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Lugenpresse But Mein Frankfurter
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I Have Decided To Forgive Bronto And High Falutin, With A Few Small Conditions

1) I must be the new fuhrer. From henceforth it must be I who you think of when you stroke your genitalia at night. 

2) You must do your duty equally as you did for Trump. I expect you to attack liberals every time I commit a sex crime.

3) You must both take two years of school so that your opponents cannot use the "but he's an idiot" defence.

I look forward to our long and prosperous future together with I as your glorious leader. We will gas the liberals and the Muslims. Probably the Mexicans too. 

Lugenpresse

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But Mein Frankfurter

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