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My true story of a savage journey through the heart of liberal America
We had just crossed the border into Maryland when the blue lights appeared, and the panic truly reared its ugly head. "Oh Jesus Christ, they've found us!" I screamed, dropping my cigarette and waking my wife, who had been napping in the passenger seat. "What the hell are you yelling at?" she said angrily. I was about to tell her to brace herself for me to cut across the median of I-95 and start hightailing back south in a desperate run to get back into Virginia before we were caught… but I stopped short in a moment of confusion, as seven police cruisers screamed past at 120 miles an hour, and I suddenly realized that they weren't after me, they were after someone most likely not doing thirty miles an hour over the speed limit. More, and we'd be seeing helicopters. "Never mind", I said, lighting another cigarette and letting my heart rate settle to a steady level of paranoia. No use telling her that if the ATF had in fact forwarded the information from my paperwork to relocate my class 3 items to the Maryland, Jersey, or God forbid New York Highway Patrol, it would be the goddamn National Guard who'd end up chasing us down like dogs. We had two bolt action rifles, one AR10 in 7.62 NATO, five different handguns, an ammo can half full of Tannerite components, and whole multicolored galaxy of black tips, green tips, red tips, blue tips… and also a pump action shotgun, a couple rimfires, a case of thermite, a box of raw reloading materials and two suppressors. We had everything locked up tight as per the letter of the Firearm Owners Protection Act- a grotesque example of doublespeak if one ever existed- but what really worried me were the suppressors. There is nothing that quite resembles a rabid dog like a prosecuting attorney in a blue state when they think you've crossed some arbitrary line of legality with a firearm in the most benign of ways, and boy howdy, were we desperately crossing lines. In the physical sense, of our well timed exodus from Virginia, as governor blackface demanded to be recognized as a pillar of moral authority and decree that most of the firearms in my vehicle be declared illegal. This was not in itself a great worry, as I did not own a boat, and could therefore plausibly insist it had sank in the Chesapeake Bay with all of my guns onboard. However, in terms of both employment and doing my best to avoid felonies where reasonable alternatives exist, the Live Free or Die state had been calling me for some time… That well hidden jewel of freedom, cut off from the rest of America by a belt of states between Delaware and Massachusetts and extending as far west as New York where the godless commies had taken their foothold on the east coast. Our only hope was to make a mad dash across near 800 miles, and hope the bastards weren't looking. (Continued in comment)
Nom called me a rapist, a fascist, a racust, far right, retard, and many more. I notice how the left claims to be tolerant, and says shit, like this. Hey Nom, who fucked you in the ass, and called you, Charlie, bitch?!
**In terms of history, Castro dedicated himself to having the best medical care in the world for his citizensImagine
how poorly they must be treated by their government to flee their
excellent healthcare system to come to the United States by crossing a
shark infested ocean in a rubber raft.**
not for the beautiful people like you and me.. But, for the NOT so
beautiful like the rest of us? And, what about the truly ugly who
couldn't get a date anywhere, anytime even if he paid for it..I
believe in equal outcums for all.. I say the government should PROVIDE
sex for everybody, from the retarded to the spastic. I think the 14th
Amendment says something like that.. (I only said that for poochy
boy. He'll get a kick out of it)excon
So, we were all hanging out in the BDSM dungeon recently when I mentioned to George Carlin and Hunter S. Thompson that Donald Trump is the president now among a few other political current events (we don't have newspapers in hell, they burn up). George proceeded to laugh uncontrollably; Hunter screamed something unintelligible, snorted cocaine out of the barrel of a .500 magnum handgun and shot Mother Theresa in the tits. My question: should I let these monsters of satire and political commentary loose upon the world once more? Would they be more likely to go back to what they do best or start a murderous rampage across America? And how ashamed should we be of what these patriots would return to?
Best Comedians: Current & PastWho do you think the best comedians are, from our time period or previously?State one or multiple comedians that one views as superior, and provide reasons for the selection(s) as well as a sample 'bit', if desired