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Debate Score:364
Arguments:108
Total Votes:426
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funniest pick-up lines you ever heard.

haha this should be interesting.

okay, so here's the deal: one of my best friends had a sudden urge to make a story on fictionpress, and she wanted to use funny pick-up lines for chapter titles.

so what's the funniest you've ever heard or dished out ?

Add New Argument
17 points

If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? :P

2 points

Of course not! ;p

1 point

Oh my goodness I most certainly would! Almost as bad as mine: "Nice shirt. Let's fuck." Right to the point, hmm?

1 point

hey im back form iraq and i got a weapon of mass destruction in my pants :)

xander(438) Disputed
1 point

I speak on behalf of the ladies: my precious flower does NOT enjoy being destroyed. I wonder if there are people upon whom that would work?

1 point

Yes indeed. ;)

1 point

Yes. ;)

13 points

"That shirt is very becoming on you.

Then again, if I were on you I would be coming too."

...it was funny in high school anyway :)

Side: Becoming
3 points

haha that IS pretty funny.

Side: Becoming
11 points

Is that material felt? (as I rub it and her) Well, now it is ;)

Side: Becoming

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

Side: Becoming

Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Well..., I guess a blow job is out of the question."

Side: Becoming
2 points

Now that is HILARIOUS!!!!

Side: Becoming
2 points

lol...this rather shy male virgin of about thirty-five starts worrying he will die before he has sex,So he decides to head for a bar to settle his nerves and hopes of picking up a willing lady to break him in.when he arrives the bar is already alive and buzzing.he seats himself at the bar and orders a drink.he then notices a stunner at the end of the bar smiling in his direction.He blushes and orders himself another drink.A few drinks later he notices the lady is still sitting there and so now with his horn and his dutch courage he decides to make his move.He goes over to her and shouts over the music "excuse me ,would you like to dance" the woman just looks him up and down ,laughs and spits "no thanks" the guy stumbles then straightens himself and says "im sorry,i dont think you heard me right.,i said YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS"

Side: Becoming

Hey baby. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m not a poet, but damn girl, you’re hot!

Side: Becoming
Kyra(20) Disputed
1 point

roses are red violets are blue how would you like it if i came home with you.

Side: Becoming
8 points

okay, so here's the deal: one of my best friends had a sudden urge to make a story on fictionpress, and she wanted to use funny pick-up lines for chapter titles.

so what's the funniest you've ever heard or dished out ?

i'm not gonna put all the funny ones i've heard (especially cuz the funniest ones are rather inappropriate), but here's one:

"hi, my name is [name], but you can call me tonight."

let me know yours. ;P

Side: Becoming
6 points

Just so you know, this is Joe Calvary's dream debate :)

Side: Becoming
3 points

glad to be of service ! :P

Side: Becoming
7 points

"Hi. Are those space pants you're wearing? Because that a$$ is out of this world!"

Side: Becoming
3 points

ahahahaha. niice. ;P

Side: Becoming
6 points

Guy: (walks up to random girl) Hey baby.

Girl: Excuse me?

Guy: It's me! from last night! remember?

Girl: I have no idea who you are. . .

Guy: Remember? You got drunk and I had my way with you.

Girl: What are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life!

Guy: Alright, well if you don't remember me then I'll let you be.

Girl: Thank you.

Guy: (takes off ear-piece for his cell phone and looks at the girl) Hey. Wanna go out some time?

:p

Side: Becoming
2 points

lol!!!!! i love it so much lol!

Side: Becoming
1 point

i really really like this one..................................... nice way to cover the rejection.

Side: Becoming
5 points

Is that a mirror in your pocket, cause I can definitely see myself in your pants

Side: Mirror

Is it hot in here or is it you?

Side: Mirror

Catch her eye and and aproach her. When you get there say, "I was trying to think of a pick up line on my way here but...., I got nothing." and smile.

Side: Mirror
5 points

my love for you is like diarrhea i just cant hold it in

Side: Mirror
6 points

OMG i'm definitely sending this one off. You'll get the credit though I promise. [:

Side: Mirror
1 point

ok om me ill give ya my name for the book

Side: Mirror
3 points

It's absolutely beautiful.

Side: Mirror
3 points

Wow, that is awesome. I'll try that next time I'm out (aka tonight) and see how it works!

Side: Mirror
1 point

Haha, this is sooo unromantic. I just thought of one... but it might suck, here goes:

My love is like constipation; once it's in, I just can't let it go.

Side: Mirror
5 points

"excuse me miss, but do you happen to raise chickens, because you sure know how to raise a cock."

Side: Mirror
5 points

"Is that a keg in your pants? (No... why?) Because I'd totally tap that."

And I know a lot of nerdy pick-up lines. Don't judge me.

"If I could be any enzyme I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes."

I wish I could be your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves."

"If I was a hypotenuse, I would lie between your legs."

Side: Mirror
4 points

"Excuse me, miss... May I taste you?"

Side: Taste
4 points

what the eff, someone actually said that ? HAHAHA.

Side: Taste

Did it work? Did you let him taste you?

Side: Taste
2 points

A lady never licks and tells. ;)

Side: Taste

I must be asleep cause you're the woman of my dreams.

Side: Taste
4 points

heard this a fair bit: my socks are having a party and your pants are invited down

Side: Taste
4 points

heard: excuse me, i think you have something in your eye, nope, its just a sparkle

Side: Mirror
3 points

heard: are you a fine? [what], cos u got FINE written all over you

Side: Mirror
5 points

i believe it's "girl, you must be a parking ticket; you got fine written all over you."

lmfao i've literally heard that to my face like 4 times.

Side: Mirror
3 points

Heard: baby, somebody better call god, cos he's missing an angel

Side: Mirror
3 points

Overheard in the hall at a high school:

"If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!"

Side: Fast Food

You look a little ethnic. Do you have some Puerto Rican in you? No? You want some?

Side: Fast Food

How about some fries with that shake?

Side: Fast Food
2 points

Haha, I can see this one backfiring... "What?! Are you saying I'm fat?! Are you trying to make me fat?!" :-)

Side: Fast Food

Man: Hi, how about a 68?

Woman: A 68? What's that?

Man: That's where you give me a blow job and I'll owe you one.

:P

Side: Fast Food

Woman: You don't even know my name!!!

Man: It's "babe", isn't it? :P

Side: Fast Food
2 points

Hey, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

Side: Fast Food

Are you Gillette? Cause you're the best a man can get.

Side: Fast Food

Hey babe, how about you come over here and sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up ;)

Side: Fast Food

Would you have sex with me for a million dollars? Yes? How about $10? What do you mean what kind of girl do I think you are? I thought we already determined that. Now we're hagling over price ;)

Side: Fast Food

are you from tennesee because your the only ten-i-see!

XD.

Side: doublejumper

hey can you pick up that pen for me....slowly? okay, why do i have to have 50 characters?!?!?! this debate IS about dumb jokes!!!lol

Side: doublejumper
2 points

is there a mirror in you pants cause i can see myself in them?

Side: doublejumper
2 points

Haha! This guy once told me:

"Hey, did you eat lucky charms this morning? Coz' you're magically delicious!"

And

"I'm like a polar bear, I tend to break the ice!"

AND

"Are you from Mexico? Coz' you're one HOT tamale!"

I never got that one ====^ T_T

Side: Lucky Charms
2 points

my names pogo...wanna jump on my stick

if we were squirells cud i bust a nut in ur mouth

lets play lion tamer, you open ur mouth and ill give u the meat

Side: Lucky Charms
2 points

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Side: Love At First Sight
2 points

The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Side: Legs
2 points

There's a part in my pants and you're invited!

Also, Joecavalry clearly either gets a whole lot female attention or a whole lot of pepper spray to the face!

Side: Legs
2 points

How 'bout we play Carpenter? First we get hammered, then i Nail you.

Side: Legs
2 points

Here's the funniest pick up line I've ever heared, (Curtesy of http://www.funny-pick-up-lines.com))

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

:)

(Oh, I check out packages... lol!!!)

Side: Legs
2 points

Do you work at UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package.

Do yo work at McDonalds, 'cause, I think your in need of BIG MAC.

I'm so glad I'm not gonna have to deflate you 3 hrs from now...

Side: Legs
2 points

"Life without you is like a broken pencil... Pointless..."

Side: Legs

Limp over to a girl and say, "Excuse miss, but I lost my leg in a car accident and my doctor told me to exercise it. Would you mind dancing with me so that I can get some exercise?" :P

Side: Legs

How ya doin' ?

Side: Legs
duncer(418) Disputed
2 points

joe som of ya pick up lines make me wana cry cuz you wouldent pick up a cold with it lolza!

Side: Legs

Yo homie why you diss me like that dawg?

Side: joe speaks ebonix

Never fear, the Cavalry's here! :P

Side: Cavalry
6 points

uhh, no joe. hahahahaha.

Side: Cavalry

Oh well, it was woth a shot ;)

Side: Cavalry
1 point

nice shoes...wanna fuck?

Side: Cavalry
1 point

i think that dress would look great...on my floor!

Side: Cavalry
1 point

"Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good."

lmfao. i slapped that guy.

Side: Cavalry
1 point

Hey i aint no Fred Flintstone, but i can make your bed rock! ;D

Side: Cavalry
1 point

Hey baby, you dropped something.. MY JAW :O

Side: Cavalry
1 point

Hey, you got something on your chest.. MY EYES.

Side: Cavalry

I once knew this girl called Tiffany. We called her Tiffy. I always wanted to tell her, "Hey Tiffy, you give me a stiffy!" :)

Side: Cavalry

do you believe in love at first sight or do i have to walk by again? roflol

Side: doublejumper

if i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put U and I together!

heheheh

Side: doublejumper

Excuse me, are you cold or are you just happy to see me :)

Side: doublejumper

Mechanic walks over to a gal all covered in grease and says, "Want to go back to my place, I'm prelubed and ready to go."

Side: doublejumper
1 point

Guy: Am I dead angel?

Woman: No why

Guy: Cause this must be heaven

This is the funniest line IVe heard ha.

Side: Lucky Charms
1 point

man- is it true that when you die you go stiff? / woman-yes / man-well i must be dead then.......................;)

Side: Lucky Charms
1 point

If you guys think these are funny you will die from laughing when you read mine, they are all made by me and they are guaranteed never to have been heard before. So go ahead and spread the word around.

http://purpleslinky.com/humor/funniest-pick-up-lines-new-never-heard-before/

Side: funny
1 point

What are the four things that snowflakes and women have in common?

1)They are both all different

2)They are both all beautiful

3)They both can be cold

and 4) they both all melt when they hit my tongue

Side: funny

I'm not a TSA agent but I'll pat you down ;)

Side: funny

Japanese nuclear technician fail:

Wanna see my spent fuel rod?

;)

Side: funny

I had to search my memory for these, though I believe they went.

1. Let's make like Fabric Softener and Snuggle.

2. Take your pants off; stay a while.

Today's word is 'legs'.

Let's go to my place and spread the word.

The second was funny to me at least. :x

Side: funny
1 point

I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy? im putting random things because i have to have 50 characters....

Side: funny
1 point

"You must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night long."

"Are you hurt, because I know you just fell from heaven?"

Side: funny
1 point

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

You don't want to turn this rape into a murder!

Side: funny

Damn girl..., you're hotter than the bottom of a laptop ;)

Side: funny
1 point

This is kinda the opposite of a pick up line, but it's just sooo funny I HAVE to post it.

Did you fall down from Heaven?, cuz it looks like you landed on your face.

Side: funny
1 point

Guy: Hey, would you be interested in going out for a little S&M;later?

Girl: Excuse me?

Guy: You know, Supper and a Movie.

Side: funny
1 point

Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only Ten-I-see.

Side: funny
1 point

u know wut they say bout sticks and stones... well i'll break ur bones with mine.

Side: funny