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 What is the funniest joke you have ever heard? (8)

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What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?

Mine is: shouldn't OCD be CDO? 

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5 points

Got this off another forum:

Three sophisticated high tech thieves are returning to their hideout in their own private jet after a hard days "work".

A few hours into the flight their pilot comes on over the jets intercom. "hey guys, we seem to be carrying a bit too much weight, dump some of the cargo or we will be out of fuel soon" The first thief looks at the other two and says, don't worry guys i got this. he goes to the hatch, opens it, and proceeds to drop various expensive and rare fossils stolen earlier that day.

shortly after the pilot comes on the inter come again, "hey guys, that helped a little bit but we still need to lose some more weight." this time the second thief goes to the hatch, and throws out a large breif case full of fake printed money.

again the pilot comes on the intercome and says " were almost good guys, we just need to shed a little more weight" now the third thife goes to the hatch and throws out a bomb.

soon after they land at thier airport and begin the small walk back to their hide out. soon they see a man crying and holding his head as if he has been hurt, and they ask him. "what happened to you?" the man replies "god hates me! he threw stones at me from the sky!"

continuing on their way they soon run into another man, this one smileing, grinning and happy as can be. "what happened to you?" they ask him, and the man replies. " god loves me! he just threw a million dollars at me from the sky!"

just before they reach their hideout they run into a third man. this time the man is laughing histerically, seemingly without control. "what happened to you?" they ask, and the man replies erupting with laughter "I DONT KNOW! BUT I FARTED AND THE HOUSE BEHIDE ME BLEW UP!"

2 points

Why did the Pirate wear a paper towel on his head?

Because he had Bounty on it.

What do you call seagull that lives by the bay?

A bay gull.

1 point

lol heres one I heard from facebook.

I call my penis Batman.

Girls love it when The Dark Knight rises.

Mine is: shouldn't OCD be CDO?

I don't get it. Is the point that people with OCD need to alphabetize everything?

1 point

People with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) have an obsession with order and perfection.

I like the one where the Chinese guy jumps out and yells "Supplies!"

1 point

Three men work at a construction sight, and they look out from the top of a beam while opening their lunches.They are about three stories high. The first man takes out chicken. He groans loudly, saying, " I have gotten chicken EVERY day for the past ten years. If I get chicken one more day, I will jump off this beam." The next man takes out his lunch, and sees he got chicken. He groans loudly and proclaims he will jump off the beam if he gets chicken one more time. The third man takes out his lunch, and sees he got chicken. He groans and says the same thing the other men say, that he will jump off the beam if he gets chicken one more time. The next day the men climb the beam and see what they got. The first name got chicken. He sticks to his word and jumps off the beam. He is immediately killed. The next man sees he has gotten chicken. He jumps off the beam and is killed. The third man, lo and behold, has gotten chicken. He jumps off the beam and is killed. A few days later, at the funeral, the wife of the first man cries, "If only I had known he didn't like chicken, I would have packed him something different!" The wife of the second man says the same thing. Everyone waits for the wife of the third man's speech. She says, "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch!" I found this on a website and do not take any credit for this joke.