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Debate Info

57
86
Never, ever Valid tool
Debate Score:143
Arguments:64
Total Votes:231
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 Never, ever (30)
 
 Valid tool (34)

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madeingerman(179) pic



Parents spanking their kids

Oh, smack!

Never, ever

Side Score: 57
VS.

Valid tool

Side Score: 86
5 points

Spanking doesn't teach kids why they shouldn't misbehave. It sends the message that it's ok to hurt people when things don't go the right way and also creates fear from the child towards the parent, leading to an unhealthy relationship. Parents should come up with an alternative solution by imposing consequences that will teach their kids about rules and respect instead of violence and fear.

Side: Never, ever
liquidjin(20) Disputed
0 points

Spanking teaches plenty of children why they shouldn't misbehave. It is not the end-all-be-all solution for disciplining a child but it is one way of teaching children that certain actions will cause even the ones they love and who love them the most to want to hurt them. Sending a child to their room is also effective but it is not a replacement for spanking because they teach different things.

If you were to send a child to their room for playing with fire, after having been told the dangers of doing this, then you are not teaching them the playing with fire is dangerous and will result in pain and suffering. You are teaching them that playing with fire is unacceptable around you. These are not the same thing.

Side: Valid tool
Bradf0rd(1428) Disputed
2 points

In this situation, the child playing with fire... it's not that the kid is misbehaving though. Is the fire bad because of the kid, or is the fire bad out of necessity.

It is the fire that is bad, so why beat the kid if the fire is the bad thing??? All you need to do is educate them as to why you "know" fire is bad. Show him/her pictures of burned down houses, burn victims, etc. Then ask the kid if you think that they wanted to catch their house on fire, or if the kid wanted to catch on fire... The answer is obviously NO. No one wants to suffer, but that the other people that were playing with the fire didn't understand the fire... and they made one mistake and ruined their lives and will be in more pain than they could imagine for the rest of their lives.... just because they wanted to play with fire...

(or, you could just beat the shit out of the kid... because when you hit them, they concentrate on the lesson that is supposed to be learned rather than the pain of being hit)

Side: Never, ever
3 points

I don't think "Never, ever", but I definitely think it should be used as a last resort because frankly, they don't learn anything from the experience other than to obey your authority out of fear of punishment. This means that as soon as you are gone, the obligation to do what is best for them in your eyes is illegitimate.

It is so so important that you explain to them why what they were doing is wrong, and that they hear you and understand. Also, don't make them feel bad for what they've done, this is also important because if they get the wrong image of themselves, they will try to fulfill it. Make sure that they know that they are good, but that they've made a mistake and that it's not a big deal (because usually, if you think about it, it never really is a big deal unless it's constantly reoccurring) and they will usually have enough faith in themselves (from you believing that they are good), that they should willingly try to heed your words.

Also, how many other people do you hit throughout the day? If you're a normal person you'll go without hitting anymore for a long long time... so how would you feel if you were that kid, looking up to his mother or father and then being hit by them... without ever seeing them hit other people.

Just be an ADULT, don't beat up on your children for misbehaving, that to me seems far worse to do than whatever made you think to punish them, because you as an adult know better.

Side: Never, ever
3 points

I feel like I have a fairly well rounded experience on this topic. As a kid I was spanked (sometimes beaten) often. By all reasonable means of measurement I was a well behaved child. My father was incapable of disciplining me in any other way and it was, at times, borderline child abuse. To this day my parents still chuckle at the time that I was in the doctors office for a routine check up and I had been "disciplined" to the point of bruising. The doctors advise was to make it a little more discrete next time. Apparently leaving the back door open was grounds for being beat with a 3/4 in. wood stick. The sad conclusion that I came to later in life was that this mentality was something learned and not inherent.

When it was time to raise my own children I knew there was no possible way that I could mis-treat my children in the same manner. I am 6'5" and weigh 250 pounds. Can you imagine me spanking a 3 year old. How would I have the ability to know when I was hitting to hard?

What I have come to find out is my kids are extremely well behaved, much better than me or my brother ever were, and I have NEVER resorted to spanking to get them to that point. Being a good parent means you don't have to resort to the "lowest common denominator" mentality.

Side: Never, ever
jeanetta(1) Disputed
1 point

My Mother did not spank she beat us with belts, sticks and razor straps. Also the slaps across the face, the fingernails digging in the arm, pinching and pulling hair. I was shy and very quiet, did all the housework that I could possibly do, got very good grades in school, helped take care of my younger siblings but no matter what I did I still got beat. My daughter was never spanked and she turned out super. She and her son live with me and we have wonderful times, and a very peaceful home. We do not ever use the words, stupid, dumb, fat, any negative words. My grandson also has never been spanked and is such a good kid...I really know this way of raising children works, no beatings, no put downs, no screaming..one day I mentioned (positive way) that our dear neighbor of over a year was African American, my grandson was upset with me, he said "She has a bit of a shadow and she is exactly the same as we are inside".

Side: Valid tool
1 point

Spanking doesn't get to some kids. Like me for example. I used to laugh just to piss my parents off, and no matter how hard they spanked me, I would never do what I was told.

Although It is a tool that can be used, it should only be used when dealing with violence, to prevent further violence, as this shows a real life consequence of the same action.

Spanking encourages children to use violence to solve all problems and this is simply not reasonable.

Other tools such as, locking a kid in a room for a day is a lot more appropriate, and is a good non-violent of dealing with a kid, as well as giving them time to think about what they've done and how it is wrong. It is also a good incentive for parents to keep things such as TV's and Computer out of Young children's room, to allow full development of their mind.

While I do believe It's a valid tool, only in valid (and rare)situations should it be used.

Side: Never, ever
4 points

I don't see a big difference between locking in a room and spanking.

If spanking encourages violence, what does locking into a room encourage?

Side: Valid tool

It's good that you don't believe in spanking because in the U.S.A. they'll nail you for that.

Side: Never, ever
2 points

BS. There is no law against it in the US

Supporting Evidence: Legal Situation of Spanking (en.wikipedia.org)
Side: Valid tool
1 point

Well first of all - violence only produces more violence.

You should respect your children. You don't spank those who you respect.

And a person that you don't respect will never respect you. They can be afraid of you, but will never respect you.

This is a sign of weakness if you can't make your thoughts clear enough without physical execution.

And if spanking kids to educate them is ok - is it ok to beat up your wife to make her understand smth? Will you spank your employees if they don't get smth? I think no. Than why do we treat children different than other humans?

Side: Never, ever
ENDT91(36) Disputed
2 points

Physical execution? That's a little strong just for describing a tiny spanking. A situation with trying to get your wife to understand is different than with trying to get children to understand. Your wife is an adult and understands how life works. We treat children differently than other humans because the other humans are adults and already know better. Children don't think of the consequences of their actions. A spanking makes them think of the consequences, but in smaller terms. If a child gets in trouble, and the parents always reason with their kids this sends them a different message that you can always work your way out of trouble by simple reasoning, but this simply is not true. Children need to learn that sometimes you can't get out of the punishment for your wrong doing. For example: bank robbers can't get out of trouble by reasoning. They have to serve their time. Just like a child needs to be spanked if they take something that's not theirs. They can't reason with their parents as to why they shouldn't be held responsible.

Side: Valid tool
1 point

I'm actually REALLY against physical discipline to children. Spanking or squeezing the child's arm or perhaps smacking them in the face, they're all the same to me, no matter where you lay your hands. And all it does is install fear. And using fear to make someone listen is pretty harsh. It's the same method used to make people turn to God for Goodness sake. Sure, I get it, kids don't listen very well and sometimes smacking their ass til they cry might get them to listen, but it's also going to cause several more psychological problems than you think. Why can't people use their brains to instill better discipline instead of the easy way and doing physical pain? It just doesn't make sense; it's illegal for a man to hit a women in anyway she finds hurtful, but parents have the right to hit their kids? What gives?

Side: Never, ever
1 point

Spanking a kid saves not only the parents but them aswell... How? Ok an example: when your at a store and your kid ask you for something and you tell them no several times and not just that but they throw a fit and start throwing themselves on the ground... That's emberrasing it shows you have no control over your child now you can either take them to the restroom and give them a reason to cry or 2 wait until you get home spank them and let them know why you spank them... The key when spanking a child it needs to be done with no anger cause that's what lots of people do and takes them to beat up the child... Put them in the room once they are calm go in there talk to them and let them know what they did was wrong and its something they shouldn't be doing and always tell them you love them I do that with my daughter and it works great and she knows already there's no need to be going over and over the samething... You need to let the child know your the one in control not them cause one thing kids have is that they test the parent to see how far they can go or to find away to get out with something... Our kids are smart and they are always finding away to get away with anything... Not all kids are the same tho' some of them don't need to be spank they listen when you talk to them, but there's others that do needed once in a while... And ofcourse your not going to spank a child for every little thing they do depends on what it is sometimes they just need to be put in the room go in there talk to them, but hey remember your the parent and they're your responsability and they're under your control let them know next time they do it you will take action, but remember you always need to do what you promise them if you don't they will keep on doing whatever they want... So a good spanking putting them in the room going in there talk to them and tell them you love them trust me they will understand and they'll know better next time. ;)

Side: Never, ever
1 point

Parents who uses spanking/ inflict physical punishments are one of those bullies themselves. Think about it, inflicting physical pain whenever they think the kids deserves it, and most do it out of anger towards the kids. Even the Government don't cane offenders unless their crimes are very grave.

Spanking also shows parents taking advantage of the kids' defenselessness. It is a form of assault and violence, yet the parents don't mind doing it to their own children because they believe that their kids will not fight back. If the kids are capable enough to fight the parents back, parents will definitely not simply think of caning their children whenever they feel like it.

Side: Never, ever
0 points

I simply can't imagine a reason to do it.

Side: Never, ever
0 points

There is a difference between instilling fear in a child and teaching respect and boundaries.

Side: Never, ever
0 points

Violence never has a good outcome.

Side: Never, ever
mtdew456 Disputed
1 point

Some wars are good examples of violence having a good outcome. The Civil War ended slavery, WWII ended Nazism, and the American Revolution ended British rule in America. War has solved countless problems. Some wars are ignorant in nature but anyone who thinks that the end of Nazism or slavery is a bad outcome has some serious moral issues; and sometimes everyone just needs an ass whoopin'!

http://www.helium.com/items/570667-american-history-the-outcome-of-the-civil-war

http://hitlernews.cloudworth.com/aftermath-of-WWII.php

Side: Valid tool
-4 points
-8 points
-9 points
7 points

I think it is valid as long as you never do it in anger only in correction.Also you should be able to control how hard you spank.

Side: Valid tool
5 points

I agree that spanking is okay as long as it is used as a corective tool and does not become abusive. A child needs to know that there will be discipline from their parents. Punishment should be consistent and a reason for the punishment should always be made clear to the child. If someone choses not to spank, great. Raising children is difficult and I respect anyone who finds a way to have well disciplined and much loved children.

Side: Valid tool
4 points

My sister and I were both spanked as children, however I can only recall this actually happening a few times. Because it absolutely works as punishment. A slap on the butt while being sent to your room or bare bottom on the bed if you were really bad. I learned my lesson in second grade and I don't think I ever misbehaved again...that is until high school and grounding worked pretty well after that. I will most certainly use spanking as a punishment tool. My sister and I are both successful, healthy, normal women that have terrific relationships with our parents, friends and loved ones. As long as the limits aren't pushed I see nothing wrong with a spanking.

Side: Valid tool
3 points

I was brought up by "spanking" (My parents used to spank me with wires and belts) and I've become probably what they wanted me to. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, and am in general a good person.

I'm also shy, don't like people, don't like my life and hate my parents.

I would never spank my kids, but overall I'm glad of what I've become.

Side: Valid tool
2 points

Some children do not respond to anything but physical contact--whether a hug or a spanking. So long as neither is uncontrolled or done in an inappropriate manner, both are acceptable methods of childrearing. The most important thing is to know your children. If your child does not like being touched or does not respond to being spanked, both you and the child need to seek professional counseling to examine the underlying issues.

Side: Valid tool
2 points

We may need to draw a distinction between abuse and discipline for this issue: abusive use of physical force is unwarranted and/or excessive, and not constructive in any capacity. Disciplinary use of force is using only so much as to show the child the consequence of its actions, not to necessarily "punish" them. I think spanking should be left as a last resort for disciplinary action, but I am by no means opposed to its use when necessary. Screaming, cursing, and threatening a child is more traumatizing than spanking it without exhibiting anger (if only my father did that instead of throwing me up against a wall and screaming in my face).

Side: Valid tool
2 points

The last time as a child I got into trouble, I was 5. I got spanked. I have nothing against it, because it works, unless you just beat them for nothing.

Side: Valid tool
2 points

I was spanked as a child. To tell you the truth, yea it hurt physically, but as a kid that's the only thing I could learn from. Children don't really think in the future. Reasoning with kids is nearly impossible. Had my parents tried to reason with me, they would be wrapped around my finger. Kids would love nothing more than for their parents to reason with them because parents are suckers for cute kids. This gives the kids power over their parents and eventually they would take advantage of that power...it's part of a kid's nature. I think spanking is kinda like salt. I know it's a weird simile, but hear it out. With salt--too little...bad, too much...worse, but just the right amount...good. The only problem is parents don't know the right amount. They fly off the handle for every little thing a kid does and that is wrong. I can honestly say that when I have kids, I will spank them. And yes...it really is gunna hurt me more than it's gunna hurt them, but in the end they will learn that there are consequences for their actions.

Side: Valid tool

The operative word here is "spanking" and not beating! I do believe it to be a valuable tool in child rearing in some cases as long as healthy conversations or explanations go along with it so the child eventually understands why they are being punished. Moderation is key here. One cannot simply spank their children and have that be their lasting memory. Only fear can be the result of that and fear is not healthy for children nor is being feared actually desired by adults. Should spanking be your only discipline I suggest you examine yourself and your parenting skills and bring both up to speed. Most times you'll find that your child does not bear the responsibility for your ill temper. Own it, because you do. A spanking is but one of many tools at your disposal. Don't make it your only one. You'll eventually have the opposite effect of what you want...a well behaved and disciplined child.

Side: Spanking is but one tool

I will try everything I can to never hit my kids.

But on the other hand, I know how aggravating kids can be (from when I was a kid) and would not judge parents that do smack their kids too hard, if I don't know the full story.

It should be a last resort, but reasoning will sometimes only get you so far. By the way, verbal abuse can be at least as damaging to a child's ego as an occasional slap on the bottom.

Side: Valid tool
beevbo(295) Disputed
1 point

Spanking or any threat of painful punishment is definitely an effective disciplinary tool, I remember how deathly afraid I was of getting the strap in elementary school.

However, I've seen how effective the "time-out" punishments can be, and as lame as it sounds to be giving your kids time-outs, they do respond to it. I because they're so effective, it renders spanking obsolete.

Side: Never, ever
1 point

Negative reinforcement can be a powerful behavioral modification when used not to excess.

Side: Valid tool
1 point

physical discipline has been around since parenthood... even in the animal kingdom it is used.

why? because it's worked for this long. now, i do believe that you can get psychological on a kids ass (i never need violence since i am good with psychology on anyone) but lets face it, not everyone is a psychologist. i just wish more parents would spank their children... too many spoiled brats at Target.

Side: Valid tool
1 point

Spanking is just as valid as rewarding a child for good behavior. It's like you're training a dog. If the dog does what you want (i.e. roll over), you give him a treat. If he barks at somebody or acts bad, you punish him. I think "training" a child should be the same, just not the same rewards and punishments.

Side: Valid tool
1 point

If you spank your kid it means you love them if you don't that means you don't love them

Side: Valid tool
garry77777(1797) Disputed
1 point

"If you spank your kid it means you love them if you don't that means you don't love them"

This clearly stems from the fact that you have spanked yourself as a child, i am sorry for you but i have to tell you that not spanking a child does not mean you do not love them. Children should not be physically abused in order to control them, and that fact that you think corporal punishment is a prerequiste for parents loving them is a seriously twisted opinion.

Side: Never, ever
Srom(12206) Disputed
1 point

If you spank your kid after when they do something wrong it means that you love them. If your kid does something wrong and you don't spank them that means you don't love them. Like my parents spanked me when I was little when I did somthing wrong.

Side: Valid tool

My parents spanked me when I was being a bad little boy. So does my wife for the same reasons. I'm not a terrible person or a freak because of it, and I'm not special, so why should I assume that spanking your children is a bad punishment?

Beating your children and making it sting to sit down are two different things.

Side: Valid tool
1 point

Spanking your child is showing responsible parenting. The parents that dont spank the child, also dont usually even reprimand them. They allow their children to run the adults lives and expect everyone to think "arent they cute" when they are destructive, rude, abusive and downright nasty. Then when the child ends up in trouble or dead, the parents ask " how did this happen, they were so good". Open your eyes you slacking parents. Get off your lazy butts and parent the evil seed you force on the rest of us. And yes, I have children, 4 productive , respectful grown functioning adults I love very much, which I smacked the daylights out of if they needed it.

Side: Valid tool
0 points

As a mother of six, I would highly recommend some sort of corporal punishment. Five of them were boys and I had a large paint stirrer that I printed on it "Board of Education". I never took any pants down but a light sharp zap on the thigh never really hurt anyone. My daughter, never, all I had to do is mention the "board" and she complied. Her brothers had set an example for her, she was no dummy. All my children are grown and very accomplished and, imagine this, still love me!

Side: Valid tool
0 points

Spanking children is needed at times. Parents not being able to disipline their children is why they go to school and shoot people. I was spanked as a child and turned out pretty good. People holler abuse way to soon. A proper spanking should be allowed. Please,TIME OUT is pointless. We have to let them know that certain behavior is not allowed. And reward them for good behavior. They will appreciate it more in the long run. But there has to be rewards as well as punishments.

Side: Valid tool
0 points

Serves them right because what they have done something wrong

Side: Valid tool
0 points

in Australia spanking is allowed

Side: Valid tool