CreateDebate is a social debate community built around ideas, discussion and democracy.
If this is your first time checking out a debate, here are some quick tips to help get you started:
Arguments with the highest score are displayed first.
Argument replies (both in favor and in opposition) are displayed below the original argument.
To follow along, you may find it helpful to show and hide the replies displayed below each argument.
To vote for an argument, use these icons:
You have the power to cast exactly one vote (either up or down) for each argument.
Once you vote, the icon will become grayed out and the argument's score will change.
Yes, you can change your vote.
Debate scores, side scores and tag scores are automatically calculated by an algorithm that primarily takes argument scores into account.
All scores are updated in real-time.
To learn more about the CreateDebate scoring system, check out the FAQ.
When you are ready to voice your opinion, use the Add Argument button to create an argument.
If you would like to address an existing argument, use the Support and Dispute link within that argument to create a new reply.
I agree, there is no way that u can expect a teenager to go through high school without trying things. Sure i don't think its right to just have lots of sex with people you don't really know, or just to have fuck buddies. But as long as they are wearing protection and ready to except the consequences that come with it.
Because being sexually attracted to some one is something that you cant stop. Everyone gets sexual urges and acts on them. Its almost like saying its bad to cough when you have something stuck in your throat. Also don't you think it would be better to be active at a younger age? After all they will have to some time? Is now not as good as later?
Yes everyone gets urges but NO not everyone acts on them. Now can lead to things like teen pregnancies and STDs. Later they can make the decision of who to be with in a more mature state of mind.
sure they can make decisions at a more mature state. But as a teenager your not thinking about how u should wait tell marriage. The more u tell some one not to do things such as telling a teenager not to have sex, just makes them want to do it even more.
The more u tell some one not to do things such as telling a teenager not to have sex, just makes them want to do it even more.
That is why you provide strict regulation, better funding to educate teenagers and most of all LOGIC to why you are telling them to wait. It works, trust me, I come from a community that lives by this and all of us waited till marriage being born in Canada where abstinence is not the norm.
OK u can provide strict regulations and talk tell u r blue in the face! but the fact is that the only way that they will really understand the consequences and benefits is to try it."You will never know unless you try." Thats what im getting at here. Also how ill u know if ur partner is good in bed or not? If ur partner is not good in bed then thats a very important part of the relationship that is missing. Now how would it feel if u marry someone and there is nothing there when you have sex?
yes they need to be able to experience things on their on as a parent you cannot shelter a child from the realty of the real world you can only prepare them with information and the negative aspects of sex. But u can not run your child's life how will he/she ever learn to manage their own life's when you as a parent are running it for them. New experiences and trying new things are what make you who you are. the only people who can answer this question are the minors who are put in this situation we can not control
THEIR lives as long as these minors are ready to accept every consequence and benefit from sex then it is entirely up to them
Anything from their is their fault and their responsibility. If it upsets the parent, too bad for them-- shoulda thought of that when they were being raised.
I'm seventeen and my boyfriend is twenty-one. If you were to say minors shouldn't have sex where does that leave couples like us? Because he is no longer a teen it's okay, but since I am... Well, you see.
I think as long as the couple shows the maturity level and has the correct protection that there is no problem. As a majority I'd have to go with no. But I have to say yes seeing as I am one, and see nothing wrong with it.
It should be up to the individual if they want to have sex or not, not that of someone else. Obviously if they are way too young to even fully understand what sex is then they shouldn't be doing it, but that doesn't mean they should wait until marriage. If they want to wait to do it with their wife/husband then that is their choice, but nobody should be told to wait until marriage. Anyways, in my opinion sex is way to good to wait until marriage to do ;)
Of course! They are human beings too, but some people think they (we) are objects, and don't have the right to consent and/or have opinions. A sure sign of this is when that person says "You're/they/he/she is too young." To those people, I say, Fuck off.
Yup, it's their decision. People shouldn't force their super idealized and romanticized visions of a simple physical activity onto anyone they can (teens, because they're "young", that's an excuse.). Sex is what YOU make of it. What's dumb is saying they should go get married. Haha. Fucking religinuts.
First, I have a problem with the subtext-defined definition of sex written into the question, and I also have a problem that the author choose to create a specific, technical and arbitrary legal exception to minor sexuality written into the language of the question (that those who are married--something gay couples cannot do--are excluded from this question and presumably have the right to have sex without state intervention).
Second, not all the harms of sex exist to all populations equally. Do minors having gay sex experience the same risks with HIV or pregnancy or date-rape? Are lesbian minors in committed relationships as psychologically well-adjusted as their gay male or straight counterparts? Does the population of straight people who were taught abstinence as a strategy experience the same risks in sexual activity as the population of straight people who were NOT taught abstinence education and instead were taught about contraception and protection? The answer to all of the above questions should be a resounding "NO" based on empirical research data. Populations differ in risks, sometimes dramatically so, and an umbrella plan that treats all kinds of sex the same, all sexually active minors the same, and all sexualities the same, neglects the diverse portrait painted by empirical researchers in the field of sexuality.
Those who cannot flesh out what they mean by "sex" and "minors" just aren't trustworthy to me; they appear to me as those who aren't interested in seriously investigating the diversities and complexities of sex, and are satisfied with gross generalizations that blur critical differences between populations.
"Those who cannot flesh out what they mean by "sex" and "minors" just aren't trustworthy to me; they appear to me as those who aren't interested in seriously investigating the diversities and complexities of sex, and are satisfied with gross generalizations that blur critical differences between populations." ...IT WAS A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO CREATED THIS DEBATE. IF YOU READ FURTHER INTO THIS DEBATE, BEYOND YOUR OWN OPPINION,THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE THE ONE OFF TOPIC.PERHAPS THE "GROSS GENERALIZATION" WAS THE DEBATE CREATORS PARENTS INFLUENCE ,.....JESS SAYS SHE IS A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL..IF NOT, THEN THIS DEBATE IS THE WORKS OF A VERY UNTRUSTWORTHY PERSON INDEED! But if what she is saying is true, then this remark is just ignorant... However,i completely agree with this remark.."an umbrella plan that treats all kinds of sex the same, all sexually active minors the same, and all sexualities the same, neglects the diverse portrait painted by empirical researchers in the field of sexuality"
By all means, yes. Only retrograd conservatives and religious magoos think otherwise.
Of course, parents should educate their kids in a way that they could have at least an idea of what they're getting into. But sex WILL be a part of their teen age, whether parents want it or not.
And it's only healthy for them. Both physically and mentally healthy. Sex and relationships are part of what makes a boy become a man and a girl become a woman. It's part of our nature and it's part of our growth experiences that makes us feel whole.
I do. I am. I am 17 and I have a boyfriend for a long time. I decided not to have sex until I get married because I do believe that virginity is something which is precious and must only be given to your spouse on the day of your marriage. Based on my research, (since I produced a research paper about premarital sex and its effect to marriage) premarital sex (admit it or not. idc) leaves a negative effect on people especially on our mentality. (you may not admit it) Plus, your premarital sexual activities will somehow create a damage on your future married life. (you may not know it for now) but it does lead to divorce sometimes. I chose not to have sex not because the Bible told me to do so or my parents told me to do so but because I respect myself enough not to have sex until I wear my wedding ring. And my boyfriend respects my decision too.
So what evidence did you find that demonstrates premarital sex "leaves a negative effect on people especially on our mentality", or that it "will somehow create a damage on your future married life"?
I'm 35. Way past the point of "not knowing now". I've been twenty once, and indeed we still know little at twenty, let alone what constitutes a good lover.... And honestly, we know little the rest of our lives, and we spend them constantly learning from constant mistakes, constantly finding ourselves in situations to which we don't know how to overcome, and we are perpetually growing up.
A close friend of mine lost her virginity at 33. She had to take the morning after pill because, of course, she had no clue what she was doing, and that condoms do sometimes break. She also told me that first time was not really that great because her hymen was burning and she couldn't focus on the whole thing. Only after a week or so she told me it was starting to feel really good. At that point she was starting to know herself and her partner, sexually. I don't think I need to go into any more details.
The first time sex is not at all better than the times in which you have had enough sex to know how to push the experience higher. Things are better as experience allows for improvement. The first time can be good if you're not high on your expectations. Psychology 101 tells us expectations ruin lots of experiences.
A lot goes against your conviction that premarital sex can cause divorce. That is not only a non sequitur, it's also flatly wrong. Divorce is often caused by conflicts that originated in sexual dissatisfaction, which happens more likely among people with little sexual experience and/or a sexual life with limitations imposed by prejudice, which eventually becomes monotone.
Besides that, knowing your partner before committing to something you take as seriously as marriage, includes knowing him sexually. Some people are indeed sexually incompatible, and cannot adapt to each other, thus why people don't enjoy all sexual relationships they have.
People who are open minded are not prevented from improving by experience and getting better at it and expanding it and having fun with it, thus cultivating the sexual part of their marriage/relationship, which is one of the most important ones. Of course, the most important part is communication, which can help solve/mitigate many of the problems in other parts.
Are you trolling? What happens when they're 18? Does it magically become unsick? Sex is what you make it. I don't see it as any sicker than them doing some other physical activity, for pleasure or for pain. Stay out of other people's "private parts." God, some humans are so immature. The body is taboo, certain activities are taboo...
NO!Because sex is wrong to teenagers, it is a sin in the eyes of God. If you want that to happen then tell your parents that you want to get married and your free to do it anyplace,anytime and anywhere you want it.....
No, it's not, you idiot. In "God's" time, its people had sex and got married very young. Where in the bible does it say "teenagers shouldn't have sex."? It doesn't. It has a problem with ANYONE having sex before they're married, whether they're 12 or 80. Whether they're in love or just really lusty.
Teens/minors can safeguard against all kinds of problems (like sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies) if they just wait until they are married and decide that they want children.
Well that is true BUT it is the teens decision whether they want to have the sex, i mean hell if they want to do that and get pregnant it's their fault.
Kids should be able to choose. I want them to stay safe but hell i want them to be able to have and do more than i ever got to do. Im a junior in high school and i think it's total bulls* that my parents are the way they are, im moving out in a couple months to be with my fiancee and personally my parents can go (somewhere i dont wanna mention) for all i care. Parents that try to run their childs like and control what they do are just starting up a huge argument.
This is just stupid. Your parents brought you in to this world and have much more life experience. Maybe you should try hearing them out sometime. I know it helped me.
Kids are kids. We have a responsibility to protect them. Sometimes even from themselves.
That is why i say teens should be able to choose, my parents let me get raped, they let me get hurt, and sat back on their asses and didn't do anything. But i say, on that note, that teens should be able to do whatever the hell they want, they are gonna end up doing it anyway.
No they are not going to do it anyway. If you have responsible parents and surrounding teachers etc, they will not be able to. It sounds like you did not have such a luxery and that is a shame. So because they "let" you get raped, sex for minors should be OK?
That's not what im saying hell. i mean minors should be able to choose their own free will. I wouldnt tell my kids who to date, or who to have sex with (unless they are going to get hurt, then that's a totally different story) so why the hell should we have to go with what our Dumb* parents think?
There are many studies suggesting the mental effects on children who engage in sexual activity before they were mature enough. It is a parents job to protect them from that. If my kid talked to me the way you do, he would be locked in a room for the rest of eternity! Who says there parents are dumb? C'mon! If nothing else, they brought you into this world!
EXACTLY..........................this girl is only 16................................................GO FIGURE...................maybe thats why she reached out to strangers.
WHO are you to assume jesss' parents are so loving or caring as yours or anyone elses.If she is seriuosly subjected to this (RAPE)by her parents you have basically told her to put up with her abuse!...Some parents ARE indeed negligent of the ability to appropriatly guide their children on Anything.Would you tell the same advise to josef Fritzls' kids? What, for all his "life" experiences would they learn?
That goes along with it, i mean my parents let me get raped, the let me get raped twice, and well ive been sexually active for about 3 years. And they just now told me i was allowed to do what ever the hell i want because they never cared about me, i was a mistake, but i still think teens should be able to choose, fuk what the parents say!!!
This is just your personal anger. You have no logical reason as to why teens should be allowed. It is this exact mentality that is ruining the world today. No respect for anyone.
well my personal anger is also in some other peoples opinions. MY parents are assholes. They beat me and no punishment for them. Alot of people where im from agree with me...it's insane that parents should rule the childs life. END OF STORY!
If you are a minor, you live by their rules! END OF STORY! I am sorry to hear you were mistreated however, that is not relevant to this debate. A parent must be held accountable for their actions as well. That does not mean its OK to tell children to do whatever they want.
WHO are you to assume Jesss' parents are so loving or caring as yours or anyone elses.If she is seriuosly subjected to this (RAPE)by her parents you have basically told her to put up with her abuse!...Some parents ARE indeed negligent of the ability to appropriatly guide their children on Anything.Would you tell the same advise to Josef Fritzls' kids?What, for all his "life" experiences would they learn?
P.S...........YES......Jesss' personal situation is not the topic here.(or is it ?)......and YES you are right, it is NOT ok to tell kids to do whatever they want..BUT, it IS humane to guide them in the right direction.
I am not telling her to take the abuse. As I said, parents must be held accountable as well however, they are still the adults. Society must remove children from such homes, but once again we still must put our faith in responsible adults.
Yes..........we should put our faith in responsible adults.That is why it is silly to assume that the creator of this debate wasnt in fact looking for some responsible advice in adults, other than her own irresponsible parents.The cases of child abuse are never black and white.REGARDLESS,of how the creator titled her debate, from a childs point of view,raising the subject on a site like this, may not be a silly way to go about getting advice.Yes,through my own witness of events, i have seen many cases, also, of such claims,where after much attention and investigations,the end results, is that the child just wants to get its own way and doesnt like to be confined by rules. Dont take this as a personal attack ......i just want this girl to get the help she rightfully deserves.
I completely agree. I have been looking at this as debate and not looking at the fact that a 16 year old needs help. It is also very tragic that irresponsible people like this, keep these children and make it harder for others who are responsible to raise their children. Most of all, they abuse these children to the point of out lashing and then the children are punished.
JESS.............firstly dont bother trying to get any kind of genuine sympathy from 96% of the people here.Secondly, may i say i am one of the 4% who does give a shit, and ,i honestly do understand how you feel......and i believe the only thing i can tell you is,BRACE YOURSELF!,you have a long way to go.You will,by the sound of your determination,overcome what abuse you have endured...and mature into a strong woman,making you a survivor,who may be of a benefit to helping children of abuse such as yourself..from the bottom of my heart,All the best for your future!............Now onto the topic of your debate.... Premarital Sex (Should minors be able to have premarital sex?)I personally dont feel that MINORS(under the age of 17) should be having sex.However,they are.For this reason sex education is a must.When you have a minor the age of 17 with a adult of 19,i feel that this does not fall into this same line of questioning: Should teens be able to have sex with anyone they want and who they want? Should they be able to?,In this case,yes. However if it is a case of a 17 yo/29yo,then i say there is a lot of questions a parent has the right to address.BTW..Promiscuity, is one of the many side effects of child abuse.Which is a damn good reason, why people should think twice before calling someone a slut.
Premarital Sex (Should minors be able to have premarital sex?)I personally dont feel that MINORS(under the age of 17) should be having sex.However,they are.For this reason sex education is a must.When you have a minor the age of 17 with a adult of 19,i feel that this does not fall into this same line of questioning: Should teens be able to have sex with anyone they want and who they want? Should they be able to?,In this case,yes. However if it is a case of a 17 yo/29yo,then i say there is a lot of questions a parent has the right to address.BTW..Promiscuity, is one of the many side effects of child abuse.Which is a damn good reason, why people should think twice before calling someone a slut.
No they should wait. They are not at the maturity to make such decisions which lead to STDs and teen pregnancies. Which lead to children dropping out of school, the welfare system struggling and a child without a responsible parent.
If you try to run a childs life you are just leading them into destruction. Yeah it may cause them to do things. My parents treat me like shit. And blamed me when i got raped last year, shows you how parents can fk a childs life up, i havent been able to see my grandparents cuz they thought i did it willingly. So im all for what the teens are gonna do because you cannot change what the children are doing.
Just because you do not feel you can stop them, does not mean you should condone the behavior. You can't stop murderers either. Does that mean we should just let it go?
This is the biggest problem when it comes to sexual education in the modern world today. We just figure we can't stop them anyway, so we do not even try. Making something acceptable in society, simply encourages such behavior further.
um murder isn't consensual nut PREMARITAL sex is...not saying rape isn't premarital but when i think of it its about a boyfriend and girlfriend or something else that we shouldn't discuss under this topic
YES................i agree.We want our kids to make mature choices but we dont educate them effectively on topics such as sex education....BTW... i have tagged all my arguements -no but lets get real.
Since a very strong majority of sex probably is heterosexual sex, I don't fault a focus on it. I think it is rationally justified. But apart from this debate, I wonder if you, personally, have difficulty conceiving of other kinds of sex.
There is protected sex and gay sex as well, you know? And this is something you shouldn't take my word for, but should go out and confirm or deny yourself with research, but: the population of those who undergo abstinence-only strategy programs in school are less likely to use a condom in their first sexual encounter than the population of students who learn about condoms and protection in school. That fact kind of debunks your idea about waiting-till-marriage (something that gay people cannot do, and also something you don't mention at all) as a strategy to fight STD's and teen pregnancies.
Fight the HARMS of sex, not sex itself. Also, what are the benefits of non-reproductive sex? That is something difficult to value. It's very easy to talk in terms of $ dollars the cost of unwanted teen pregnancies and STD's, but it is not at all easy to compare it to the metaphysical benefits of non-reproductive sex. From an evolutionary standpoint, it is very difficult to understand why such forms of sex have evolved to persist not only in human populations but in other animals as well (bonobo lesbianism and overall primate homosexuality is well-mentioned in sex research literature), but it is an interesting question, don't you think so? What are the benefits of non-reproductive sex? How do we value it when the "rewards" are seemingly intangible and difficult to evolutionarily explain? Heterosexual couples are probably the most guilty for non-reproductive sex! Man, the challenges of experiencing pleasure without having to pay for a baby...
First off, I did not ever promote abstinence only education in schools nor did I mention anything about gay sex for or against. Secondly, I fail to see the relevance of your argument about non-reproductive sex as we are talking about premarital sex whether protected or not.
Also you say *(something that gay people cannot do, and also something you don't mention at all) as a strategy to fight STD's and teen pregnancies.)
The debate is about minors engaging in premarital sex, not pre marital sex in general so even for gays, I am against it for minors.