A black boyscout and a white boyscout are hiking together when the white boy gets bit in the ass by a rattle snake. The black boy takes out his boyscout handbook and reads "For snake bites, you must make sure to suck all of the venum out. Failure to do so may result in death." The white boy asks, "What does the handbook say? What does the handbook say!!!" The black boy says, "Handbook says yo is gonna die!" ;)

What did God say when He created the first black person?

Opps I burn't one. lol

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Sergeant, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sergeant.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, " I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

Two Hunters are out in the woods. Halfway through the day one of them collapses to the ground, hand clutching his chest, his fingernails start turning blue and his eyes roll back into his head. His friend in a panic dials 9-1-1.

The hunter says "Help, I think my friend is dead! What should I do". The emergency operator in a calm voice says "Take it easy. I can help. The first thing you need to do is to make sure he is dead".

There is silence and then a shot is heard.

The hunter says over the phone "Okay, now what?"

The newlywed couple checks into their honeymoon suite and the bride is just super eager to get it on...she strips off all her clothes and immediately jumps on the bed and starts giving inviting stares and poses. The groom is way more apprehensive..he slowly kicks off his shirt...then his shoes....when he takes off his socks she notices that his toes are all weird twisted and deformed and she says "honey what's wrong with your toes?" he stammers " I, I maybe I should have told you, but I have a rare foot disorder called toelio", "TOLIO? don't you mean polio?" she asks. "No like I said, it's a rare foot disorder called toelio, Im sorry it's just that..." "I don't care get naked and get over here!" she interrupts. He seems reluctant as he slowly unbuttons and takes off his pants. He's standing there in his underwear when she notices his knees are just as strangely deformed as is toes, all funky and bent weird. "Darling what happened to your knees?" she asks. "I am sorry it's just embarrassing but I also have a very rare knee disorder...called kneesels" he mumbles. "KNEESELS? don't you mean measels?"..."No, no... rare knee disorder hardly anyones ever heard of it its called kneesels" he answers. "Well it doesn't make me want you any less, now drop those drawers and let's make some noise!" Relieved he takes his underwear off and as he approaches she shrieks "OH MY GOD! that is the worst case of smallcox I've EVER seen!"

The disagreement between Bohemian and Thewayitis.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Actually, numbers are abstract concepts, and therefore incapable of feeling fear.

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/Jokes_Anyone_Funny_and_Clean_If_You_Can

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/You_might_be_a_terrorist_jokes

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/the_best_jokes_you_have_ever_herd

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/Blonde_jokes

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/Tiger_Woods_Jokes

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/Obama_jokes

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/ A_list_of_things_to_ponder

http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/ funniest_pick-up_lines_you_ever_heard

The liberals are asking us to give Obama more time. And I think 25-to-life would be a good start.

What? The biggest joke is the slap fight between Bohemian and TheWayItIs. It has been entertaining and quite amusing.

lol this is funny. When someone seems to get on your case about something...you say...

You got beef with me son! .............(silence)..........Too bad im a Vegetarian! lol :D

Hockey is a racist sport because there is a bunch of white guys hitting a black puck around. (:/ yea, now you know).

Golf is a perverted sport because it symbolizes a white ball going in holes. "Hole in One....:/ yea now you know what it means."

Basket Ball is a racist jokes because there is a bunch of black guys who RUN, AIM, AND SHOOT. :/ shame, now you know.

Soccer teaches a bunch of mexicans how to work together to jump white and black people. Hence that is why the ball is black and white. :/ yeah, now you know.

What do you call a man with no arms, and a horn growing out of his head?

.

.

.

.

.

"names"

This is a cruel practice. Stop clubbing baby seals....only the adult ones.

Two sailors are shipwrecked on an island inhabited by heartless natives. "You have a choice," says the island king to the first sailor. "Instantaneous Death or Chee-Chee." The first sailor gulps. "I choose Chee-Chee" he says. There is a loud gong. "You have chosen Chee-Chee," announces the king, and two large, sword-wielding men appear, chop off the sailor's arms, disembowel and skin him, and leave him in a steaming bloody heap to die. "You have a choice," says the king to the second sailor. "Instantaneous Death or Chee-Chee." The second sailor is pale and sweating. "I guess I'll take Instantaneous Death," he says. There is another loud gong. "You have chosen Instantaneous Death" says the king. "But first, Chee-Chee!"

Once upon a time, there was three hunters who went to hunt illegally in a jungle. Soon, they were arrested by guards and brought in front of the King. The King told them: "If you don't follow my command I'll will kill you instantly." The three hunters, fearing for their lives, agreed to obey the King.

The King then sent the hunters to gather 10 fruits of any kind, and return to him only when they had done so.

The first hunter returned with 10 bananas. The King went on to tell the hunter that the bananas are going to be stuffed into his asshole, and if he can resists changing the expression on his face, he will be set free. Otherwise he will die. So the guards started stuffing the bananas into the hunter's ass and at the fifth banana, the hunter changed his expression. He was executed immediately.

Soon after, the second hunter returned with 10 cherries. The King told the same things to the second hunter and proceed with the stuffing. But just as the guards were stuffing the ninth cherry, the hunter started giggling. He too, was executed.

In heaven, the first hunter asked the second hunter, "DUDE! You were SO CLOSE to be set free! WHY DID YOU GIGGLE?!"

The second hunter replied,"While I was picking the cherries, I saw the third hunter carrying a basket full of Pineapples!"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

"Knock knock"

"Come in"

What's worse than sneezing once?

Sneezing twice.

What's worse than that?

The holocaust.

What's worse still?

Sneezing three times.