Over 50% of both men and women have had sex outside of their marriage. We have an incredibly sexualized culture. Monogamy will not go back in its box. Rather than trying to pretend, we need to create new structures that recognize our actual behaviors. Once we do this, people can negotiate behaviors that are more realistic.

monogomy is something that should be important in modern day marriages but our behaviours are leading us more and more to not get married. it is simpler to have kids etc. without the binding contract of marriage. it is then easier to split up, as in you dont have the worries of divorce. almost every marriage has had at least one half of the relationship have an affair.

It is my view that marriage is a formal promise between two individuals to go through life with one another in whatever manner they agree upon. The fulfillment of this pact relies on both individuals' integrity. If two people decide to get married, and they both agree upon terms that allow for extramarital affairs, they are remaining faithful to their promise. To each his own, as long as the terms are clearly defined beforehand.

However, most marriages seem to operate under the premise that sexual relations will be exclusive. If these conditions are not met, then they have violated their own promise, and compromised their personal integrity.

I cannot personally define what marriage should be, as it is a contract between two individual people who may or may not share my ideas and values. It seems to follow that if you make a promise, you should keep it. In this sense, of course marital monogamy is necessary, if that's what you've agreed to. It's not outdated, it is simply the preferred choice. It's up to an individual to live up to it, or negotiate another way.

As far as marriage itself goes, I believe that it is a bit of an outdated institution. Besides being a symbol of loyalty/affection, it originally served to secure property, provide a stable environment for offspring, ensure financial security for women, and lend legitimacy to a sexual union by making the promise publicly.

In our society, these reasons aren't so compelling anymore. Dowries are long gone. People can have sex without producing children by using contraceptives. Women don't rely on men for their livelihood, and both sexes can do a decent job as a single parent. "Fornication!" isn't punishable by death or scarlet letter. All that we have left is that public promise, and the symbol of affection. Does that reflect well on a person's ability to keep his/her word, that they need to sign a contract in order to prove faithfulness? Why isn't a verbal agreement enough?

I'm gay, I'm in a nearly two year relationship; and god knows my eyes wander. The thing is though, Marital monogamy can only work if the two people actually love each other. You've got to actually be dedicated to your partner; know that they are who you want to be with for the rest of your life; and know that they are just as dedicated to you as you are to them.

I am not surprised by the failure rate of marriages and the high numbers of people found cheating. People are rather isolated, selfish, emotionally closed-off, dishonest, and irrational.

It's bizarre to me, but people often get married for all the wrong reasons; financial security, a child in need of raising, wanting to provide a mother or father "figure" (because children go insane if they have only one parent). People will go into relationships lying to each other, pretending they are someone they are not, and then acting surprised when things don't work out.

I myself have made the mistake of going into a relationship hoping to change the other person; trying desperately to "make things work". That isn't how relationships are supposed to work out.

If people were more honest with each other and themselves we'd probably see a higher success rate. Otherwise, we could always copy off of "freer" cultures and embrace a loose monogamy where some sexual indiscretion is acceptable to both parties.

Why doesn't this work anymore? Because consumers just can not help but indulge themselves at nearly any cost.

Show some integrity, America.