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Breaking up (a personal story and question)
I was recently dating a girl, only went on 3 dates in about three weeks, we both seemed to like one another more and more on each of the three dates and things progress well, introducing me to her friends and keeping in touch frequently. On the third date we slept together. However, on that date, prior to having sex, she told me some things which shocked me and I told her that I had some hesitations about dating because of those things.
At one point in the evening she got serious and told me about her past and what she wanted from a relationship, also saying that she had been raped on two occasions in the past couple years. This night was when things got a bit too serious for me and I told her that i was a little bit shocked by her having been raped and also the talking about how many kids she wants, marriage soon, and having a different ideology.
In spite of my shock, because of mutual sexually attraction, we both allowed things to progress to sex - it was completely mutual and I had even given her the option to go home to her place (to nip sexual likelihood in the bud) rather than come with me and she decided to come to my place. She provided the condom and 'warmed me up' prior to sex, and was entirely agreeable before, during, and after sex.
We were supposed to talk about how I felt about things about a week later but, due to circumstances and a lack of good planning, we were not able to meet up.
We finally talked about things a week later and I told her that I needed to think about things, about wether or not i wanted to pursue the relationship any further.
A week later, I told her that I wanted to stop dating and be friends.
I work an odd schedule so although it is hard to be in touch as frequently as people that have similar schedules do, i tried to communicate with her whenever i could and whenver it seemed prudent (i.e. not in the middle of the night).
When I told her that i didnt want to date anymore, She claimed that i had lied to her about my thoughts and feelings to get her into bed (i didnt do this in the slightest), had been out of touch for days on end (max of 36 hours at any time), and that I was using the fact that she had been raped against her (it wasnt the rape that bothered me so much as how serious things had gotten so soon). When we talked things out she agreed that i didnt lie, and that it was more about the seriousness of things that bothered me.
She then redacted and said that i was holding the fact that she had been raped against her again.
Was what I did in any way a dick move? I was really trying to be straight up with her about things. I told her that because things took a sudden turn toward the serious my emotional response was to turn off - seemed a bit soon to discuss personal history on that level.
it is important to discuss certain things before sex but as far as i am concerned, i only want to know if you are game, on the pill, and disease free (these things seem sufficient to me, not ). In other words i didnt think that her having been raped was necessary, that it was too serious for a 3rd date.
So was I/ am I a dick?