Hi Dermot,

I see that you strongly oppose overuse of the internet, and your prime excuse is child obesity.

I believe that, with sufficient discussion, parents can teach their kids healthy living habits that they can then use in their own lives. For some, this may seem unattainable, however I know that this worked out fine for me as a child.

I think that you are only looking at the negative as well. Well over half of my high school participates in some form of physical activity, most of them participating in the sports programs we have, while still maintaining interest and activity on the internet.

For some, it may consume their daily lives, however I do think that that is representative of the parents teaching skills (there are exceptions to this, such as kids knowing its not good but being involved in online groups or programs that require extended access. This can be discussed as well.)

Anyways, bottom line, too many limits and "laws" begins to feel authoritarian and overruling, rather than building trust. I know that this is, stereotypically, a very "liberal" thing to do (in reference to "limiting the limits"), however I think that integrating this form of trust is essential to a healthy parent-child relationship in the age of technology.

Oh yeah, definitely agree now.

I happened across it at a very young age, but it didn't have a negative effect on me. If anything, it had a positive effect and allowed me to mature more efficiently. I know this isn't the case for many people, however.

I think that another interesting topic is parents letting their children view acts of terror and violence online. Although I have done fine with it and discovered it at a similar age, I find it interesting that parents see fit for their children to view this before porn. I believe that it has a much longer lasting effect on their mental health and view of the world.

(Don't get me wrong -- if there are discussions about it, just as any other sensitive topic, then it can be okay, but many children accept it as "normal" just as they do with porn without sufficient discussion. For some reason, parents are much more afraid of talking about sexual intercourse than violence, and I think that should say something about our society.)

In response,

I think that your current decision to not snoop around too much is a good one. It builds trust with your child, in my opinion.

However, I also think that there is a point where kids should be allowed to discover that kind of stuff too. If kids grow up believing that it is horrible and bad and they're ignorant of it, then that could result in unintended outcomes. My opinion is that there should be a discussion and, if they can demonstrate maturity online, I don't really mind if they decide to look at that.

As far as the kind of people our kids grow up to be, that's largely in the hands of the parents. Kids tend to adopt many of the actions and beliefs that their parents have, unless they're attempting to be rebellious.