A Strange Can of Sardines
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I would apply some abductive reasoning. I would begin to analyze how this creature has managed to survive... (Assuming its canned in water and not other substances such as tomato sauce or soybean oil etc.) I would first think, well there was most likely plenty of ventilation for it to receive oxygen. I would then think that it resorted to cannibalism to survive. I would then think that gross bacteria would have formed inside of the container , which would be due to the bad sealing of the can...and so the other sardines would probably be unsafe to eat in their current form. I'd record it on my phone. Separate the live sardine from the dead ones. Fry and season the dead ones. Watch the live one die because I forgot to put it in water. Flush the newly dead one down the toilet because I'm too lazy to research the proper method to prepare a sardine for consumption. 1
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I wouldn't buy the can of sardines in the first place. Even if I did, I probably would have bought it for some sort of charity, and would never open it. If I did open it, it would most likely be because they had been sitting in my pantry for ten years because I forgot about them, and I wanted to flush them down the toilet. If, by some strange occurrence, I had opened the sardines to actually eat them, then there would be a miniscule chance that a sardine was even close to life. They're cooked for up to half an hour, and then put in cans that have been tested multiple times for leaks with a few of their dead friends. So, if everything worked out perfectly, with the fish not getting killed and cooked, the can being one of the less than one percent to pass the leak test while having a leak that would ventilate oxygen in, the fish was put in water rather some sort of sauce that some cans are filled with, and I was actually eating the sardines, then there would be a live fish in my lunch. At that point, I would probably call the canning company to complain and the FDA to inspect them. I would probably just throw away the can and the live fish because I wouldn't want to mess up the freshwater ecosystem by putting a saltwater fish in that could potentially evolve and kill the indigenous animals. 1
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