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Honestly, some children require it. You tell them over and over and over and over and so on, and they still keep doing whatever it is they are told not to. If after all that explaining they still don't listen and don't get it then only one option remains.
This is more a question of the inaction of the parent than the action of the child. It should not get to the point that they've been told more than once or twice.
For example, with my own children, if I've told them twice and they still persist, I give them a count to three, if they stop on one, there is not repercussion, if they stop on two there is a mild punishment, if they let me go to three, there is a severe (in their terms), punishment. I very rarely get to three, and only sometimes get to two.
The point is, that I don't hit them, I never have and neither has my wife and they are very well behaved.
My own upbringing was not so pleasant, my Mother was quite brutal in punishment, and my Father was always working, I've been beaten badly many times once with a frying pan, my sister and brothers all have had the same upbringings and we all have anger issues, I've sought help, thankfully before my children were born, my siblings haven't fared so well.
Nonviolent means don't always work (as people differ, so do children). The example I had in mind came after some nonviolent punishments and lots and lots of explaining, none of it worked (several days). There was no other option left. Children must learn what is right and what is wrong (simple things) and that they cannot always get what they want. If nothing else works then spanking should do it, if that doesn't work either then... professional help, I guess.
Children learn almost everything from parents... if parents have some idiosyncrasies that aren't exactly "positive" then the children might at one point need some heavier parenting.
But too much physical punishment is wrong. As you say, once grown up, it might result in some issues.
I can't dispute that children differ, but what I do know is that children that act out are generally looking for attention, or are not being occupied properly.
From my personal experience and from what I've read, showing aggression teaches aggression, if you don't have the child in line by the age of three it's going to be difficult to bring them back, it takes perseverance.
Punishing by violent means, a child that will invariably mirror their parents idiosyncrasies, is pretty cruel, it's up to the parent to set a good example, or at least talk to the child about the particular personality trait that they've passed on.
What you are telling the child is, I behave this way, but if you do, I'll hurt you.
I think you should spank your children when they misbehave because once you spank your kid the kid will realize what they have done is wrong and they will try not to do again.
If you don't spank your kid they will keep doing the same wrong thing over and over until you finally spank the kid.
Spanking is not the only way to punish a child. And there are other ways, that aren't violent, that you can teach a child.
I was spanked, but it led to abuse eventually. All it accomplished was making me scared to do ANYTHING for the majority of my childhood. My brother, on the other hand, came out of it with violent anger issues. He thought that hitting was how you dealt with people doing things wrong. And that is exactly what I think it teaches. He, thankfully, got some help and is doing much better. But it still effects both of us. You won't even realize how much it effects you until you start having close relationships outside of your family, or when you start working in the real world.
Spanking is not the only way to punish a child. And there are other ways, that aren't violent, that you can teach a child.
That is true but sometimes spanking does work. I was spanked when I was little and it didn't lead to me to abuse and it didn't make me scared. It told me that my parents loved me and they had to discipline me for what I have done. They don't do it to me now, now they just say your grounded.
Even the Bible tell us to spank our children to save us from hell.
Just because it worked for you, and I think that's for reasons that don't apply to most children, which I'm not going to get into in fear that I'll offend you, it doesn't make it okay. You were lucky. Others of us were not, and I'd rather NOT take that risk on other children. I suffered because of it, it's not right to take that risk.
Please do not bring religion into this. -__- We all know you're the only one who takes the bible as fact. There's no use using it to try to convince anyone on this site of anything.
Just because it worked for you, and I think that's for reasons that don't apply to most children, which I'm not going to get into in fear that I'll offend you, it doesn't make it okay. You were lucky. Others of us were not, and I'd rather NOT take that risk on other children. I suffered because of it, it's not right to take that risk.
I know it doesn't work for everyone, sometimes parents spank kids for no apparent reason and they end up abused and scared like you.
Please do not bring religion into this. -__- We all know you're the only one who takes the bible as fact. There's no use using it to try to convince anyone on this site of anything.
I will if I have to but its true that God put in His word that we must spank our kids.
And God didn't write the bible, remember? So he didn't put anything.
He actually did because He told people what to write down, men did write it but through God who spoke through them.
Another thing you said that I won't convince anyone on this site. I will convince you and every non-believer once Jesus Christ comes back for His Second Coming then you will be convinced and everyone will see Him coming through the clouds then you will know that I was right.
He actually did because He told people what to write down, men did write it but through God who spoke through them.
And your proof of this would be where?
Another thing you said that I won't convince anyone on this site. I will convince you and every non-believer once Jesus Christ comes back for His Second Coming then you will be convinced and everyone will see Him coming through the clouds then you will know that I was right.
That wouldn't be YOU convincing anyone, that would be your God doing the convincing. And by then it'd be irrelevant anyway. it'd be too late for me. lol
Hebrews 1:1-2: God who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in theses last days spoken to us by His Son.
This is the reason you won most clueless, and it's irritating because you can't see why.
Obviously you didn't read what ChuckHades said He said that I don't know a jack about my own religion when I do know a lot about what I believe in. He doesn't know how much research I have done to get the knowledge I have for Christianity.
How does that have to do with being most clueless?
I did read what he said, and I do not agree with him. You know about Christianity, but why to believe it is where you're clueless.
And you keep avoiding arguing back when you have no where to go. You dropped the point of the debate instead of continuing your stand. And even here, instead of trying to prove me wrong you just gave up. Proving that you can't make your point.
Spanking without telling them what for has only negative effect, for both sides. Not to mention it is not always necessary to spank (there are other and better methods that usually work), spanking is the last resort and should be used only when absolutely necessary.
My parents when I was little told me what I got spanking for and it taught me a huge lesson and now I don't do those kinds of stuff anymore that I used to do.
Yes their are better solutions to discipline your children but I am going to go with God's way of doing it because he told us in His word that parents must spank their kids.
Yes their are better solutions to discipline your children but I am going to go with God's way of doing it because he told us in His word that parents must spank their kids.
That is weak, so very weak. Please, instead of referring to an ancient book that has techniques outdated by millenniums, think with your own mind. If that is not good enough then there are good articles and materials to learn how to raise your children well, written by professionals and people experienced with children. Basing your raising techniques on an old and stupid book that says it is okay to stone your children to death is simply wrong.
Seriously. If you intend to raise your children based on that old book then I honestly hope that you die (that someone kills you) before you have the chance of having children. I'm not joking at all, what you said up there simply tops all your previous nonsense.
If your children lie to you you also stone them to death? If you don't do that then you are defying God, those are the rules you follow.
That is weak, so very weak. Please, instead of referring to an ancient book that has techniques outdated by millenniums, think with your own mind. If that is not good enough then there are good articles and materials to learn how to raise your children well, written by professionals and people experienced with children. Basing your raising techniques on an old and stupid book that says it is okay to stone your children to death is simply wrong.
No you got mixed up between Judaism and Christianity. I believe in Christianity and Christianity has nothing to do with stoning your children to death but its in the Bible and the Old Testament was the history of the Jewish people and prophecy of the coming Messiah and the New Testament (which I go by) teaches about Jesus dying for ours sin, His principles, how Christians should live, and Him returning to earth as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
Seriously. If you intend to raise your children based on that old book then I honestly hope that you die (that someone kills you) before you have the chance of having children. I'm not joking at all, what you said up there simply tops all your previous nonsense.
I am sorry that you are so upset at my views and just because you don't like my views doesn't mean that someone should kill me over what I said about how I am going to parent my children.
That's just like saying what's your favorite soft drink and you say, you like Pepsi and I like Coke, so are you going to wish I was killed because I like a different soft drink then you do or you like something else that I don't?
If your children lie to you you also stone them to death? If you don't do that then you are defying God, those are the rules you follow.
I am not a Jew! I am a Christian! Christians don't go by those laws those laws are for the Jewish people and I told you in my first point the purpose of the Old Testament and New.
I am in favor of spanking under certain circumstances, but there is a broad line between a spanking and a beating- not a fine one, and it's important not only to not cross that line, but not to touch it.
A properly delivered spanking causes discomfort, but not pain; only the hand should be used, and not on bare skin.
Discomfort does not engender fear in the child the way that pain does, but still acts as a deterrent to the behaviour and communicates the disapproval- and can be delivered more quickly and effectively than most other forms of punishment. Of course, it must be accompanied with an explanation of specifically what behaviour was unacceptable, as well as why it is unacceptable; alternatives should be offered where applicable as well.
The key thing to remember is not to punish children out of anger; get into that habit and even the intent to cause discomfort will often inflict pain, and it's very likely that escalation will continue.
A properly delivered spanking that causes discomfort and not pain is both more effective and less potentially damaging to the childs psyche than most other forms of punishment, such as isolation (time out).
Violence begets violence, children as all humans learn by imitation, if you teach your child that aggression is the way to deal with those that don't do what you want, or do something you don't want, then this is what they'll do.
Violence should not be the accepted reaction, it should only be the last resort of self-defense.
I'm on this side for one reason. When I was a child spanking eventually turned into abuse. Some people don't have the self-control to stop at just a little. Parents start spanking then one day the child does something that really just pisses them off and go too hard. That's what happened to me, all it accomplished was making me too scared to do anything. And it still effects me to this day. It didn't teach me the difference between right and wrong, all it did was made me scared to do anything.
Though I do think it's okay to kind of slap a little child's hand when they're doing something wrong and are too young to discuss what they did wrong, but I don't think it should be that way for long.
Spank a children just causes trauma, and trauma is a strong negative factor in the personality formation of the individual. To punish, just deprive the kid of some things that he/she likes to do, like: go out, play with toys, watch TV, etc.
spanking children is very bad as, after spanking, the child would have fear of the parent. The child would be afraid of asking the most simplest of things, such as ice cream. The parent has to tell the bad about doing that action and say it nicely.
I guess, for me, you have to examine what the desired result of spanking a child is. Most people say it is "to teach them right from wrong." I think the truth, however, is that spanking is the quickest and easiest way to get a child (or pet) to stop doing something you don't want them doing. It is the easy way out. It is lazy. It also does nothing to teach right from wrong.
Physical punishment is one of, if not the most ineffective methods for teaching humans right and wrong (especially children). It may seem effective, particularly with animals and pets, but because humans tend to have a much different thought process than most animals, the result is not ideal.
What inevitably happens, is the child comes away thinking something along the lines of "My parents disapprove of this action. My parents will beat me if they become aware of my performing of this action. If my parents are not aware I have performed this action, then I will not be beaten." There is no concept of right and wrong here, only fear of physical punishment, and ways one can avoid it.
What you want them to be thinking is something more like "I disapprove of this action. It does not matter if my parents (or anyone else) become aware of my performing of this action, because I am aware of my performing of it; and I believe it is wrong."
I feel a child should be taught to think critically from as early an age as possible, and that every attempt to explain the rightness and wrongness of an action should be made. A punishment and reward system may work great with animals, but humans should have a deeper concept of right and wrong. One that relies more on thought, and less on fear.
I have to be honest that spanking children is not good. My parents used to do this alot to me. I understand why but why hurt your own kid? I mean I understand that they need to learn from bad to good but why hurt someone? parents are just tetching them it's good to fight with others which it is not. And they should stop.
when you spank a child you teach them that you are in charge because you are stronger and can hurt them physically not because you are their parent/guardian. They may carry this on to the school yard and could turn on you if they grow to be stronger than you in their teens.
