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Debate Score:15
Arguments:7
Total Votes:15
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 Just for fun... (7)

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Bradylee(28) pic



Just for fun...

 Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

 If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

 If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
 If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

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3 points

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Paper, probably.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

On the stage. The great audience participation.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Yes, and there are people there to make sure that doesn't happen ;D

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

The two refers to the graphite grading scale, or hardness of the graphite core. Not the popularity.

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

Born again refers to spirituality so I guess the better question is, does the spirit have a belly button?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Succeeded at failing.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Because tourist season is different from hunting season, in a sense we can shoot them....with photography.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why do you have to buy Barbie?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Names have a power, psychic ability doesn't always extend to that...if one believes in psychic's. I'm more surprised when they don't know someone is at the door.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You get scared half of a half. It just doesn't sound as good saying you got scared 1/4th to death. ;D

That was fun.

1 point

Ha! Thanks, those were some good answers! Glad you liked it.

2 points

Here is some more jokes, mostly about Christians cause I should be able to laugh at my own beliefs right? I mean this is funny...

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.

How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

Change???

How many neo-orthodox does it take to change a bulb?

No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.

How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.

How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?

At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They always use candles.

How many worship leaders who use guitars does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

How many members of an established Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb?

One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted-all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

"What's a light bulb?"

How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb?

Youth pastors aren't around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

109. Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Subcommittee, who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 member Church Council, who appoint another 12 member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Council proceed, a resolution is brought to the Convention floor. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Convention supports the changing of a light bulb, and the Convention votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7 member committee to find the best price in new light bulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware has the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to the Walt Disney Corporation. They report back to the Trustee Board who, then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.

2 points

I was going to answer a lot like Mint_tea but she beat me to it, so I'm going left field instead:

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? - Bed

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? - On a hungry alien starship arriving soon.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? - Yes, unless they canibalize him simultaneously, and then he keeps on swimming within them in sync.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? - Maybe the dark mark from inside is or once was caused by poop?

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? - Yes, although one is strictly spiritual. If you could see the spiritual one you'd notice it has sushimi on it for God to eat off seductively when the time is right.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? - You've been elected President of the USA like Donald Trump.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - Because they can shoot at you.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - Because other girls are slow to befriend wanton sluts.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? - It grants them magical access, like if saying a vampire can enter your house.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? - You move away from the USA because Trump got reelected.

2 points

It was really unfortunate that I read the try to fail answer while I answered the phone. It's hard to explain to a caller why I was laughing when I can't get into politics here.

2 points

And for those of you looking for love here is some advice for you from real experts... WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??

"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" (Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE??

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE??

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" (Lynette, 9)

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE

"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE

"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)

"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS

"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8)

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6)

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...on fire." (Christine, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"

"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)

"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)

"Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love." (Roger, 8)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8)