Should parents have any right in deciding their childs future?
Basic question, should parents have any right in deciding their child's future?
As in, edging - (in some cases forcing) their children to take a certain decision, such as a certain career / sexuality.
I think they have a right - depending on the child's age - to help, or monitor their child's decisions but I mean, actual deciding for them, regardless of their opinions / beliefs?
Yes, they created the child!
Side Score: 16
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No, they have their own life.
Side Score: 22
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I think it's important to be age and culturally specific here. Since I am an American, I'll use that culture and my age bracket will be from birth till about age 15. In America we teach our children to be independent, but I've stated before in other arguments, that uncontrolled independence can develop into isolation. Everyone needs to become part of the heard eventually if they intend to be productive participants in society. This development requires goals and expectations set up by their parents in order to work. It's important to guide a child's future since they are not capable of seeing too far into it. I say they can't see into it, because no child ever thinks they will ever be 30, or 50...etc. Their vision is limited. This handicap makes it essential that parents create and enforce a sense of direction. The curious nature of the handicap combined with the sense of independence instilled at birth creates a tension between parent and child that children, due to their lack of foresight and narcissism, can't understand. No parent is perfect, and their own poor judgments and behaviors sometimes have negative impacts on children's futures, but if there is no guidance then children might as well be feral and raised by wolves. Side: Yes, they created the child!
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In America we teach our children to be independent That is an untrue phrase. Not every American parent does that. My question actually was inspired from American stories / people. And I agree with most of what you said after that. But, I also meant not setting them a goal, but (for example's sake) 'Sitting down and deciding, "What shall our child do in the future? Follow in the family business? Doctor?" etc.' and then setting them goals towards that, when in fact the kid may be more interested in being an athlete etc. Side: No, they have their own life.
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I see a lack of the definition of the word "child" making this debate difficult to enter without defining such. Once a "child" reaches an age where they are "legally" responsible for their actions, it's time for them to learn that they are responsible for said actions. Prior to reaching said legal age, nobody has a right to interfere with decisions made by the child's parent(s) regardless of the whining that always accompanies decisions made by bureaucrats and others who think they know better. Sure there are shitty parents out there but once you traverse the slippery slope to take away parental rights, where does it end? CPS is completely out of control and works through courts that don't allow due process...which is a Constitutional right. These days some black robed tyrant who thinks s/he knows best makes decisions without the Constitutionally protected right of a trial by a jury of your peers. My children could only be taken after I'm out of ammo and my body is cold. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Side: Yes, they created the child!
They certainly can't decide for the child. This leads to the individual being stuck in a job that he or she will be dissatisfied with in the future- not good. But parents must have some say in their child's future. Children do not think as logically as adults and if parents allow their children to make all of their own decisions, most of the children will end up pursuing jobs like a princess, rock star, model, movie star, clown, etc. If I was allowed to make me own decisions as a child, I would have dropped out of school in Kindergarten because at that time I wanted to be a father. Yup, that was my career choice. Of course, my parents thought it was cute but still made me go to school. ;) Side: Yes, they created the child!
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Yes, they do to a certain extent. The child is there's to monitor, nurture, and guide until he becomes an adult. At that point the parents have no say in the child's futur . That does not keep them from having their input on what the child does, but that does not allow them to completely control them. Side: Yes, they created the child!
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Children are quite rebellious. The parents ought to be able to guide the child. Look at the true story behind the Amityville Horror: Son wants his way. Father gives in for years. Father puts his foot down. Son murders family. Or the Columbine school massacre: Kids become obsessed with guns. Kids get picked on. Kids get mad. Kids kill people. It's the same old story all over the place. If the parents had done a better job raising and supervising the children, none of this would ever have happened. They would never have learnt how to make bombs, they would never have acquired an arsenal, they would never have made plans to kill their classmates and teachers. Sure, there are some things which a child can decide on for itself - job, spouse, religion, politics, etc. But they must have supervision. Side: Yes, they created the child!
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Just to be clear, what other aspects of life other than job, spouse, religion, politics, would parents have the right in deciding their child's future? Now future means adulthood, not decisions in childhood like schooling. Because than it becomes unclear. Are the children of the future going to be composed of robots by stripping their individuality and turned into dead obedient conformist members of society just because there were a couple of bad examples. Do we really want to afflict the majority to save the minority? Parents should always have the upper hand but not to the point of choking. Parents give guidelines and recommendations and not requirements. Side: No, they have their own life.
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Perhaps what a relative of mine said was best. He obeyed his parents not because they had rules, but because he did not want to shame them. He was not affraid of them - they were not going to hurt him whatever he did, but he loved them so much that he didn't want them to be disappointed in him. Some requirements, on the other hand, are there for a reason. They can tell them what to and what not to do. If they do not obey they may end up becoming a school shooter. Or, they might just end up turning out perfectly normal. Side: Yes, they created the child!
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They can't decide. If you believe in Behavior Psychology, you'll know that parents can structure their child's career choice and sexuality if they do it right, but as for deciding FOR them... almost impossible (unless they structure them to ONLY listen to the parent). But I really don't even know if there are parents who are smart enough. If they were, though, I would actually encourage it, they seem to know what they're doing. Side: No, they have their own life.
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Your response indicates you aren't a parent. Why enter a debate that you aren't qualified to enter? Once you've had a child and have made the sacrifices to rear them, come back and let us know based on real world experience rather than your opinions based on something you've read. Side: Yes, they created the child!
Being a parent doesn't actually make you qualified for knowing shit about psychology. I am not a practicing psychologist, but i've studied enough to know a shit load more than 90% of parents out there. And this is not a debate asking parents, it's asking us, the general public, whether parents should decide the child's future. It's a question on individualism and anyone who is an individual is entitled to make their opinion present. You are an elitist. Side: No, they have their own life.
You've had your chance to live, know let the next generation have theirs. Naturally as this is purely based on opinions, I cannot prove or disprove anything in the eyes of a neutral party, as said party would not fully understand such things. I'll try empathy, you wake up one day and have nothing to look forward to but someone looking down at you, telling you who you are, what you do, what's right and wrong, what is real and what isn't. You go through this every day for 18 years, every time you do or say something you're not told to, you are punished. Now for those of you who completely psychopathic, I have found logical support while I was typing,think that person went through that and then has to be placed on the other end, do you really believe they will be able to do it. Stop trying to live through the next generation and accept your inevitable, necessary end. Side: No, they have their own life.
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My drawing teacher once told me that your parents only have as much power as you give them. Well, quite frankly, I don't give my parents very much power. They're the type of parents who want to decide my future, minute by minute, and plan it out for Ultimate Success (bolded because it makes it seem cooler). I don't let them punish or discipline me because what they consider something I've done "wrong," I consider something I've done. I'm making my own choices and deciding my own future, and that's the only thing I want to do right now. Side: No, they have their own life.
This is the difference between humans and animals. Animals learn from their instincts and entirely on what their parents have taught them on how to survive, with a few, minor exceptions. In humans, we develop our own thought. True, it's usually influenced by our ancestors and history and past event's, but we make progress. We constantly come up with new ideas defying the old and improving life. To give this right up to a child is creating a mindless, imagination less brainwashed zombie kid who is run by tradition and not his own thoughts, like most animals. Side: No, they have their own life.
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No. A child should be able to decide his/her own life. If a child wanted to follow his/her dream that their parents did not agree on would they have to make a choice that their parents want that could affect their whole life? Parents can structure their point and give the child advice but not make the choice for them. Parents must know when its time to let go off the child. Side: No, they have their own life.
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So what if our parents gave birth 2 us, they have 2 respect our decisions 2. When they put aside our opinions of what we wanna be, they are putting aside our feelings 2. We have just as much power as our parents. Its true dat our parents should guide us, but not completely. We have 2 learn from our mistakes. Besides, what happens when our parents aren't w/us? Do we sit there n dun no wat 2 do? We have 2 decide our future, our parents wont always be w/us. We are the 1 living in the new generation, we should live our own life 2 the fullest. no one should stop us from wat we wanna become n tell us how 2 live our life. We have the power 2 decide our own life n the way we want 2 live in it. end of discussion. Side: No, they have their own life.
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PARENTS SHOULD NOT DECIDE THEIR CHILDRENS FUTURE AS THE CHILD MAY NOT BE CAPABLE WHAT THE PARENT SAYS OR HE OR SHE DONT LIKES ,SO THEY SHOULD HAVE THIER OWN RIGHT OF CHOOSING THEIR FUTURE EG. CHILDRENS SUICIDE IF THEIR GOAL DOESNT ACHIVE SO... I AM AGAINST PARENTS MAPUSA: The Vice Chancellor of Goa University, Dr Dileep Deobagkar, said that parents should not impose their will on their children with regard to choosing their careers.
“Parents should allow children to choose their own careers as only then will the children prosper and achieve a sense of fulfillment in their life. We should strive to ensure that our children have a successful future and are happy in life, for this parents should refrain from imposing their will on them” said Dr Deobagkar. He further said that if a student joins a course which he or she is passionate about then his desire, dedication, enthusiasm and effort will be of the highest order and he will be successful in his career. The Vice Chancellor of Goa University made these observations while speaking as a chief guest at the inaugural function of Golden Jubilee celebration of Janata High School at the Late Anant Tople School Hall at Mapusa. He further mentioned that technology cannot substitute human beings and pointed out that even in this age of advanced technology man has to realise that he is supreme and therefore avoid depending too much on technology and inventions that are finally man made. “Technology cannot teach human values to the students. It is the duty of teachers to teach the importance of moral values to their students. Today, the students are in a position to gather lot of information through internet but it is the duty of a teacher to teach the students how to use this information for the benefit of mankind. Good values inculcated in the students by the teachers help in making students good human beings,” Dr Deobagkar remarked. He further stressed the fact that a teacher should teach the students the concept of learning that comprised basic education and regretted the trend among many who feel that becoming doctors or other such persons in life meant goal accomplishment in life. “It is not necessary that the students should become doctors or engineers to become successful in life. Now a days there are range of options available for the students to choose. Teachers should try to unearth the latent talents in the students and motivate them to develop those talents and success through this could mean a lot for the students,” he observed. The manager of the high school, Ms Saroj Tople also spoke on the occasion and called upon the students to excel in life by making use of all opportunities that are made available to them. Ms Tople said that when a student excels it is a pride for all those who are associated with the student. Earlier, the chairman of Janata Educational Trust Mr Jagannath Manerkar welcomed the gathering. The chief guest, Dr Dileep Deobagkar lighted the traditional lamp. During this occasion, the Ms Saroj Tople, Mr Baburao Karekar and Mr Ravindra Sirsat were felicitated at the hands of Dr Deobagkar Side: No, they have their own life.
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