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I looked out my kitchen window and saw five brown chickens in my back yard and I was all, WTF? My neighbor's chickens got loose and my other neighbor's dog was going nuts so I attempted to wrangle the chickens back to their yard.... yeah, wrangling chickens is impossible, those fuckers went every different direction. I just gave up and now they're wandering around in the woods behind my house. FML
STFU! I had my pool filled in two years ago but some drunken friend of mine used to jump off the second story of my house several times... once he came very close to hitting the diving board. (but he didn't jump head first yo)
After work, I would drive at 120 MPH in the wee hours of the morning in order to induce an adrenaline rush that would keep me awake so that I wouldn't get into a horrible automobile accident. ;)
I used to work for a company that offered the thrill of bungee jumping and this chic changed her mind at the last minute and she grabbed onto the edge and was just dangling there. I reacted quickly and grabbed her wrists and started pulling her up. Our eyes met and I said, "Long live the king." and let go of her ;)
Uwah! I managed to sew my top to my arm and have a series of little holes from where I had to rip it free. It looks like how in gangster films people have little scars on their arms from injecting drugs. Would "I swear I'm innocent, officer! I sewed myself to my top!" cut it, or should I wear long sleeves?
I'm not domestic. Sewing and weaving are my only 'soft' hobbies. At anything else- cooking, cleaning, I fail in such an epic way that you wouldn't think it possible. I still don't understand washing machines and I forget about food and let it burn. I can't use a sewing machine either... and still sew myself to things by hand! But the stitches are neat, at least.
I hope you are either rich, so that you can afford to have someone do all of those things for you, or that you are great in bed so that you can marry a man rich enough to pay for someone to do all of those things for you ;)
I met this wonderful girl at my friend's sister's funeral but she left before I had a chance to ask her for her phone number in order to ask her out so I killed my friend in the hopes that she would attend his funeral and I would thus get a second chance ;)
Godammit! This is our first CD baby, I was going to do a whole betting on the sex thing debate.... (you know, like they were doing over that royal baby) okay, when the due date is close let me know and we'll all bet on the day of birth.
Omg sorry .. you should have told me that, hahaha :D But you can still bet. The doctor said the chance of it being a girl is 85%.
And someone told me that when they say it is a boy, it usually is (because they can see a penis) But with girls there is no special characteristics, so if they can't see a penis they assume it is a girl - but the penis can be hidden by a leg or it .. can be small or something. So the chance of it being a boy is still there.
But this is just something I've heard, I don't know if it's true.
No sorry, I don't think it is right to put pictures on the internet of someone, unless they accept it. And a baby is not developed enough to decide whether they want their pictures on the internet or not. I hope you understand :)
No way. It's beautiful. It's not going to ruin your life, it will enrich your life. Will you breast feed? I'd like to persuade you into breast feeding if you don't already plan to. Stick it on the nipple as early as possible and make sure no one sticks a bottle in it's mouth first.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world" ~ I. Dunno
Don't get me wrong. I am excited and I know this will have a happy ending, but it is still crazy. I am 18 for God's sake. It is beautiful and everything, but that is not the opposite of crazy ;)
Of course I will breast feed. Women who don't breastfeed disgust me, literally. They fill their babies with stuff they can naturally get .. and it is just not me.
This is the most awesome thing ever...embrace it. Just because you are only 18 doesn't mean you can't handle this gracefully. What would have been crazy would be for you to pass up the opportunity to experience motherhood. As experiences go, this IS THE ONE not to miss. And you don't know for sure, maybe something could happen and you wouldn't get the opportunity again. Life is short and often unpredictable. There are advantages and disadvantages to having the baby at 18 or 28 but you have a family that looks at this as a blessing right? You are SO fortunate.
I think about how many women who get pregnant are met with the attitude like something bad has happened to them, and how this must effect them psychologically and it pisses me off frankly. My little sis had a baby at 15 and I can only wonder how differently things would have been for her if the whole family had a celebration when we found out she was pregnant instead of playing lock-step to the tune of the fucked up propaganda that early motherhood is terrible. Fuck those people who can't see beauty.
"The perception of beauty is a moral test" ~Thoreau
I remember I was sick one day and Lizzie had pulled a prank on me. So I sneezed in her face and coughed on her. (Surprisingly she didn't get sick.) So I decided to get everybody sick. I tried to sneeze on her bird but it flew and pooped on my face. So I ran around the house with a broom and tried to kill the bird and Lizzie saw me and grabbed her bird. I forgot I was wearing a robe and it fell off while I was trying to get the bird while I had poop on my face. My family just awkwardly left the room.
No, I came up with it when I was chasing goddam chickens around my backyard. (although I did take an unproductive dump a few minutes earlier... unproductive in that I didn't come up with any ideas for debates, not that I didn't create a liberal, because I did)
No. And there's always some shit going down in my yard! The little girl who lives next door has a bunny and it's always under my car. I didn't want to run the damn thing over so I tried to shoo it out with a shovel. When I looked up the girl was standing there with her jaw on the ground and her eyes bulging out... I'm pretty sure she told her mother I was trying to kill it. FML
I've done loads of crazy shit normally for dares or bets, I'm known as someone you don't dare to do something unless your serious cos I don't refuse dares, I've run down the road naked a few times, spent the night in a nightclub in thigh length high heeled boots, borrowed a flag from a golf course whilst dressed as a Sheikh, stripped at a party to a roomful of strangers, eaten live bugs as the warm up act for my mates band, pole danced on a tube train whilst dressed as Satan and that's all I'm admitting to at the moment
spent the night in a nightclub in thigh length high heeled boots, stripped at a party to a roomful of strangers, pole danced on a tube train whilst dressed as Satan
I've got a list a mile long but the absolute craziest...in terms of stupid......thing I have ever done was sticking 22 rounds in to the ends of straws and throwing them off the top of a building into a parking lot.
DISCLAIMER THIS IS NOT A COOL OR FUNNY THING TO DO AND YOU COULD VERY LIKELY END UP HURTING SOMEONE AND GOING TO JAIL FOR A LONG TIME IF YOU TRY THIS. DO NOT TRY THIS
Ha! Caught you motherfucker! I've been working on this case undercover for a while now and you've finally admitted to it... unless, of course you were already caught... in which case, this joke doesn't work... so, nevermind... but seriously, wtf? Lol
Statute of limitation :) I'm talking about stuff I did long ago in my wild days 13-19
I got in my share of trouble. I have a "less crazy" thing I did get caught for as a juvenile (damn snitches!) that is actually a capital offense. I was good at not looking devious and being given second chances but I was locked up for every birthday (though I was in and out of correctional facilities) from 14-19 I had zero respect for other peoples property, and never felt the slightest bit guilty for the things I did (well maybe a couple of times) I was a flat out crook until about age 19
As soon as I got off chemotherapy, I just decided I was going to do whatever I could get away with.
I am not quite the risk taker I once was. I am boring now :)
No I do not act like that. I am just saying to deal with your own sin before you deal with that from other people. If you wish to discuss this further, send me a debate. I do not wanna make Hellno mad.
I was so afraid that terrorists would put LSD into our water supply in order to freak everyone out to the point that they would jump off buildings that I started building up my resistance to the stuff ;)
In realizing this is about wild stories, I have another.
I was sitting at a pool part (can't swim) watching all of the other people who can enjoying the slide, in the deep part. I didn't want to just watch, so I went and tried the slide....knowing I can't swim.
In high school my friend and I got so drunk that he passed out. So I drove him home so that he wouldn't be late for dinner and get in trouble. I don't remember driving but he got in trouble for being drunk and I ended up throwing up bile because I had nothing to eat and my stomach was empty ;)
I once had sex with a real live girl but just before I came I had to put the binoculars down so that I could grab some tissues so I never got see the expression on her face ;)
I had 2 dogs. One was named damit and the other one was named Jesus Christ. I would say stuff like, Damit sit down! And Jesus Christ stop making so much noise! ;)
I'm no good at story telling...so yeah..I somehow ended up smashing mailboxes with some of my friends...with an ax. So we are driving around and see a huge mailbox...my friend tells me it's my turn...so i get out of the car reluctantly...i hit the mailbox once...barley left a dent...soo i wanted to hit again...before i had a chance to hit it i noticed my friends driving off...so i take off at full speed after them(around 20mph cuz i got dat nigga speed) and as i reach the car my friend slams on the break and i crash into the door i left open...knocking me flat on my back...i blacked out for a split second, but hurriedly hopped into the car. The whole right side of my body was numb...
This was in a small town were there was absolutely nothing fun for teens to do and filled with your stereotypical red-necks.....so yeah
I've done a lot of crazy things in my short life time.... I think the craziest thing, though, that we did was to have a mop fight with one another...... Oh... and they were dowsed in kerosine and on fire.... while on an abandoned road with forests on both of our sides.... they were also stolen mops... and then some lady decided to try and call the cops on us... hahahaha we just ran away and lit our kerosine container on fire.
And that one time we went drifting in a parking lot, getting up to 80 mph, and not wearing seat belts... with the windows down.... I almost died that time to be completely honest.
I was watching cable Tv and got depressed so I went and took karate,then I wanted to use my karate,After that I turned into the fist of goodness,then I ran along rooftops.After I ran along rooftops I fell into a dinner party. :D