But didn't you know? Jesus was a free market Capitalist!
I mean haven't you heard all those famous sayings of his?
"Render unto Ceasar that which is caesars, unless he's trying to tax you then riot in the streets"?
"It is easy for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven... by riding on a Camel holding a needle"?
"Blessed are you who are rich, and comfortable, and well fed.. because wow, thou are doing great for thyselves and are very industrious workers!"?
"Sell your possessions at a hefty profit, and use the proceeds to buy thee a big fancy boat"?
"'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine was totally justified, bunch of lazy shiftless layabouts should go get a job if they don't like it!
Surely you have heard these well known teachings?
I don't know if that's necessarily the case, it seems to depend on where you're looking. In wealthy first world nations that fetishize capitalism you tend to find a lot of money grubbing Jesus praisers... in societies that place higher value on other social focuses you tend to find people who champion those causes doing the same thing.
In general, I think you'll find the real pattern is that people always declare Jesus likes what they like, and who pay minimal attention to what Jesus actually is supposed to have said in that bible thing they wave around but rarely open. Which is an amazing coincidence, don't you think?
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