If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? :P

"That shirt is very becoming on you.

Then again, if I were on you I would be coming too."

...it was funny in high school anyway :)

Is that material felt? (as I rub it and her) Well, now it is ;)

Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Well..., I guess a blow job is out of the question."

okay, so here's the deal: one of my best friends had a sudden urge to make a story on fictionpress, and she wanted to use funny pick-up lines for chapter titles.

so what's the funniest you've ever heard or dished out ?

i'm not gonna put all the funny ones i've heard (especially cuz the funniest ones are rather inappropriate), but here's one:

"hi, my name is [name], but you can call me tonight."

let me know yours. ;P

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

"Hi. Are those space pants you're wearing? Because that a$$ is out of this world!"

Catch her eye and and aproach her. When you get there say, "I was trying to think of a pick up line on my way here but...., I got nothing." and smile.

heard this a fair bit: my socks are having a party and your pants are invited down

"excuse me miss, but do you happen to raise chickens, because you sure know how to raise a cock."

"Excuse me, miss... May I taste you?"

I must be asleep cause you're the woman of my dreams.

Is it hot in here or is it you?

Guy: (walks up to random girl) Hey baby.

Girl: Excuse me?

Guy: It's me! from last night! remember?

Girl: I have no idea who you are. . .

Guy: Remember? You got drunk and I had my way with you.

Girl: What are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life!

Guy: Alright, well if you don't remember me then I'll let you be.

Girl: Thank you.

Guy: (takes off ear-piece for his cell phone and looks at the girl) Hey. Wanna go out some time?

:p

heard: are you a fine? [what], cos u got FINE written all over you

Heard: baby, somebody better call god, cos he's missing an angel

heard: excuse me, i think you have something in your eye, nope, its just a sparkle

Is that a mirror in your pocket, cause I can definitely see myself in your pants

How about some fries with that shake?