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Am I pregnant .. again?!?!
Okey I know this is a total dramapost, and I'm sorry but you're welcome to .. leave the debate, report it... declare me enemy, whatever. This is for my fellow dramaqueens out there.
Since I am currently traveling with my family, I don't want to go to the doctor here, I'll get back in two weeks, so I'll visit the doctor then, but .. I am very nervous, and I need to talk to someone about this, but as I told you, I am traveling with my FAMILY, so .. I am too scared to tell them I might be a mother of two before my 20th birthday. Continuing with this speed I'll be having 9 kids before 30.
And yes .. I know you might think, omg you are a total whore! Two timer teen mom?? Ehem, let me introduce you to these magical thing called condoms! YES! I've heard all that so .. forget it.
I already took two pregnancy tests, both negative, but that's the same thing that happened last time I was knocked up.. so pardon me for not trusting those cheap peeing sticks.
Now to my symptoms:
Boobs - I've not noticed it myself but every female in my family has commented on my apparantly enlarged boobs. My bra is not tight, so they can't be that much bigger, but on top of that they hurt like hell - But this is not a normal symptom this early in the pregnancy - this, as far as I know, usually happens when your boobs start producing milk, which is very late in your pregnancy. So I don't know.
Appetite - I never got that extreme chocolate craving during my last pregnancy, but these last couple of days I've been starving non-stop. I ate a whole pizza the other day, might not seem much to you guys, but I am 5'4, 110 pounds - I don't eat much.
Lack of periods - Kind of the only thing that needs to be said, right? my cycle is not very .. regular but I've not had a period for two months.
Worst part is it's the same dad! .. FUCK I'm so stupid. He totally ignored my daughter and me my entire pregnancy and .. about 8-9 months after her birth. And now .. he comes all charming into our life with gifts to her and blablabla .. and yah, I guess I fell for it, so judge me!
I'm so fustrated and angry at myself for being so stupid, ignorant and naive and .. I don't think I poccess any common sense, but I needed to take my fustration out somewhere, sorry you had to be the victims of my stupidity.
Someone disagrees with this ;) Imagine the situation... you're a legal minor and your family is supporting you. You get pregnant. You say: "I can't believe I didn't take precautions, what an idiot" but in the end you have learnt a lesson and it turns out okay. Your parents are supporting you and they accept it in the end. BUT in this case you don't learn a lesson and do the same thing again a few months! Its incredible. Some people really don't give a shit about anyone else.
Not only that but she did it with the father of her daughter who doesn't really care for his daughter. There's a time where you got to say, "get the hell out. You are an adult and you need to start acting like one".
Your parents are forced to have two screaming babies in their house. I assume they pay for your food and things like that too. In any event, is it morally better to burden the state rather than your parents? If you can't afford something the moral thing is not to do it or at least limit yourself a little.
I am not living in my parents house. They do not pay for my food, or things like that - whatever that is. Is it morally better to burden the state rather than parents? I don't know - In Denmark you are supported financially as a student - No matter if you have kids or not. I get 140 dolars extra because I have a kid, if I have two kids, I'll get 140 more. 140 dollars for every child.
The state will support me if I have kids or not.
You obviously don't understand the welfare system.
The state supports me financially so that I can go to school and get an education, so that I in the future can have a job to pay lots of taxes with. That's how it works. I don't think it is morally wrong to be supported by the state, since the state is supported by it's citizens.
The state supports me financially so that I can go to school and get an education
No. The 140 is to support your child. Is that 140 per week or month? I assume that it as well as the cost of housing.
I don't think it is morally wrong to be supported by the state, since the state is supported by it's citizens.
Everyone is paying you money because you continue to have unplanned children. I think you need to wake a bit and realise what you're doing to everyone else.
Everyone who is in school and is over 18 gets at least 360 dollars pr. month. If you live in your own appartment, or you have a child you get 700 dollars. If you live in your own appartment and you have a kid, you get 700 + 140 for every child.
Since I live in my own apparment and have a child, I get about 840 dollars a month from the state (give or take - it's hard to calculate from dkk to usd)
I need you need to learn a little about the welfare system. Everything I take from the system now will be repaid when I'm done with my education. Not to mention that I already have a job, with an average pay of 1000 usd pr. month, which the state takes about 40% of.
Yes we all make monetary contributions to society and also take from it. You would take less if you hadn't been an idiot. Its morally abhorrent to take money from everyone else unnecessarily saying "oh well I'm going to pay you back later". It is not paying it back, is it. You would have paid that money anyway whether you had a baby or not. The fact is there is less money overall that there would have been.
There are of course other reasons why what you did is selfish. The fact that you will have less time for your daughter and your education.
So you agree with the first point then I take it about you taking more.
Right, so the state isn't paying for your education any more then are they? They are paying for you to work less hours to stay at home and look after your children. We are now beginning to see the real costs to society of your negligence.
There is also the issue of you spending less time with your daughter in order to care for the next child (and the next and the next and the next, I presume)
And no, they are not paying for me anymore - my only income is from the part-time job I currently have, and I'm looking for a full-time job. I get a little money now during summer because the year doesn't end till august even though school ends in july. So after august I'll have no income from the state.
There is also the issue of you spending less time with your daughter in order to care for the next child
Uhm... LOL! of all the ridiculous things you've said so far this has got to be the winner. Most parents have several children. There are actually very few people who have only one child. I don't see how this is going to be an issue for me, when it doesn't seem to be an issue for anyone else. I have four siblings, are you an only child? If so it could probably justify this stupid statement a little.
So after august I'll have no income from the state.
That's good then. Hope you can afford to support two children on your own.
Uhm... LOL! of all the ridiculous things you've said so far this has got to be the winner. Most parents have several children. There are actually very few people who have only one child. I don't see how this is going to be an issue for me, when it doesn't seem to be an issue for anyone else. I have four siblings, are you an only child? If so it could probably justify this stupid statement a little.
So.. you don't think you'll spend less time with your daughter if you have two children rather than one? Whether its normal or not, people usually consider this question before having more children. It is a reason why many wait until their in a stable relationship, or until they have enough money to support the children etc etc etc.
You're the sort of person that argues that white is black and black is white. It doesn't matter whether it will take twice as much time or not. It will be harder and you won't be able to care for the first one as well.
You said you're stupid for what you did. In what way are you stupid? Maybe we can just agree on what you say.
No I wont have to work more hours - I earn plenty of money, and Being a student and a mother is extremely exhausting. If i am pregnant ill just be a mother of two. Dont think it will be more exhausting than it has been.
It has a negative effect - selfisness is not it, in my opinion
You sound very niave. But whatever. Its you're life. You are stupid, like you said. You recgonise that there are negative effects to your negligence, yet again, and I believe that they effect your children and possibly the state and your family. The fact that it affects other people makes you selfish.
That fact? It is no fact that it will affect my family. Ive been a student and a parent for a year, and so far it has not affected anyone financially but myself. Maybe im naive but you sure arent very open minded. A lot of teen parents rely on their parents - some try of us try to make it by ourself, sorry for being so selfish. Didnt know having children was such a crime all of a sudden
Being selfish isn't a crime. You dare not say the negative effect of having a second child when the first one is still a baby with a man that doesn't want to care for it (the same man as before) while you still have't got your career sorted and have just stopped relying on state benefits. Clearly the negative effect includes on the children but for some reason you won't admit it.
I am open minding but when someone continually makes fuck ups, its very difficult to have sympathy.
I never relied on state benefits. I have a good job plus my savings. I am not asking for sympathy, but i doubt youll give it to anyone, because everyone makes screwups all the time.
I see the negative effect on my career. You however insist this is going to effect my family so much, how i wont have time to take care for them, which is in my opinion ridiculous, you obviously dont have children.
I see the negative effect on my career. You however insist this is going to effect my family so much, how i wont have time to take care for them, which is in my opinion ridiculous, you obviously dont have children.
Ask anyone that has chosen to have children in their 30s with a stable partner and job, if they would have thought they could have carried for their children just the same if they had them when they were teenagers as a single parent: they'd see that I'm not the only one with the 'ridiculous opinion'. Sometimes people make mistakes and they have children early. They cope and do okay. But you... its not just a screw up is it? Its negligence to the extreme.
Ask anyone that has chosen to have children in their 30s if they have any idea of how it is to have children earlier in your life.
You have to ask someone who knows from both sides to get an objective answer. Take my mom - she had four kids from 20-26, and then she got me just before she turned 40. She says you should do it earlier in your life, because later in life you will not have the same energy. I can play around with my daughter on the playground, she loves it and I love spending time with her by playing with her. I doubt I'll have the same energy to that 10-15 years from now. Biologically speaking women should have children between the ages of 17-25 - after that the risk of having babies with disabilities, down syndromes and all that kind of stuff are severely increased. Maybe that is an explanation on why more and more children today are born with disabilites and why more and more children are born with down syndrom - Women start getting children when biologically they were supposed to be done years ago.
I didn't say you have a ridiculous opinion - What I thought was ridiculous is when you said that I was not going to take as good care of my first daughter with two children.
I take it you don't have children, since your obviously very closed minded and uninformed.
It is not an issue of biological age. It is an issue of having children when you have a stable career (with stable finances) in a stable relationship. You cannot say that your babies are better off now than if you had waited for that. This is why your decision is selfish.
And no of course I don't have children. My wage is too low and I don't have a solid partner. What do you think I am? A selfish idiot?
That was never a decision. You really think I one day decided to have a child at 17?
I'm an idiot medical student with a law degree.
And I'm a 19 year old parent going to lawschool in september. Are you really that arrogant you think your law degree makes you smarter than anyone else on parenting? Yes, you are an idiot, for several reasons.
That was never a decision. You really think I one day decided to have a child at 17?
Well, if it was just one then I'd say - you know what - give her the benefit of the doubt... she forgot to use protection. This is not the first time though. In any event, I'm glad you seem to concede that having a child when you don't have a stable career nor a stable partner is selfish.
An idiot is someone with a low IQ. I do not have a low IQ.
2. Making a screw up twice doesn't make it a decision.
3. You are even more an idiot if you think the definition of an idiot is someone with a low IQ - which also makes you even more closed-minded and arrogant.
You know full well you didn't wear protection. Don't bullshit.
If you assume a high risk then you assume the consequences. You knew having unprotected sex may lead in pregnancy and you did it anyway. You decided to become pregnant.
Yes I knew what unprotected sex may lead to, that's why I didn't have it. Unfortunately, and I assume a person with such high IQ as you know, protected sex may have the same consequence as unprotected.
And no I didn't decide to become pregnant. I decided to have sex. And as you say, pregnancy is often a result of that - sometimes things turn out a way you didn't count on, that doesn't mean you chose it.
If you drive a car and end up in a car accident, did you choose to be in a car accident? Doubt it - Even though you know before that thousands of car accidents happen everyday, and your chances of getting into one aren't that small, you still decided to drive. When you do sertain things there are always consequences that can occur - You decided to take the risk, you didn't decide or count on the rare case of a car accident happening.
I never decided to get pregnant, you say I am selfish but still I find it hard to really see what exactly it is that makes me selfish. Being pregnant isn't selfish, getting children isn't selfish, and I already told you I don't rely on other sources of income than my own, I don't live in a house or apartment that I don't own/rent, and even though I might not have a stable career, I do have a stable income more than enough to take care of my daughter and me, and if my suspicions turn out to be correct, then another child will not be a financial problem for me either, so I can't be selfish for having kids when I can't support them, and if you think being a single parent makes me selfish then what is your problem? Most people today are single parents, if not single they are with people that. Most of my friends have divorced parents and no one of them ever had a problem with that, so I doubt it really is a selfish act.
Yes Im stupid - stupid for having sex with a man who screwed me up once. Stupid for falling for it again. Im not selfish.
And you seriously think that you wouldn't have been able to care for your children better if youd have been with a partner and with a stable career? In regard to your job, presume you'll be relying on social benefits again once you start a law degree.
I didn't fail again, it might have failed for the first time.
It is irrelevant how I am able to take care of my children better. Everyone can do better - What's relelvant is whether I can do it good enough, and I can.
And in regard to my job, I'm not relying on social benefits again once I start a law degree. As I said earlier my ''social benefits'' if you want to call it that, ends in august.
I didn't fail again, it might have failed for the first time.
I see. So the first time as unprotected and this time was protected but failed. How did it fail? (I actually don't believe you used protection because if you had you wouldnt really be worried that you were pregnant based on the syntomns you have).
It is irrelevant how I am able to take care of my children better. Everyone can do better - What's relelvant is whether I can do it good enough, and I can.
Everyone could do better, including you.Thank you for that. So if you'd have waited a few years you would probably have been able to give your children a better life. No it isn't about doing 'good enough' - its about giving your children the best start in life that you possibly can.
How did it fail? You are actually asking me that? Do you want me to explain to you how condoms break? Ask any woman if she's worried if she's pregnant after a condom breaks.
its about giving your children the best start in life that you possibly can
Well, first of all, with that attitude the human race would probably not be very reproductive.
Second of all, what is the best start? That is a very broad subject, that you can not define yourself. What is the best start for a child? Doctors will argue with the fact that I am in my best reproductive age, and a child has it's lowest risk of getting disabilities, syndroms and other sorts of disadvantages one can be born with, when it's mother is in a sertain age (most doctors say 16/17-25) and has a healthy lifestyle.
And as I said, the fact that I can go crazy with my daughter on the playground. And the fact that I know how to keep my daughter healthy and happy.
So what if I'm not able to give her whatever she is pointing at? Is that really what you want to raise your children with anyway?
You are always mentioning a stable career - Why is me having a stable career the best for my daughter? Because I would say that having a stable income would be the best for your children, which I have.
You argue with me being selfish, and even though you haven't said it directly you sertainly imply that I am not doing good enough.
You can not say when anyone is at his or hers best stage in life of getting children, never. Yes, I will agree that 17 is an age where you have disadvantages. But so is 30, so is 35, so is 25. You will always have some disadvantages when getting children that you wouldn't have earlier or later in life.
You obviously focus a bit much on money, which is pointless since I have multiple times implied that money is not a problem.
But I think I'm gonna end this debate now, it is obviously pointless to argue with someone who hasn't made mistakes in his life.
How did it fail? You are actually asking me that? Do you want me to explain to you how condoms break? Ask any woman if she's worried if she's pregnant after a condom breaks.
Sadly, that happens.
Second of all, what is the best start?
The best you can give it. If you can feed it and keep it alive, God bless you.
So what if I'm not able to give her whatever she is pointing at? Is that really what you want to raise your children with anyway?
That's not what we mean. We mean whatever you can do to the best of your possibility.
You are always mentioning a stable career - Why is me having a stable career the best for my daughter? Because I would say that having a stable income would be the best for your children, which I have.
Because there is nothing more disgusting than a slob.
But I think I'm gonna end this debate now, it is obviously pointless to argue with someone who hasn't made mistakes in his life.
Everyone makes mistakes. I've made real dumb ones. I wonder sometimes if I kept on the path I was on if I would be laying in a ditch on smack or worse.
What we are pointing at is a very, simple solution. If you don't want to have a kid, don't fuck in the first place. Take responsibility for your actions.
I haven't the foggiest if your preggers or not at the moment.
If you remember me from our previous conversations, you know I wasn't at all judgmental before, shit happens, but how could you not take precautions after the first unplanned pregnancy?
You have seemed more intelligent than many on this site, so props. I wish better for you; but no one can really know another's life, or should judge another's personal choices.
I don't think anybody here can conclusively say that you are or are not pregnant based on what you've described here.
I can say that my wife has had almost identical symptoms recently- enlarged, painful breasts, and she missed two periods, then had the third normally. The enlargement and pain in her breasts has persisted, and all pregnancy tests thus far have been negative. I've been trying to talk her into going to her doctor, but she's been resisting that. We are actually trying to have another baby, so I'm not sure why she hasn't been willing to do so.
Whatever the case, 'Don't worry' is your best option. Whether you are pregnant or not doesn't matter here- either you are, or you aren't, and worrying about it confers no benefit to you and is detrimental to your health. I recommend seeing your doctor at the earliest opportunity.
Assuming your visit to the doctor confirms that you are not pregnant, I would get on birth control as soon as possible. It's easy to forget condoms in the heat of the moment, particularly if you, your partner, or both has a distinct preference for going at it raw- a very common preference amongst both women and men, from my experience, even when contraception is desired from an intellectual standpoint.
I don't mean any offense by it, but the first time this happened could be chalked up to a simple mistake and a learning experience, albeit a costly one- but if you're finding yourself in bed with someone that your rational mind knows you shouldn't be with- and particularly if you're risking pregnancy with someone whom you know isn't going to take responsibility- it's an indicator that your biological instincts are fully capable of overriding your rational intent. You can rail against this fact and refuse to accept it, but that will likely result in future unwanted pregnancies even if you don't turn out to be pregnant now. Better to accept this aspect of yourself for what it is, and take measures when you have a clear head to limit the fallout of poor decisions made in the moment.
I would personally recommend an IUD or the shot, if you aren't opposed to either of these; these forms of birth control are non-permanent and more foolproof than the pill or the patch. They partially remove planning and routine from the equation- not entirely, as the shot is good for something to the effect of 6 months, and the IUD for years depending on the type used.
OK, here's what you have to do. Photograph your boobs and send the pictures to me as soon as possible. Trust me. I'm a father of 2 so I've learned a thing or two along the way. If you can't trust your uncle joe, who can you trust ;)
So YOU were the internet doctor from American Dad! Did you ever figure out if Francine was pregnant or not? I know she never sent those pictures of her boobs popping out of a cheerleader outfit, but it was implied that the earlier photos she sent could at least give you a picture. That plotline kind of dropped off into nowhere...
Maybe she didn't think it was funny. Maybe she thought it was kinda creepy. Especially coming from uncle joe. Maybe she found out she was really pregnant and has more important things to worry about than responding to some clown on the internet. Maybe I should have asked for a picture of her belly instead.
Wouldn't it be funny if you could knock on someone's belly and say, "Hello? Is anyone in there?" and you got a reply ;)
I don't know what to say.... like literally, I'm just a random stranger on the internet with an account on this website. Anyways.... "don't worry" seems like the best option for a person who just created a post on a forum website about their possible pregnancy.
I don't think you're pregnant. But why did you do it with the guy that ignored your current daughter? Aint you pissed? If you are not ready for another kid you might want to stop or you will have another kid.
