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Chan Wai Leong gives an account of what he calls the 'gender revolution' (11A05)

To what extent do you agree or disagree with his views? Support your answer with examples drawn from your society's experience of the 'gender revolution'.

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3 points

Chan Wai Leong felt that birth control techniques were able to greatly benefit women as they were now able to limit the sizes of their families and enter the workforce. In addition, they were helped by the fact that there was a revolution in the nature of the workplace, with more tedious and manual work being replaced by machines which can be easily operated. This is true of many different countries, as birth control techniques, including contraceptive pills or sterilization etc are highly effective. However, I disagree that this is the main reason why women wanted to limit their families and enter the workforce. The more dominant reason would be the introduction of education, which limited family sizes, also causing women to become more ambitious, hoping to shape a career path for themselves. Education in women was what led to the limit in their family sizes, and the refined and advanced birth control techniques are only considered a tool in helping women to achieve their goals. This is because birth control techniques, though widely known, may not be understood by those who have received little or no education. They may not have full understanding and knowledge of such techniques, or even have access to it. Large family sizes were still considered the traditional way of life, and women still were unable to enter the workforce, due to their lack of educational prospects. As such, I do not agree that birth control techniques allowed women to enter the workforce, but it was the introduction of education that was responsible for it. Consider, Singapore, a developed country with advanced technology. Both men and women enjoy high adult literacy rates, which allowed women to enter the workforce and compete against men in the corporate world. At the same time, we see a decline in our birth rates. This is not only caused by birth control techniques, but women yearning to shape for themselves a bright career. Therefore, birth control techniques did not lead to women limiting their family size and entering the workforce. In fact, education was responsible for it.

angelsong(114) Clarified
1 point

You said, according to author, A caused Y, plus B caused Y and then follow it with 'This is true of many different countries, as birth control techniques, including contraceptive pills or sterilization etc are highly effective.'

What exactly does 'this' refer to then?

And then the rest of your argument utterly ignores the B caused Y claim...

Should clean up the flow of your argument

1 point

Comprehensive argument that also has a clear stand. The paragraph also develops smoothly.

kristal2(4) Clarified
1 point

You said birth control techniques did not lead to women limiting their family size and entering the workforce, it does to a certain extent! So sweeping statement theereeee lydddd.

1 point

Argument using education was extensive and well-elaborated. However, the second sentence "In addition, they were helped by the fact that there was a revolution in the nature of the workplace, with more tedious and manual work being replaced by machines which can be easily operated", was redundant and added confusion to the flow in paragraph.

2 points

Chan claims that with new birth control techniques discovered, many women are now able to step up and prove their worth in society because they no longer have to stay at home and take care of their children. According to the passage, chan feels that 'birth control techs became widely understood and refined so that in many societies, women for the first time were able to limit their families'. To him, this helped in solving part of the gender revolution because women are now able to be as capable as men, and nothing is holding them back like before. This gives them the opportunity to actually be noticed and regarded as one, as strong as men. I agree with Chan's view because this factor has indeed changed many things over the years. The presence of women covering more important roles in their workplaces are becoming an increasingly common sight, and it might be because of the fact that they do not have any responsibilities to hold onto at home, after the creation of the birth control techniques. As for Singapore, this is true as the number of working women have increased after the use of birth control techniques. They are not seen working alongside men more frequently, and it shows how the lack of children around changes the roles of the woman.

1 point

I agree but could be better elaborated with better examples given!

2 points

Mr Chan Wai Leong claims that the advancement in technology has caused gender revolution. I agree with this point as with technological advancemnets,women can now also do jobs that were once thought of as a 'man's job'. For example, previously men used to cut down trees with axes and by cutting it further into smaller chunks, carried to their various destinations. However, now both men and women can do this job by using advanced tools like motor-powered saws and the whole tree itself can be moved using a crane and placed onto lorries and transported away.This way, women would also be contributing to their conutry's economic growth and not just the men. This would improve the productivity and efficiency of a country's labour force. Therefore, advancement in technology has allowed women to work and earn a living for themselves instead of being dependant on men to be the sole bread-winner of a family.

1 point

Agreed!

Maybe could couple this point with birth control techniques, which enable women to be more free to enter the work force.

Lack of children keeping women at home + changes in the workforce = women entering work force and becoming more significant.

kristal2(4) Clarified
1 point

Good elaboration of example and it is clear with linking statement at the end to show the gender revolution

1 point

Chan Wai Leong claims that changes in management in the working industry has allowed gender revolution. I agree with what he said because in Singapore today, companies and industries have implemented rules that have allowed women to feel comfortable and safe at work. In the past, women were vulnerable to dangers like sexual harassment from colleagues or even superiors. However, rules and regulations have been implemented that has deterred the males from doing so or serious consequences would befall them. Also, being able to have a say now, whereby opinions would be taken into consideration as long as it was feasible and useful, as compared to the past whereby everything women said were considered to be not constructive or useless. This drastic change in the way the labourforce functions now makes it easy for women to have the courage to step up and take up a job, as well as to make them feel welcomed and not out of place. Furthermore, modifications in management have allowed women to enjoy promotions which would not be possible in the past, when a woman would have been considered lucky if even offered a job. These changes have brought about gender revolution which was not seen in the past.

angelsong(114) Clarified
1 point

'Also, being able to have a voice now, whereby opinions would be taken into consideration as long as it was feasible and useful, as compared to the past whereby everything women said were considered to be not constructive or useless.'

- please write complete sentences.

The precise point by author is change from confrontational management style, to cooperative management style. Should always give precise point of author.

1 point

Chan claims that cooperative management in workplaces has opened up doors for gender revolution. With reference to the passage "... authoritarian, confrontational management has largely given way to cooperative enterprises in which women feel at home." I agree with Chan's claim. In the past, women were often marginalized and subjected to abuse, both physical and psychological. Women at work were often tormented with sexual harassment from either their male colleagues or superiors and being the weaker sex without a 'voice', there was little or nothing they could do to retaliate. This was prevalent in the aviation industry of Singapore in the 1980s, where many rookie air stewardess were victimized on flights. However, decades on, stricter rules and regulations are enforced in workplaces and women are no longer at such a disadvantage. Singapore has complied with the UN anti-gender discrimination standards and the establishment of AWARE, Singapore’s leading gender equality advocacy group, helped to remove all gender-based barriers so as to allow individuals to realize their fullest potential and work more productively.

angelsong(114) Disputed
1 point

What exactly does confrontational management stye mean, versus cooperative enterprises? Did your comments reflect this meaning?

bryangoh(4) Clarified
1 point

Confrontational management refers to a working environment where people are merely treated as subjects who are often dominated over by their superiors. These people are strictly controlled and their freedom is restrained. They are not given any say to influence decisions but are just called to follow orders. On the other hand, cooperative enterprises encompasses a holistic environment where the worker's opinions are taken into consideration and the empolyers work closely along side their employees to create a better working environment. The management will take its workers feedbacks into consideration and aim to provide them with welfare.

1 point

6. cannot insulate from force of change

The author mentioned that all of society cannot insulate from the force of change, implying that gender revolution affects everyone. I do not agree with him as there are still some people who have traditional mindsets and are resistant to gender role changes. An obvious example would be India, where women are still seen as inferior to men. Several cases occurring on a daily basis show that women are mistreated males in India. These cases involve much brutality such as the usage of acid to disfigure a women when they give birth to females or reject wedding proposals and so on. The men would pour acid as revenge on the women and officials rarely do anything to stop it. The number of cases to be so great that the police can do nothing about it. This is due to the widespread belief that women are the inferior sex and men can do anything they wish to women without blame. Therefore there are still countries that exist that are resistant to the changes brought about by gender revolution which disagrees with the author's point of view.

angelsong(114) Disputed
1 point

'Several cases occurring on a daily basis show that women are mistreated males in India.' - Please write your point more precisey and clearly!

Similrarly, 'The number of cases to be so great that the police can do nothing about it.'

Should segue to Singapore in 2nd half of paragraph.

(Why do you need to do that?)

1 point

Chan claims that the gender revolution is largely unrecognized and unacknowledged. I certainly do agree with his view on how little gender revolution is propagated, and also agree that this would spur more movements towards the manifestation of what Chan believes is the gender revolution. Over the past century, women has reduced inequality in many fronts. Women gradually entered the formal labour force in growing numbers, women has started taking roles in male-dominated occupations such as soldiers and doctors, women have been attaining higher representative roles in the political office. Unfortunately, even with these radical changes in previously chauvinistic areas, people tend to not credit the phenomenon to these changes or are unwilling to admit that it is a reality. This can also be clearly seen in Singapore, with more prominent politicians being women and a recent study showing that there is a much higher proportion of women lawyers now in relation to that decades ago. However, little is done to facilitate this changing paradigm that women are as capable as men and hence more can be done to allow the gender revolution to take its course to shape society today.

angelsong(114) Clarified
1 point

'and also agree that this would spur more movements towards the manifestation of what Chan believes is the gender revolution.' - What does 'this' refer to? Unclear.

'people tend to not credit the phenomenon to these changes' - what phenomenon?

'unwilling to admit that it is a reality' - what does 'it' refer to?

Can write more precisely and clearly to bring across your argument fully.

1 point

Clearly states examples and is well elaborated, structure is well-organised and clear. Reference to our society(singapore) gives more credibility to the paragraph.

1 point

Chan claims that technological progress and changes in management in workplaces have allowed gender revolution. I agree heartily to this point. Changes in management, especially with regards to laws protecting the rights of women in workplaces have allowed women to feel safe and perform to their best ability at work. In Singapore, laws have been laid and rallies held advocating the equality of both gender in workplaces. Discrimination is frowned upon and women are encouraged to participate in the shrinking workforce. Furthermore, technological progress have reduced back breaking labour to simple operation of machineries. This encourages the participation of women in the workforce as women are no longer discriminated due to their inability to carry out chores that are deemed too difficult for their physical attributes. As such, I agree with Chan's claims that technological progress as well as changes in management have enabled the gender revolution.

1 point

Clearly shows the link how technological progress is able to guide women into the workforce- because there is less back breaking labour required and the women are able to make use of technology to get things done without having to use brute strength. hence, it proves the point as to why technological progress has a part to play in the gender revolution.

Furthermore, she elaborated on how changes in management in workplaces helped the gender revolution even more- women are being treated right in their work places now such that they are willing and able to come out and work, allowing gender roles to finally change. Thus, this again shows how the changes in management in workplaces are vital to the gender revolution.

angelsong(114) Clarified
1 point

'to participate in the shrinking workforce.' - what does this mean?

Should elaborate - develop HOW technological progress frees women to work - in factories, press button/push lever. At office, use computers, fax machines etc which do not need brute strength. Giving PRECISE examples is better than general points.

The precise point by author about changes in management is a shift from confrontational style to cooperative style. Not really addressed in your answer.

1 point

5.Still stuck in grandparents' traditional mindset.

Chan Wai Leong claims that despite advancing technologically, the people in the modern age are still stuck in the mindset of our grandparents on the issue of gender revolution. To this argument, I disagree that majority of the people are still stuck in the traditional mindset as with the progression of time, it is observable that people are becoming more accepting and open minded. Though the change is a slow-paced one, people are becoming less resistant to females having more control and power. An example would be that in America, a lady called Sarah Palin, stood foward as a Presidential Candidate from the Republican Party in the elections. Not only that, she garnered a total of 57,371,284 votes in total. Therefore, while she did not obtain her goal of becoming the next president, it was a monumental step forward for females and a clear indication of the astounding progress they have made in this gender revolution. Hence, I disagree with Chan that people are still stuck in the grandparents' traditional mindset in this modern age.

pataritonang(4) Clarified
1 point

"majority of the people" - a rather bold statement. How majority measured and in what context does the majority refer to. Maybe a better word to use would be many?

Yuhui(6) Clarified
1 point

Erm, I said that I disagree that majority of the people are stuck in the traditional mindset, so that's not my point of view, but the view the writer has.

1 point

KRISTAL

The article stated that ' Fortunately, the conflict can be averted by a different explosion-of Knowledge. ''.Increased knowledge from scienctic research does not necessarily fix conflict between genders. Therefore, i disagree with Chan's view.

This may not be true or helpful because while there may be the availaibility of this knowledge, if this knowledge was not put into action, and translated into the way the males and females behave with one another, then there is no point of this. Furthermore, if the way they behave with the other gender became habitual for them, it will take some time, or even never, when the people change and compromise after recognising that it may be due to the biological make-up. Therefore, it may not be a key factor in helping man and woman live without conflict.

1 point

4)Increased knowledge of science fixes conflict between genders.

Agree:

With the increased knowledge of science in genders, it helps the both parties to identify their respective strengths and weakness. This way, roles in the society could be allocated to different genders based on their respective strengths. The gender that may be weak in one area such as men being adept at calculating rapidly and accurately could be allocated to the engineering sector where accurate calculations could be done to avoid errors. Women who tend to learn a dozen things at the same time could be allocated to sectors where such strengths are required. This way, the society as a whole could function efficiency, without both genders being stressed out to work harder just because they are biologically weak in that area. This will then cause many to stop arguing about the difference in equally rights such as women who are handling jobs supposedly for men that it is too tough for them and therefore they should be more lenient.

bryangoh(4) Disputed
1 point

Paragraph could have been more developed in depth and relating it back to the Singapore context for more examples would be good!

1 point

I agree with Chan Wai Leong's view that the advancement of technology is one factor that causes gender revolution. It is due to the fact that work can be completed efficiently and this allows woman to be able to participate as jobs are now "less back-breaking". Moreover, in today's society, women and men both have equal standing in the work force. In Singapore, women are given the opportunity to do what men are doing. The idea of women taking up important positions in the company shows that we are now open to the idea of gender revolution. They are able to show that they are capable and therefore, should be given the rights to work. Furthermore, there are successful women who have arised to the challenge of gender revolution due to technology and the changes in management which Singapore practises.

1 point

Clear explanation of the meaning and how gender revolution is brought about, but more specific examples would be good!

puyuyu(11) Disputed
1 point

you might want to improve your paragraph by giving more explanations on why technology has allowed 'woman to be able to participate as jobs are now "less back-breaking'. furthermore ,you could have elaborated more on how technology has helped with the rise of women in the workforce in your example.

1 point

Chan claims that we cannot insulate from the force of change. I agree with this point as if the mindset of society changes, the children who are brought up within the changed environment will not have same the traditional mindset as people in the past. This can be seen in today's society, where women are able to have equal opportunities as men when the perceptions of society changes. When women were finally able to step into the workplace, the society's perception of men being the sole breadwinner of the family, and women being housewives, changed for the better. The paradigm that women should only be housewives is no longer valid in today's society since women were able to perform the same tasks as men. This ultimately results in equal employment opportunities since large corporations in today's society will not discriminate against gender while hiring. Therefore, the people cannot prevent themselves from being changed by society since the future generations who grew up with different values will not have the same mindset as the older generations.

1 point

It is pretty clear and has a logical flow. But perhaps you could explain some changes to society that may influence the change in attitude? And also how it changed for the better.

1 point

Logical with elaborated explanations on how people cannot stop themselves from being changed by the society. However, explanations require a more substantial and clear example to better support explanations.

1 point

Chan mentions in his argument that gender revolution is unrecognised and unacknowledged in today's societies, that we remain stuck in the old-fashioned and traditional mindsets that the previous generations have passed down. I agree with his point. In my society, Singapore, many still abide closely to the traditional values and perceptions of the two genders and their respective roles, perceptions that were passed down for many generations. The Gender Revolution, however, has challenged and overthrown these traditional assumptions of the roles members of a gender should be assigned to. The idea that females should remain in the domestic sphere and carry out household chores, one that many traditions subscribe to, has been overthrown by the fact that more females are entering the workforce and making vast contributions to the economy. However, many in my society do not recognise this fact and choose to hold onto the old-fashioned mindsets. Despite that fact, the Gender Revolution is not being overlooked by the Singapore government, which promotes education for all, and equal work opportunities, regardless of gender. They acknowledge the enormous potential in female labour and has invested much into educating them to become contributors to the society. Overall, i support Chan's stand as the efforts of the government do not equate to the mindsets of the citizens and it is apparent that Singaporeans largely do not recognise the Gender Revolution.

hYang(6) Disputed
1 point

Need to provide concrete examples that Singaporeans largely do no recognise the Gender Revolution. Some Singaporeans no longer have the mindsets of our grandparents as the perception of women as housewives is not true in Singapore anymore.

1 point

With reference to the passage, Chan feels that changes in management in the working industry started the gender revolution. I agree with his view. Management has evolved from confrontational to a more co-operative style. If the management remained as confrontational, this would discourage a lot of women to not enter the workforce as women might feel threathened. This change in management not only encouraged women to enter the workforce, it also made women feel important as they could now contribute more to the growth of their companies. This also implies that it has now become much easier for women to climb up the corporate ladder as people are not judged by their gender alone, but more in terms of their contributions and capabilities. In Singapore, the change in management style is shown by many women having top-paying positions in the workforce. Moreover, there is an increasing number of women who are becoming more involved in politics. All these highlight the distinct shift in management style, as women do feel more comfortable in the workforce, leading to them taking high-ranking positions along with contribuyting significantly. In addition, the increasing use of technology also allowed more women into the workforce, as jobs became less physically exhausting. Thus, the change in management indeed started the gender revolution.

1 point

There is a clear flow in ideas and a link to the Singapore context. Hmm. Perhaps you can explain why women might feel threathened? You know, to show the change between the two working styles.

1 point

Chan wrote that we are still stuck in grandparents' traditional mindset. I disagree with his view as in today's society, we can see increasing number of people, becoming more liberal and no longer have the mindset of their grandparents. Meritocracy is being practised in some society and equal opportunies are given to both genders. Males are not given special priorities than females. The mindset of females as housewives and males are the breadwinners of the house is long gone. For example, in my country, females are allowed to work and some even occupies top positions in the company or corporation they are working in. In addition, females are given the chance to learn and study in school. However, in some parts of the world, people are still stuck with these grandparents' mindset. But as the world continues to grow, I believe these grandparents' mindset will slowly start to erode just as how these grandparents' mindset are being eroded in my country. Therefore not all of us are stuck in our grandparents' mindset.

1 point

Showed the difference in Singapore as compared to other countries to make your point that people have their own mindset and not our grandparents' mindset.

1 point

Chan claims that due to technological advancements, women are granted opportunities to be equal with men in the workforce. I agree with his claim because manual labour is greatly reduced and women do not have to rely on physical strength in order to work. With advanced technologies, women are able to get work done with the click of a button. In addition, advanced machineries has reduced the tediousness of manufacturing factories as well and by operating these machines, women are able to complete the work with efficiency that is now on par with men. This has encouraged employers to employ female workers as well. This has resulted in an increasing proportion of women engaged in the labour force all over the world. with the exception of Northern Africa and Western Asia. Therefore with technological advancements, women are now more empowered with tools to work since manual labour is reduced. This hence increased the participation of women in the workforce and eventually gave opportunities for women to shine in the workforce as well.