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Debate Info

17
37
Arrange Love
Debate Score:54
Arguments:42
Total Votes:54
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Argument Ratio

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 Arrange (14)
 
 Love (28)

Debate Creator

sayyad99(773) pic



Arrange vs. Love Marriages

Which is better? Is it arranged marriages or love marriages? Which lasts longer? Is it arrange or love marriages. Guys what do you think?

Arrange

Side Score: 17
VS.

Love

Side Score: 37
2 points

Which is better? Is it arranged marriages or love marriages? Which lasts longer? Is it arrange or love marriages. Guys what do you think?

All marriages are arranged.

Side: Arrange
sayyad99(773) Disputed
1 point

All marriages are not arranged. Do you think that eloping is a form of arranged marriage? Arrange marriage is referred to as the process whereby parents find a partner in marriage for their child or children. Love marriage is another way for saying that people find their partners themselves and choose who they want to or wish to get married to.

Side: love
iamdavidh(4856) Disputed
1 point

You need some legal documentation... which must be arranged. And the majority of those getting married do quite a bit of arranging during the wedding process.

I believe if you live with someone for 5 years (could be more or less) it is considered "common law" - there is not necessarily an arrangement outside of who pays the bills, but then again, it is not marriage.

Basically, he was making a joke.

Side: Arrange
1 point

Remember guys for successful relation need not to do a love marriage because , if we had a affair with anyone before marriage, then after marriage your children will do same things, that u did at those particular ages, for e.g if you had a girlfriend/Boyfriend and u had gave many smooch ( apart from marring her/him or not marring her/him) , this effects is also seen in your children i.e they are double advance then you , they may have many girlfriends & they may have sex with them , and what all Ur children did it, that also has effect to their children and if it goes further than they children ends in prostitution ( apart from marring her/him or not marring her/him). And finally prostitution end up with violence because to do sex or affair requires commitment , due to this u will be bounded with bad sin and if violence exist then there would be a civil war, human fight ,hate redness, and finally leads to brainwash you can't gain knowledge , u all will became uneducated and due to this fights exist ( See today's world how bad it has become). violence exist Because of this thing and as well as non-veg, Arrange marriage is better . And any marriage if doesn't last long then that's consider your bad sin.

Side: Arrange
4 points

Remember guys for successful relation need not to do a love marriage

You are arguing that two free people who do not love each other can maintain a successful relationship spanning decades? Laughable.

if we had a affair with anyone before marriage

We would be very confused as to our marital state and to what an affair is.

if you had a girlfriend/Boyfriend and u had gave many smooch ( apart from marring her/him or not marring her/him) , this effects is also seen in your children

And this is a problem... why?

they may have many girlfriends & they may have sex with them

I ask again, why is this a problem?

than they children ends in prostitution

If sex led inevitably to prostitution, we would all be prostitutes. This is complete nonsense.

And finally prostitution end up with violence because to do sex or affair requires commitment

Sex does not require commitment, whereas an affair surely requires lack of commitment?

and finally leads to brainwash

Brainwashing? So marrying who you wish to marry is the cause of brainwashing? Extramarital sex is the cause of brainwashing? Premarital sex is the cause of brainwashing? Is being so stupid painful?

u all will became uneducated

You cannot "become" uneducated, you moron.

See today's world how bad it has become

You have no historical perspective at all, have you?

And any marriage if doesn't last long then that's consider your bad sin.

As if your argument wasn't incredible enough, you introduce religion. Bah.

Side: love
sourabh89(11) Disputed
1 point

Dude u don't know nothing about love , affairs , relationships , truth, sex, prostitution, About marriages ,about non-violence, and how people are behaving as uneducated. And about historical aspects you talk to me , You don't know the effect of modern life. And as you see today's world how cruel , prostitution, sex, murder, robbery, cheating , and only eating non-veg. Remember if u want to lead a simple and good life , don't go to do sex before marriage , Not even a smooch .It's Highly dangerous.

Side: Arrange
iamdavidh(4856) Disputed
1 point

... you have no proof of any of this. You are either a very silly person, or a very young one.

Side: love
sourabh89(11) Disputed
1 point

This shows you don't have any culture . You don't obey and practice to be simple being , you are cowered person i.e who cannot be innocent or can't be simple in they life

Side: Arrange
1 point

How about some sort of hybrid? That's my plan. I intend to tell my daughter that I should be introduced first to anyone she intends to date. Obviously I should become well acquainted with anyone who courts her, at least until she's an adult. My desire is to protect her from anyone who would try to dominate her or break her spirit. To make sure that whoever she involves in our family treats her with dignity and has genuine affections for her (and her for him).

I don't think becoming a parent before adulthood should be the ordinary way things are. But it is. Age being such an unreliable indicator of adulthood doesn't help either!

Obviously the parents are heavily involved in the opportunities presented to their offspring. Our very nature makes that unavoidable.

This is an interesting subject. Not one I usually give much attention.

I put my argument on this side since it had the least votes. :)

Side: Arrange
protazoa(427) Disputed
2 points

first, that is not a hybrid, since you stated that you want your approval until she is an adult. Unless you plan to allow your daughter to marry as a child, you are really not influencing her at the time that she marries. Therefore, you are not even influencing who she marries, let alone arranging it

Therefore your 'hybrid' is still an example of a love-marriage: not in any way an example of an arranged marriage.

secondly: As a teenage boy, I am fully aware of the agony that other parents put me through, either intentionally or unintentionally. Believe it or not, i am not much of a ladies man (hopefully i get a date someday), but i have on more than one occasion parents of female friends suspected me to be their daughter, and run through the hoops.

Put simply: Please be nice. Parents are scary.

Side: love
2 points

You busted me.

I was just invited to this debate and didn't want to post on the winning side.

I think the kid to adult advice in the responses is kinda cool though. (And from both sex perspectives)

Side: love
zombee(1026) Disputed
1 point

I recognize that parental input can be valuable for a young person when they are assessing a mate, especially for a long term relationship...however, your daughter is almost certainly not going to feel that way and your idea probably won't go over very well. I am sure this occurred to you, and you decided to go ahead with it, for her own good, so I hope that any resentment and resistance that arises from this does no permanent damage to your relationship.

Edit: I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to tell you how to raise your (potential?) daughter. I just remember being a teenage girl and trying to date despite my father's interference, and how, even as an adult, I still wish he hadn't tried to mandate his involvement.

Side: love
atypican(4875) Disputed
1 point

I recognize that parental input can be valuable

Not giving your input would be called neglect.

however, your daughter is almost certainly not going to feel that way

I think you are making some assumptions about how I relate to my daughter (who is now 7 BTW)

It's not that I am discounting the value of letting her develop her decision making skills by actually allowing her (gradually and increasingly as she matures of course) to independently make decisions, mistakes etc.. It's just that the reality is that the throw your hands up approach as I see it can be just as bad as an approach that aims for too much control. You must admit that it's challenging for a parent to discern what level of parental moderation is most appropriate to where the child is developmentally.

I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to tell you how to raise your (potential?) daughter.

It's cool. As you might imagine a daughter's perspective is particularly interesting to me.

I still wish he hadn't tried to mandate his involvement.

You blame his over-concern for you for causing what? about you that you would rather were different?

Side: Arrange
1 point

I intend to tell my daughter that I should be introduced first to anyone she intends to date.

This plan is likely to fail. Your opinion of a desirable mate is unlikely to coincide with your daughter's.

Obviously I should become well acquainted with anyone who courts her, at least until she's an adult.

Why? How can a person learn from a relationship with daddy watching? Being a teenager is about experiencing things, learning to grow up.

My desire is to protect her from anyone who would try to dominate her or break her spirit.

Such as yourself?

To make sure that whoever she involves in our family treats her with dignity and has genuine affections for her (and her for him).

Perhaps you should treat her with dignity by allowing her to choose at her own discretion?

I don't think becoming a parent before adulthood should be the ordinary way things are.

Several problems with this argument:

1. Our estimation of adulthood is an arbitrary one. Naturally speaking, the moment a female becomes fertile, she is a prospective mate.

2. Teenage pregnancy is entirely irrelevant to this debate.

3. Teenage pregnancy is statistically speaking a very unlikely product of a teenage relationship.

Side: love
atypican(4875) Disputed
1 point

This plan is likely to fail. Your opinion of a desirable mate is unlikely to coincide with your daughter's.

It's an ill plan that can't be changed

Obviously I should become well acquainted with anyone who courts her, at least until she's an adult.

Why?

The things I expect to be obvious! Because I am responsible for the safety of my child and home.

How can a person learn from a relationship with daddy watching?

Children do nothing but that in their earlier stages. As children mature it's the parents responsibility to allow more and more decisions to be left up to them. Your argument assumes that I will err to the side of exerting too much control. How does me expressing my concern compel you to assume that I am not flexible?

My desire is to protect her from anyone who would try to dominate her or break her spirit.

Such as yourself?

Not likely. I am like the opposite of domineering (at least that's how I fancy myself)

Perhaps you should treat her with dignity by allowing her to choose at her own discretion?

I agree. I should. Dignity is fundamental to my parenting style. I think being closely involved without taking it to an unhealthy extreme is where it's at.

Our estimation of adulthood is an arbitrary one

You can only rightfully speak of YOUR estimation of adulthood. If you think adulthood is an an arbitrary distinction that's your problem.

Teenage pregnancy is entirely irrelevant to this debate.

That's nonsense

Teenage pregnancy is statistically speaking a very unlikely product of a teenage relationship.

That's because most relationships that teenagers have are not of a sexual nature. I think you struggle just a bit more than I do to stay relevant. Well leave the texts between us to reflect the truth of that.

3 isn't several

Side: Arrange
1 point

see arrange marriages are mostly made by parents in which we also get a say in it

arrange marriages cannot be done without the girl or boy's permission

secondly parents choose the beautiful girl or handsome boy

they won't choose a ugly looking type

Side: Arrange
1 point

see arrange marriages are mostly made by parents in which we also get a say in it

arrange marriages cannot be done without the girl or boy's permission

secondly parents choose the beautiful girl or handsome boy

they won't choose a ugly looking type

Side: Arrange
2 points

A love marriage is a union of two individuals based upon mutual love, affection, commitment and attraction.

without love the marriage is nothing but damage. Whats the advantage and need of marriage if there is no love. Don't forget even in arrange marriages love is necessary and if not directly then indirectly arrange marriage is a combination of love and permission of parents.

In the end i would like to quote ~Leo Buscaglia: ''Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. ''

Side: love
MegaDittos(571) Disputed
2 points

What is the divorce rate for American "love" marriages? for arranged marriages??

Those answers make it pretty clear cut.

Side: Arrange
zombee(1026) Disputed
2 points

You are discounting the possibility of social pressure placed on arranged marriages to 'work out' despite even profound unhappiness within them. Arranged marriages tend to be practiced in countries or cultures where a) marriages have different motives than they do in the United States and b) divorce is either not allowed, difficult to obtain, or generally frowned upon.

Side: love
1 point

yeah most love marriages tend to end badly. but not all break up bad.

Side: both sound good to me
2 points

if parents don't have any problem to their kids marrying some person they think is good then it's perfectly okay. therefore, kids should make sure that they date those, their parents are bound to like. which will make both the parents and the kids happy. parents are more experienced and know what's best for them.

:):):):):)

their marriage will be both, love and arranged marriage.

Side: both sound good to me
2 points

Love. Love is the greatest gift God ever gave mankind. Love is not wanting to go anywhere without her. Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you're not with them. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose without them. And that if they weren't holding your hand you would float away to heaven from where they came. Love is caring for them physically and emotionally. It's telling them everyday, anytime, anywhere, anyhow, for no just reason that you love them. Love is telling them you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Love is wanting to marry them even though you haven't been dating that long. That you would do anything and everything for them. It's the feeling that you would give up everything just to see thier smile or look into their beautiful eyes or hear their soft, soothing voice. Love is pure happiness. Love is the feeling you get when all you have to do is think of them and it brings a smile to your face and a yourning to your heart. Love is not being able to think about nothing but them. Love is having the sweetest dreams about them and waking up with a smile on your face. Love is an overwelming feeling of pure bliss when the two of you kiss. Love is wanting to hold them in your arms till the end of time. Love is wishing your time with them never ends, that your lips would be locked together forever, that they'll be in your arms till the end of time, that you could cuddle with them for all of eternity. Love is being helplessy and deeply in love with them and knowing your love for them and your feelings for them will never change or end. Love is the world, the world is love, and they is the world to you.

Side: love
1 point

I would say i support love marriage. It based upon the decision of two people who find love affection for each other to unite not based on principles but based on love.

Side: love
1 point

This is the only reason I would marry. However, it seems in some cultures, people are alright with an arranged marriage; it isn't forced, but they trust their parents to choose a person with whom they can form a stable partnership. So as it's long as it's still entered voluntarily, arranged marriages are fine, too.

Side: love
1 point

I have to agree with you on this one. There are some cultures in which arrange marriage goes along very well. I think maybe it depends on the traditional background and accomplishments between both parties that acts as a driving factor.

Side: love
1 point

What this argument does not encompass is that not all marriages by choice are marriages by love.

When people marry for money, or power, they often marry for the same reasons as arranged marriages.

This may be somewhat tangential, but I would like to pose an additional criteria to consider.

What of loveless marriages by choice versus loveless marriages by arrangement?

Side: love
1 point

I suppose I would still classify those as arranged marriages, although the bride and groom are the ones that did the arranging, rather than the parents or a third party.

I know that, once I define an arranged marriage like that, then all marriages technically become arranged marriages. I would still use the word arranged to refer to marriages formed for something other than love (no matter who arranged them) because, once love is removed from the equation, the marriage is no longer a romantic union as it is popularly viewed in the United States and other places. It is an arrangement for fiscal or social stability. I may still be a little unclear as to how I make the distinction but I suppose that's not the terribly important part, anyway.

Public sentiment is that these marriages are immoral shams, but I would only take issue with them if one partner had the wrong impression regarding the terms of the marriage, and was hurt as a result of the dishonesty. Personally, it is difficult to divorce the notions of love and marriage in my head, and I would be unhappy in a union like this...but I know some people for whom it would probably work out very well.

Side: love
1 point

ho can u expect to marry some 1 even without knowing him/her?

whose 2 spend the life with the gal/boy

u or ur arranger?

Side: love
1 point

It becomes difficult therefore to predict the ideal sort of marriage. So ultimately it is up to the individual to decide whether he (she) wants to have a love or an arranged marriage after all it is a question of being happy in love.

Side: both sound good to me
1 point

Life is too short and precious to waste on a marriage without true love

Side: Love
1 point

Love is only a way to get hurt. I wish it id not exist. Eff love.

Side: Arrange