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Debate Info

53
80
never sometimes
Debate Score:133
Arguments:90
Total Votes:148
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Argument Ratio

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 never (41)
 
 sometimes (51)

Debate Creator

skb11(92) pic



Do parents need to read their child's diary in order to know them better?

never

Side Score: 53
VS.

sometimes

Side Score: 80
5 points

No. That is a violation of privacy rights .

Side: never
2 points

The only time you will have privacy in my house is if you are taking a bath or changing clothes. Think this way Ismaila and yes this is a question I want you to answer at the best of your ability. What if your child was writing in her dairy saying how much Hell her life was in (figuratively speaking) and that she was going to kill her self someday. She doesn't say the day that she will do it but she was going to do it. The day came where she indeed killed herself. Then you didn't know why she did it and days later you then found her dairy in her room hidden and read it (too late) then found where she wrote that she would kill herself. Now I want the God honest truth from you wouldn't you feel really bad that she didn't come to you telling you how she really felt about life so you could have helped her sooner? See RELATIONSHIPS with your children are so important I can't stress it enough. Children aren't dumb at all they take a lot of things seriously that could even cost them their own young life.

Side: sometimes
Sitara(11080) Disputed
2 points

Parents do not own their children. Children have rights .

Side: never

lol first off, i love how you kept saying dairy. ha ha. :D

I agree with you. But then again, what if the child truly wants to die? But then i guess that is not possible because that go against the fact of being human. No human wants to die.

Side: sometimes
Qweerty650(28) Disputed
1 point

Those things do sometimes happen, but we need to examine why children in those situations don’t come forward to their parents before taking their life. It is usually because they do not trust their parents. They are less likely to trust their parents after such a massive violation of trust as this. This makes it less likely for that child to come talk to their parents in the future. It drives a wedge between them which means these issues are more likely to result in harm because the child is now even less likely to seek help. It is a tragedy that these situations occur but they won’t be stopped by parents peeking into diaries, and in the long run the loss of trust and the loss of a connection between parent and child as a result of that will end up doing more harm than good.

I, personally, would feel extremely bad that my child didn’t tell me about their situation themselves. That becomes more common if I start peeking into my child’s diaries.

Side: never
Saurbaby(5581) Disputed
1 point

Even if the parent is considered that their child is doing drugs, about to commit suicide, or something similar that needs to be handled?

I seriously believe that the parent has a right to take care of their child before the child has the right of privacy.

But only for extreme cases, otherwise you're right, it's just an invasion of privacy, and all trust would be lost from the child.

Side: sometimes
Sitara(11080) Disputed
1 point

Children have rights .

Side: never
1 point

I thought about it and you have a point .

Side: sometimes
4 points

Mmm... dairy...

Anyway, I don't see what one would gain from it. Doodles of pigs and fairy's aren't very beneficial, at least I don't think they are. Just sit a child down and talk to them if you're worried.

Side: never
1 point

The purpose of a diary is that it is a personal journal. When you steal away the 'personal' part of that, all you get is distrust and resent from your child. Have a conversation with them if you want to know them better.

Side: never
1 point

To know your kids better is actually pretty easy. Talk to them and respect them. If you do this they will respect you and talk to you.

Side: never
1 point

in my opinion, no. every person should have their personal space. especcially teenagers, because it is hard to talk about manay teenage problems with parents.

Side: never
1 point

If they want to intrude on their childs life. fine. read their diary. If the parent thinks their kid hasn't told them something,either they're paranoid or their kid hasn't told them something. But if it is the second option, the parent hasn't created a safe environment for the child to tell them. Every person has different versions of them. The school version, professional version, at home version. You don't always act like the same person all the time for a reason. Besides, do your parents really need to know who you have a crush on, etc?

Side: never

If a parent can't get to know their child without reading into their private matters, then the parent has made a few mistakes in how they communicate with their child.

Side: never
1 point

yes, i absolutely agree with your opinion. if parents have some problems, they should try another ways to communicate with their child.

Side: never
1 point

You mean diary?

Sure, they could probably learn a lot about their child by reading their personal, private thoughts, but a good parent wouldn't do that. A good parent would leave their child's privacy with the child and, if by doing so the parent feels less in touch with its child, then so be it.

Side: never
1 point

well, my mom kind of did that. parents should never ,ever do that to their children. they should have some trust on their kids. i was really furious when i found out that my mom read my personal diary. it's not appropriate. any child would say how they feel if parents ask them as a friend... not as a parent.. right???

Side: never
1 point

right. i think that parent should speak with their children as a friend sometimes. never parents should not read diaries. it is not fair.

Side: never
1 point

Children's need their personal space, a way to vent feelings. A parent reading a childs diary is an ENORMOUS violation of privacy and trust. My mother read my diary when i was 11 and it hurt our relationship. So I do not advise this

Side: never
1 point

Personally, I think diaries are a form of privacy to store your personal details. If my parents were to read mine, I guess, I'll flare up. To me, parents just have to spend more time to know what their children are thinking nowadays.

In this 21st century, I think children are more open to discussion. Children will tend to speak what they are suppose to say and the rest, will be kept secret. Because they don't want anyone to know, they then write their thoughts out in a diary.

In addition, I think it's really rude of parents (no offense) to intrude into their children's privacy just to get to know them better. If that's the case, then I think the problem actually lies with the parents as the parents are not doing the job well enough to get their children to interact with them.

Side: never
1 point

No because a diary is there place of privacy, anything that a child wants there parent to know they will tell them. Parents secretly snooping in a child's diary may give them unwanted information.

Side: never
1 point

Two points: that diaries have an important function that only works when they are private, and that trust between parent and child is more important than any information a parent might gain.

Diaries are important for children as a means of organizing abstract thoughts and feelings into concrete language. For a child coming to terms with their own sexuality, with doubts about their faith, with the moral issues of activities they undertake (like using substances), it is important they be able to do that as part of the process of personally understanding those issues. This process is harmed when parents feel it is ok to peek into the diary because it makes the child less likely to keep one, or to be completely honest within one. If a child discovers their diary was read by a parent, or a friend’s diary was read by their parent, or just thinks that this is something their parents are likely to do, then a beneficial process is harmed. Diaries must be kept sacred, inviolable, private.

The information a parent gets from this diary will not help their child. If a child is into drugs, and a parent forces a confrontation based on discovering this in a diary, that won’t help. In fact, it could be harmful. For anyone to be willing to accept help for an addiction they have to be able to trust the person they seek help from. This is why psychiatrists and AA and rehab centres have such strict privacy controls, because if they break a patient’s confidence that patient will never engage with the program and are then unable to be helped. A child won’t accept help from a parent if that child feels that parent is their enemy, which is what will happen when parents get this information from a diary. A child/teenager/whatever must know they can trust their parent and the support of that parent completely or they will never accept that help. Diaries cannot be used for the source of this information.

This information can’t help the child, and making them unable to trust their parent, or unwilling to write in a diary out of fear, will make it harder for them to come to the realization that they need help.

Side: never
1 point

Those things do sometimes happen, but we need to examine why children in those situations don’t come forward to their parents before taking their life. It is usually because they do not trust their parents. They are less likely to trust their parents after such a massive violation of trust as this. This makes it less likely for that child to come talk to their parents in the future. It drives a wedge between them which means these issues are more likely to result in harm because the child is now even less likely to seek help. It is a tragedy that these situations occur but they won’t be stopped by parents peeking into diaries, and in the long run the loss of trust and the loss of a connection between parent and child as a result of that will end up doing more harm than good.

I, personally, would feel extremely bad that my child didn’t tell me about their situation themselves. That becomes more common if I start peeking into my child’s diaries.

Side: never
1 point

Even if the parent is considered that their child is doing drugs, about to commit suicide, or something similar that needs to be handled?

I seriously believe that the parent has a right to take care of their child before the child has the right of privacy.

But only for extreme cases, otherwise you're right, it's just an invasion of privacy, and all trust would be lost from the child.

Side: never

The parents should not read the diaries. They should respect their child's privacy.

Side: never
3 points

*DO parents need to read their child's DIARY in order to know them better?

--------------------------------

They can't read dairy lol

But anyway, I think it's necessary if the parent is concerned that the child is in danger, or partaking in something that is harmful. Otherwise a parent shouldn't, they just lose all trust.

Side: sometimes
3 points

This is disgusting. I would never look at the excrement remains of my child's dairy intake, LET ALONE TRY TO READ THEM! Disgusting...

Side: sometimes
3 points

I am switching sides. Silas has convinced me. If the child is into something bad like drugs, the parent or parents need to know.

Side: sometimes

I would say yes because the child would be living under my roof and therefore there will be no secrets because secrets can destroy you.

Side: sometimes
BlackSheep(203) Disputed
2 points

Like the secret of you reading their Diary?

Kids can keep secrets without a book. If you want to know your kids talk to them, respect them and show them they can trust you.

Side: never

I know right it's best for them to come talk to me instead of writing it down in a temporarily book. Dairy and other things on this Earth are like sand castle they won't last long relationships are way more important.

Side: never
Sitara(11080) Disputed
1 point

Parents do not own their children .

Side: never
WaffleIron(51) Disputed
2 points

He never said parents own children. Carefully look over his words. You will not see that sentence there at all. He simply mentioned that if a child lived under his roof he would not want secrets. Sounds more like he owns the roof than what's under it.

Side: sometimes
1 point

I know what you mean but I won't suppose you because you clearly didn't explain your answer so others can understand.

Side: sometimes
1 point

if you suck at being a parent and havent instilled trust and respect and good reasoning skills in your children, yes you will need to violate their privacy and commit this kind of injustice. however you should also realize that you should not have had children because it is obvious that you were not ready to have them by your apparent failure.

Side: sometimes

I would say tat it would be a violation of privacy, but the parents would get to know what their child really feels or is going through. but i bet there are better ways to know your child.

Side: sometimes

For the most part, the clear answer is only sometimes in unusual behavior change or mood.

Side: sometimes

It will break my heart if my child resents me but if your child is not willing to express his/her feelings or thoughts, then what is best is to read their diary.

Side: sometimes
1 point

I suppose it depends on circumstances at that time but if you don't think you're kids secretly killing himself/herself behind your back, than their's probably no need to check their daily thoughts. Of course the fact that you need to read the diary really shows how well you know the kid.

Side: sometimes
1 point

I can admit only one situation where it can be done: if you really see that a child is something very serious and not, as it is closed for any reason from you. Of course, it's better if you could establish a trust relationship. But not all that easy in life. There are such cases, that is scary: different sects, drugs, unrequited love, humiliation is different. And teenagers are vulnerable and closed. I wonder how would it feel to parents, all of which are correct, do not read, and took the child and with a committed? And could have been avoided .... You just have to be very careful in any case not to talk to them about the read, but just try to correct the situation. And if all goes well with the child, then of course it is not necessary to climb in his life. Wants to - he will tell

Side: sometimes
1 point

I support the idea to read the diaries of their children! No matter how unethical accused parents, the "penny price" for failing to find a common language and all that, but it should be read. Another question is how you would have acquired knowledge? - Here also think about the ethics and all the small stuff, to my knowledge does not make things worse.

Side: sometimes