CreateDebate is a social debate community built around ideas, discussion and democracy.
If this is your first time checking out a debate, here are some quick tips to help get you started:
Arguments with the highest score are displayed first.
Argument replies (both in favor and in opposition) are displayed below the original argument.
To follow along, you may find it helpful to show and hide the replies displayed below each argument.
To vote for an argument, use these icons:
You have the power to cast exactly one vote (either up or down) for each argument.
Once you vote, the icon will become grayed out and the argument's score will change.
Yes, you can change your vote.
Debate scores, side scores and tag scores are automatically calculated by an algorithm that primarily takes argument scores into account.
All scores are updated in real-time.
To learn more about the CreateDebate scoring system, check out the FAQ.
When you are ready to voice your opinion, use the Add Argument button to create an argument.
If you would like to address an existing argument, use the Support and Dispute link within that argument to create a new reply.
You can share this debate in three different ways:
#1
#2
#3
Paste this URL into an email or IM:
Click here to send this debate via your default email application.
Click here to login and CreateDebate will send an email for you.
How can I win my friend Ismaila back?
Recently me and Ismaila got into a debate about wheither blacks should be allowed to use the "N" word. She said we are all one human race so I agree with her when she said that color shouldn't stop whites from saying it. My agrument is that if we take a actual stance some blacks care and some don't. It just depends. I said tgat I just wouldn't say it in front of them because they may find it offensive because that word carries its history but whites or any races can still say it. I just choose not to. I think she misunderstood what I said and now she believes I'm racist. I tried telling her I'm not but it didn't work. Is that the end of that friendship or what?
Ismaila, you may not want to hear this right now, but I think you need to hear it. If drama follows you wherever you go, maybe you are the drama. LizziexLaura is one of the nicest people on this site, so if you can't even get along with her then you have to consider that maybe you're the one causing the drama. Have you noticed that nearly every big drama on this site has involved you? So that means either everyone on the site is targeting you with drama, which is unlikely, or you are the drama because you blow things out of proportion. I'm not saying this to be mean to you, I'm saying it because I think you're making yourself miserable and I want you to be happy.
Have you ever seen me get into a huge battle between someone on this site? No, because I don't let things escalate to that point. If someone is rude to me I simply ignore them. Back when RandomDude was going through his trolling phase he told me to screw myself for no good reason. Did I get all upset and start hurling insults? No, I said "I love you too" and that was the end of the conversation. Why should I let someone make me upset when I can simply ignore them and move on with my life.
If someone disagrees with you in a debate, don't freak out about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion even if you don't agree with it. If someone is trolling or being rude to you, don't let it get to you. Just ignore them. You need to examine how your response to the situation will affect you. If someone says something rude to you you can either get angry and start calling them names, or you can ignore them. Which one do you think is going to make you feel better and which one will make you feel worse? Life is too short for drama. Do things that make you happy, not things that make you angry and miserable.
I know you've had a rough life and I'm very sorry for that, but you need to realize that you're making it even harder by engaging in all this drama. Do yourself a favor, next time someone says something that upsets you, just take some deep breaths and ask yourself, "will getting upset make the situation better, or will it just make me miserable?"
Well, start of with the things I just said. Ignore rude people, and don't overreact when someone disagrees with you. I know you struggle with depression. I myself was severely depressed when I was younger. So here are some life lessons that I've learned over the years that changed me from a miserable person into a happy person.
DON'T LIVE IN THE PAST
It's important to look at life as a timeline and to keep your mind in the present, not the past. Here is an example of what I mean. Let's say on Monday someone says something hurtful to you. It's now Wednesday and you are still thinking about what happened on Monday. Essentially what you are doing is going back in the past and reliving the event over and over in your mind. Why would you do this to yourself? It sucked the first time, why put yourself thought it again? You need to leave that horrible event in the past and live in the present. When you find yourself thinking about a bad event in the past just think to yourself "Is the event over? Yes. Is reliving it over and over in my head going to make me feel worse or better? Worse, so don't do it!" With enough practice you will be able to let things go in minutes, not days.
YOUR THOUGHTS CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS
If you spend all day thinking about depressing things, guess what, you're going to feel depressed. The reverse is true too; if you think about happy things all day you will feel happy. Even though you would think this would be a no-brainer, you wouldn't believe how many people don't seem to make this connection. I spent 10 years of my life completely miserable because I focused my thoughts on the negative aspects of life even though I had a pretty good life. Take some time to examine what you think about all day. If it is mostly negative things, you need to recognize that you're the one responsible for yourself feeling miserable by focusing your thoughts on negative things. It's important to train your brain to focus on positive things. We are creatures of habit, and breaking habits can be difficult to do and can take time. If you think about negative things all day, it's going to become a habit. The longer you do it the harder it will be to break that habit.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER
When you encounter negative things in life you need to first ask yourself, "Can I do something about it?" If the answer is yes, then write down the necessary steps to make the situation better and do them. If the answer is no, then you need to accept that it can't be changed and stop thinking about it. Thinking about it is just going to make you miserable.
EXAMINE WHO YOU ARE
Are you the kind of person you would want to be friends with? When most people think about the qualities they want in a friend they think of things like caring, empathetic, respectful, honest, humble, positive, thankful, fair, and patient. The qualities that would make someone not want to be friends with you are uncaring, selfish, disrespectful, dishonest, egotistical, negative, whiny, ungrateful, and impatient. I highly recommend that you spend some time at the end of each day looking over all these qualities and see which ones you exhibited that day. If you did things that were on the negative list you should think about how you could have handled the situation differently, and see if there is someone you should apologize to. We all make mistakes in life and do things on the negative list, but the people who work each day to improve themselves and who make amends for their bad behavior are the ones who end up happy in the end.
If there is something you don't like about yourself you have 2 options, you can mope around feeling sorry for yourself or you can take action and change it. Make a list of things you would like to change and the steps necessary to make those changes. Most importantly, make sure you follow through with those steps.
I don't give myself any labels. That way, I can't be offended. If you think liberals are stupid, it doesn't matter to me because I'm not a liberal ;)
I don't care about the issues. No one has the power to do anything about them so if they say they are for something I am against..., it doesn't matter. There's nothing they can do about it. So I just say, "Good luck with that." ;)
If that were true then NO one would be able to judge because perfection is impossible. Though in my personal opinion I'm perfect just the way I am, because I'm happy with who I am.
Everyone judges, no one is perfect in everyone's eyes, so therefore you're saying everyone is a hypocrite.
This is an intellectual conversation, at least on my end, but perhaps you mean an intellectual topic. I'll agree this is anything but. You always fail to argue your point with me, instead turn around and insult me.
Everyone is judgmental by the ways, therefore, based on what you said, everyone is a hypocrite, meaning no one deserves respect. Which is just sad. I don't believe you have thought things out very well.
That is a wonderful argument, simply stating that I am wrong with no explanation.
Seriously though, I may be, I may not be, but at least I bother to explain my opinions.
I really wish you wouldn't take everything I said to you and twist it around to the point that you feel the need to attack me. I want to have a civil conversation with you, but every time I try you're anything but civil.
Then why do so many people know so much about your personal problems in your life?
If you're so bored then you would do the intellectual thing and stop talking to me.
I like how you're trying to act nonchalant when in reality I know you're all fired up. Due to something you said in a previous debate about caring far too much about other's opinions.
Why don't you do something good for yourself and quit replying to me? You keep asking me to "leave you alone" when all you have to do is quit replying and I will. It's ridiculous how upset you make yourself. You can make yourself happy, but you keep putting yourself in situations where you can't be. I don't feel bad for pushing you like I am, when you can easily remedy this.
I'm not harassing you, I'm trying to have a conversation with you. But there you go again, freaking out. Even though you apologized and said you wouldn't... I'm a little disappointed.
Well, since you refused to reply to my conversation rationally and started just telling me I am wrong, and a liar, and judgmental, and a hypocrite, and a hating ass female, then yeah, after that maybe.
i am very intellectual, actually, which is why I loathe people who waste my damn time. Now if you are going to keep being a hater, run along. I have things to do. I REFUSE to kiss your ass.
I would really prefer that you didn't kiss my ass, just the idea makes me uncomfortable.
If you are intellectual then why don't you act like it when I try to have a civil conversation with you? If you believe I am wasting your time then why don't you try making my more intellectual side feel like this is worth it.
And when you say things like "hater" it just makes me think I'm talking to a teenager... I believe you're in your forties, correct? So you should probably act like it. I'm not trying to be rude, but if I didn't see your age on your profile awhile ago, I would believe you are MUCH younger than you actually are.
Lol, I'm a "hating ass female". Yes, perhaps I am, my opinions are harsh and I'll admit I judge harshly as well, but you make it easy. You keep putting yourself in these situations that you make yourself look bad. But that was amusing, I haven't heard an insult from someone in so long.
She went totally overboard. I saw how nice you were being even thought she kept being unreasonable. At this point theres nothing you can do, cuz its really her fault.
She wasn't being a bully, and she never called you that. I was talking about how you responded to her, not to other people. She was being really nice and you just kept cursing at her and refusing her apology (not that she needed to apologize in the first place).
Just leave her alone. If she is your friend she'll come back to you. If not then you can find better, more tolerant friends. Either way its a non-issue. If she wants to burn bridges then let her burn them.
I'm still here for you. You just misunderstood what I said previously. I'm not sure if I worded it wrong or what but I am sorry. I am not a racist or a backstabber especially if it following your good advice. I do not even know how to reverse the confusion any more.
Then you better change your userpic because that would be hypocritical and may I say if anything you are treating me like shit. I have not insulted you but you insulted me.
Why exactly are you having a go at SovietSpy, when he's done pretty much nothing? He asked why about the friendship. You replied about minding his own business, etc. Yet, this is all on a public debate? Really, you shouldn't be having a go at the poor lad when he's done nothing.
No problem. Everyone elses opinion is irrelevant and should not effect you in any way. If they cannot find respect to you then its up to you to react the same.
Yeah. The question for the argument was "Should black people be allowed to say the "N" word. Her arguement is a good one and it that we are all one human race and we shouldn't discrimanate or restrict actions because of colors. I agree with her but I just thought that It would be odd to restrict blacks from saying it. Also it carries a huge lineage of history with it because of well you know what happened. I said that any race could say it but just maybe not infront of blacka because they may take offense to it and it may offend others.
Mainly because we both took up two morally upright sides. I said that even though everyone is equal i don't think taking black peoples right to say the "N" word is a nice thing. I also think its wrong to say it if the probrability of offense is present.
