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It is obvious that in a battle between Man vs. Elephant, Elephant is the favored combatant, and I will now detail why in a precise, analytical, and impressive manner.

The most important advantage of the elephant: the tusks. An elephant could easily impale two grown men on each tusk, or up to five children. Now, compare that to what human teeth could do to an elephant: Barely nothing.

The teeth of humans are merely jokes to elephants. No matter how sharp your teeth are, your chances of hurting or killing an elephant with them are very, very small indeed.

And an elephant is big. An elephant could step on you and kill you with no problem, and not even break a sweat. He could even step on you by accident and kill you, and not even know it until he has to scrape you off his foot before walking into his elephant house or whatever.

Elephants are not just big. Elephants are very big. Elephants are big even when down on all four legs. When an elephant is reared up on its hind legs, it's even bigger than before, which was already pretty big to begin with.

Now, you, as a human, are already reared up on your hind legs pretty much all the time, and even then you're still not nearly as big as an elephant that is down on all fours. So, comparing you, up on your hind legs, to an elephant up on it's hind legs, there's just no contest.

What are you gonna do, Mr. Human? Stand on your toes? If you do, the elephant is just going to put its trunk up into the air, dwarfing you even further and making you look like even more of a fool before your ultimate defeat.

Some elephants are also reported to shoot peanuts out of their trunks with such velocity as to resemble machine gun fire. If these reports are true, the odds for human survival vs an elephant onslaught become slimmer with each passing minute.

The most important evidence of the superiority of elephants vs. man is demonstrated clearly on this very debate. What do the humans here consider the most successful outcome vs. an elephant? Why, getting away, of course!

The best that man can hope for is to run away and escape with his life, while the elephant is almost guaranteed to win by killing the human. The lopsided difference between the two ultimate outcomes clearly indicate which force is superior.

Elephants also have excellent memories. When you've forgotten all about your fight with the elephant and your triumphant escape, say, ten or twenty years down the line, and you're somewhere walking along the mall parking lot, sipping your Orange Julius and thinking about the game you watched on 3D holocable last night... BAM! The elephant jumps you from behind.

When the evidence is assembled and the case presented, the result is clear: In the never ending battle between man and elephant, always bet on gray!



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