaxed if you choose.

75. You will never be disappointed on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day (unless you have unreasonable expectations of your pets).

76. You will never have to go on a “play date” and be stuck sitting with boring yuppy moms and dads you can't stand just so your kids can play with each other.

77. You can beautify your property with gardens, waterfalls, trees and other natural features instead of stripping it bare for a play area, or junking it up with swing sets, sporting equipment and toys.

78. Packing for vacations and day trips will remain a breeze.

79. Your vacations will actually be relaxing and you will come home rested and refreshed, instead of wiped out and in need of a second vacation.

80. If you have medical insurance and your employer requires you to contribute, your premiums will be much lower than they would if you had kids.

81. You will never have to be embarrassed by a child who is a bad representation of you.

82. You will never have to sit through sappy and annoying kiddie movies or t.v. shows.

83. You can have kid-time if you desire it by taking your nieces, nephews or friends’ children for an afternoon. And then when you’ve had enough, you can give them back and go back to your peaceful life.

84. You will never have to worry about whether you are a bad parent or the long-term psychological damage you are inflicting on a child.

85. Going out for an errand will entail hopping into your car, buckling your seatbelt and leaving instead of a full half hour production to get the kids dressed, fed, ready and situated in the car.

86. You will never have to pack and lug around huge bags of stuff every time you leave the house.

87. On long drives, you can listen to whatever music, radio programs or books on tape you enjoy - instead of grating kiddie music.

88. Your pets can roam freely in your house with no fear of being sat on, squeezed, poked, or having their ears, hair or tails pulled.

89. New Years Eve will continue to be a rockin' late night blow-out affair for you.

90. Your mornings will be quiet and relaxed, instead of a chaotic, beat-the-clock marathon having multiple people to corral, bathe, feed, dress and get out the door on time.

91. You will not have to pay thousands of dollars a year on child care, or burden your family members by using them as babysitters. You will never have to hire a babysitter.

92. Being aggravated, frustrated and irate at home will be a rare occurrence, as opposed to a daily occurrence if you had kids.

93. Your neighbors will appreciate living next door to you.

94. Your boss will appreciate having a reliable employee who works her full hours, calls out sick only rarely, can work overtime if needed, and take on special projects. You might even get a raise, or get promoted.

95. Your friends will appreciate your broad interests, your attentive listening and conversational skills, and the fact that you won't bore them to death talking endlessly about babies and childrearing.

96. You will rarely get sick.

97. You won't be last on your list of people to take care of.

98. You will never have to feel torn between your career and your family - feeling like you are spread too thin and not doing a great job at either.

99. You will set your own agenda.

100. You will live a life of pride, knowing that you are courageous trailblazer!

As it stands right now, I don't want children nor do I have any second thoughts on the matter.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it

did you think of all of those off the top of your head or did you copy an paste them? be honest!

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
bigdarin(3) Disputed
2 points

Irrelevant. Copying and pasting doesn't make any of those points any more or any less valid.

Side: It is wrong
TheHallow1(78) Disputed
1 point

I copy and pasted them. Obviously. But quite a few of them were already reasons I had for not having kids.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
Netka(15) Disputed
1 point

At the begining I want to say that copy-paste can not be assumed as a debate and although if you do it you should even read them and avoid stupid arguments. I will write about exact arguments.

1) 1,2-after maybe some years of marrriage you with your partner will want your relations to be on the higher level and appearance of children will do this. You will be bored with each other and children will strenghthen and your family.

2) 5, 10, 11 are very dull arguments, but I will also answer. Pets....how can we compare our children and our pets, although I love my pets very much. And I think that children will be able to give more love for pets thatn parents. About aunts and auncles, they can even be afraid of taking care of children because they havent done it yet. About spouse, do not forget that child not only gets love, he gives even a much more love to his parents.

3) 12, 13, 22, 26, 28. About these ones I can say in the opposite that children can help us to be better. You said that without them you dont need to be a good example, but if you are trying to improve your bad sides of your character and your future deeds and it work, you become like an ideal and example it is a great thing.

4) 4, 35, 56. About money-if you do not spend them on your children it doesnt mean that you save them and then buy something good or live by them during your retirment. If a person has money left he will spend it on something and children are not the only thing. But If you dont want to spend your money on children, if you spare your money for your children what is the meaning of your life at all? because chilsren are our future, we invest in them to have someone who will continue your way.

I will not answer each argument because they are similar stupid)....I just want to say - Do not forget that "none will remember you for your thoughts"

Side: It IS Wrong

no, of course there is nothing wrong with it. it is an individual choice (i mean if everyone chose not to then the world would be in difficulty, but thats very unlikely)

personally i want kids and cant imagine anything better and more beauiful than raising my own child but thats my own opinion. if you dont want to, then thats your own individual opinion it isnt for everyone. but the important thing is that you shouldnt feel that you have to.

it is an individual and personal choice and i hope your choice makes you happy

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
2 points

There is nothing wrong with your moral compass if you choose not to have children, and likewise if you choose to have children.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
2 points

I myself want children someday but it doesn't mean that everyone else does. Children are not for everyone and i do not recommend children for everyone. Some people are just made to be childfree.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it

I'll give you a baby anyday! Haha. We would make the perfect lil girl, and you know it. I love you my queen!

Side: There is nothing wrong with it

No there is nothing wrong with not having children it just means you are not ready to have none or you still want to have your own freedom...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
2 points

i think there's nothing wrong with it. after all it's their life and their body. if they don't wana have kids they don't have to. it's not selfish at all. it's wrong to force pregnancy upon someone.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
2 points

Of course there is nothing wrong with it!

If you don't want kids, then you shouldn't have kids. If you don't feel that you can support them financially, don't have 'em. If you are a big, smelly, horrible, slug-shaped alien, don't have kids!

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
2 points

If a) we could assume that propagation of our species is objectively right and b) we were in danger of extinction, then I could see why some would consider it wrong. I could see an argument for (a), but (b) does not seem to be the current case.

Besides, some people would make horrible parents, and there is resource drain to consider.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it

Well im only 13 so between you and me there is nothing wrong with it and one day I want kids to but right now im still growing up.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
1 point

Everybody on the other side is just mad cause their lives are fucked up because of their kids and they're miserable with them. Don't be pissed off mad cause you missed out on an opportunity of a lifetime to not have kids

Side: There is nothing wrong with it

Not at all, I do not plan for children at least not how I see it now. My opinion may or may not change, more than likely it won't change though having children should always be a choice not a necessity. The human race does need inheritors to continue on, though they will be from those who have chosen to have children. In the end, still a choice.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
1 point

If society will encourage women who want to spend time only for themselves. What will be further? What will be with our planet?

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
1 point

i am a 40 yom, have a demanding job as a graphic designer and I dont have or ever desired to have children. I have been with the same woman i met in college since 1995 and we never even saw the need to participate in the social construct of marriage either.

I agree with people who think not having children is selfish and immature. Thats why i dont kids, i dont want the burden, or sacrifice. I love my free time and disposable income, and the time and attention to share with my partner.

I still play video games with my spare time, and when i get home from work, i enjoy downtime to relax and recover from a days work.

Another turnoff to kids is obviously the extreme costs of childcare, to that i say hell-no. Additionally my co-workers who have a kid complain about the pain-in-the-ass their mothers are in their lives because of how much they depend on her for babysitting. I dont have this problem, my family has absolutly no influence on me because i depend on them for nothing.

Another benefit of not having dependents is the attitude i get to have at work. I dont not have to kiss ass, and try to climb the corporate ladder to earn more income for my family because we are DINKS... (double income no kids). What we make is more than enough to maintain our lifestyle and save as well. So i dont need to ever bust my ass.

So in closing, yes my decision to not have kids is not an altrusitic or environmental or political or whatever reason. Plain and simple, i dont want the trouble, burden or responsibility and that can be seen as selfish. But my question is to who am i being selfish? Who is the victim of my selfishness here? Whos business is it? Its my and my partners business to live our life as we please. To whom do i owe putting myself through the burden and sacrifice of child rearing?

You can answer, but it wont matter, becuase remember im selfish and i will continue to do what suits me.

thankyou

Side: There is nothing wrong with it
1 point

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having children, it is a personal decision. I wish that more people would decide to remain childless, it would do the world a great deal of good. On the other hand I hope to have children someday, and can think of nothing more fulfilling personally.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it

A married couple can be very happy without children. No married couple should be forced to have children.

Side: There is nothing wrong with it