Spanking!
For
Side Score: 13
|
 |
Against
Side Score: 17
|
|
|
|
|
Teaching a child discipline through spanking is often confused with abuse. One of them is preferable by many parents and very effective in leading to a well behaved, respectful child/teenager/adult. The other (abuse) is detestable and vile and is rightly illegal in the US. It is this confusion that is one of the causes to why some parents are against spanking. How do we know the difference? Quite easily, one is done as a method of teaching the child that there are painful consequences for their choices (discipline). The other is done out of malicious intent from a mentally disturbed, unfit parent (abuse). The discipliner acts out of love, the abuser acts out of anger or lack of love. Remember that abuse doesn’t always have to come in the form of the physical. One can easily warp any form of discipline being used into sounding like it is abuse (i.e. ‘time out,’ or “go to your room,” can be warped into being considered a form of neglect. Taking away what a child likes can be warped into being considered a form of deprivation.) Spanking is not abuse. If you were to suggest that slapping a child across the face is wrong, or beating them with a belt or shoe is wrong, then I would agree, but that is not spanking. When my daughter was very young, I personally felt that spanking (although not my only form of discipline) was very effective in teaching her that ‘Daddy means business.’ I actually rarely spanked her, using it only as a last result. As she got older (around 5), I found that I didn’t have to spank her anymore. In fact, I rarely if ever have to discipline her at all anymore. She is very well behaved, polite, listens to instruction, easy to babysit, just an all around good kid. When I spanked, I made sure that it wasn’t in a fit of anger; directly after an incident. Spanking was used as a last strike thing. I would talk first, let her know why what she did was wrong, listen to what she feels and why she did it, and tell her not to do it again, this usually ended the bad behavior and that was that. However, if she happened to do it again, I would take her aside, talk to her again and then put her in a corner of the room away from other people with her hands on her head. If she did the same wrong again (rarely ever got to this point), I would send her to her room, talk to her about what she did so she understands, and then spank her with my hand and have her stay in her room. Each time I would talk, talking is very important. To this day, my Ravyn will come to me and talk about how she felt about certain situations where she felt mistreated and angry, we have a very strong bond as a result of communication. My brother doesn't spank his children, and that is his choice (well actually his wifes choice, she abhors it). But a clear difference can be seen between our kids. I will not single out spanking and not spanking as the sole cause of this difference, but I see it is as personal evidence that spanking is very good at teaching discipline. My brothers child will not listen when someone is talking to him (he’s six) he will say NO! when instructed to do something. He gets into things he is not allowed to, etc. I do not doubt that our kids love us very much, but one thing is certain, one child respects and trusts her parent, and the other clearly does not. Side: For
Corporal punishment during formative ages, when not used in excess, is demonstrably effective. If it's done judiciously by a parent who is normally affectionate and sensitive to their child, no harm should be done. I only wish my mother'd had the balls to discipline me properly then; I might not be such an insolent shit now if she had. Side: For
You are suppose to spank your kids because if you don't then the kid might keep doing the same bad thing over and over again until you have to spank the kid. If you spank the kid then later on the kid will know what he did was wrong and he will not do it again. If you love the kid you would spank them but if you don't spank them you don't love the kid. Side: For
1
point
"You are suppose to spank your kids because if you don't then the kid might keep doing the same bad thing over and over again until you have to spank the kid." If i recall we debated this issue before, you're obviously incapable of accpeting the fact that children can be disciplined without resorting to physical violence. "If you spank the kid then later on the kid will know what he did was wrong and he will not do it again." I disagree, i was never really spanked but on one of two occasions when i was i can tell you that it didn't deter me in the least, in fact spanked fuels hatred, it may work on some people but i can gaurantee it fostures and foments anger in the individual it is used upon, and thus it should not be used on anyone. There may exist some cases where it could be jutifed but these are in the extreme minority. "If you love the kid you would spank them but if you don't spank them you don't love the kid" Thats completely and totally preposterous, if anything the opposite is true, not that it is, beleiving that in order to lvoe your children you must physically abuse them is absurd. Side: Against
Well what do you recommend? Do you think you are going to say them your grounded? And then be done with it? What happens if they keep doing the same bad thing over and over again? Are you then going to spank them or are you going to ground them again? If you don't spank them then that means you don't care for them at all. Side: For
1
point
1
point
I make use of this punishment quite regularly with my children and if anything, they are more submissive, not aggressive. And none have ever attempted to leave. Any punishment can cause a child to be bitter and want to leave. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be disciplined. Side: For
1
point
|
I used to not see the problem if this course of discipline were given in a controlled setting and not out of anger, and not to any great extent. I believe now I was mistaken however, and actually it kind of seems silly and barbaric when one forgets how common it is. There are a number of ways to discipline even the most willy children without violence, and for those who cannot be for whatever reason disciplined by any other means it seems by all evidence spanking works no better, so what is the point of reinforcing the idea that violence = getting your way? Side: Against
Spanking is pretty barbaric, I agree. Personally, it was something that I used, but only as a last resort. I found it to be easier, and very effective in establishing dominance and authority. I guess one could assume that spanking is the easy or lazy way about it considering the supposed time and work involved in other forms of discipline, but looking back, I can see that I rarely if ever actually HAD to spank my daughter. Most of the time talking to her about what she did and why it was wrong and also listening (very important) to how she felt and discussing some alternatives was very effective in shaping the development of my daughter. Spanking was used after repeated offenses to make sure she knew that I meant what I said, and I believe the only reason it came to that was because that is what my parents did. I didn’t think to consider alternative ways to establish authority; it never even crossed my mind. Your last point that you made was very noteworthy, iamdavidh! Indeed, what IS the point of reinforcing the idea that violence means getting your way?! I was taken aback by this at first considering I frequently use the quote by Isaac Asimov “violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” I realized in that moment that I WAS the "incompetent" through my course of discipline with my child! So yea, I have to say that I totally agree with you. Thanks. EDIT: changed "result" to "resort." Side: Against
1
point
Children learn by imitation, humans are copiers. It's how we've come so far, the fact that children learn by watching adults and in turn imitating them is widely accepted in the world of child psychology. Therefore, if you use physical violence against your child, besides emotionally stunting them, you show them that this is the way to solve problems. Too many parents from previous generations were themselves beaten as punishment, and this is evident in the emotional incapacity of "older" people. I emphasise older simply because it is not a hard and fast rule. Very often, children misbehave because they themselves are going through emotional problems, actually speaking to them as a peer is not something those in the spanking brigade keep in their arsenal of punishments, which usually consists of one solution to every problem. Side: Against
1
point
In my opinion, spanking is not a way of bringing children up, it is not a solution to the problem. From my poin of view, if you spank your child it will only negatively influence your child, he will becomme more agressive, and the result of it will be that your child will run away. And then you will have really serious problems. Side: Against
|
