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Debate Info

5
9
True False
Debate Score:14
Arguments:19
Total Votes:14
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 True (5)
 
 False (7)

Debate Creator

ghostheadX(1104) pic



No one will ever want to go out with me!!! :(

I've only had one girlfriend who dumped me for what was in my journal and then told people a few years back. I have a mental illness so I was uncomfortable with her doing so and she didn't like what was in my journal and so we broke up. I have no confidence and I have depression. Depression is unnatractive right? I know nothing about girls, but I was wondering if this is true.

But this got me thinking, not just for me but for depressed people in general, are depressed guys unattractive is basically what this debate is about and what I started thinking about recently. I have tons of other problems but those are irrelevant to this debate, so yeah.

True

Side Score: 5
VS.

False

Side Score: 9
1 point

It is true at the moment, and probably will continue to be so if you don't break the cycle of your pre-occupation with your self diagnosed depression. Your condition can be be addressed and, almost certainly redressed by professionals and modern drugs. There are a number of things which you can do to help yourself such as joining a gym and involving yourself in group exercises. This form of physical activity with an associated social element is recognised as a great ''depression buster'', more effective in many cases than drugs.Your constant whinging and expressions of self pity will repel most people away from you, as pretty much everyone has their own problems. You may have mis-diagnosed your alleged depression for what is your naturally morose personality. Start to work on how to brighten up and consider other folk's problems and try to help them instead of looking for sympathy from everyone you meet with your hard luck stories and the ''oh poor me'', syndrome. Wouldn't you just love to meet someone like yourself on a cold, wet Monday morning as you plod your way to work at 6.30 a.m.? Get down to the gym and give yourself a kick up the backside. Getting a date is a numbers game, the more you ask out the greater the chances you have of sipping champagne in a smoochy bar with a beautiful sexy chic. Never take no for an answer.

Side: True
Nomoturtle(856) Clarified
1 point

You are partially right but you have no clue what you are talking about. Empathise with this problem if you can. If not, try not to spur another suicide. (In future not for this case) your words may lead to a successive recovery as equally as they might tip them off the edge.

Side: True
1 point

True, depressed people are incredibly unattractive. People have no idea what to do with you. And when they try to help you don't know what to do with them. It's a shitty place and you will likely never get a girlfriend who is not also in a depression bubble. However it is (while tiresome) very easy to step outside of your bubble of shit momentarily to appear as a normal person, as I'm sure you often do for many day to day social interactions. This will obviously not stop any thoughts you may have or change your perspective to any significant degree, but will allow others to communicate with you past your shit bubble as if it was invisible. As a victim for 7 years or so of depression I can tell you that you clearly haven't been depressed long enough if you have yet to find unrealistic and unconquerable answers. But the best answer I can imagine is to cleanse in some sort of passion or talking to friends. I've asked such before and many here agree with me that humans are ridiculously social creatures. to a fault even. But merely step out the bubble and talk to others (just some trivial small talk) and if you can find people who have not seen your bubble and grow to love you in that time. By then you should probably be normal through indulging in normal. If not then they will be more inclined to deal with you if depression persists.

Side: True
1 point

Well, if you are depressed, you either overcompensate with a crap-ton of confidence or exhibit terrible self-esteem. From your description, I am assuming the latter. Low self-esteem is definitely considered ugly by many cultures. Other than medication and therapy, I don't think there is any other way to resolve your issues.

Honestly though, everyone is depressed sometimes. The outward appearance is different because people compensate differently. The two extremes I presented are not the only ones. "Fake it until you make it" works sometimes. However, please do not take my arm-chair psychotherapy to heart. Just remember you are not alone in your struggle, even if it feels like it.

Side: True
2 points

Not true.

After 30 years as a mental health clinician I have first hand experience and know many people well who have meaningful relationships with partners who care and are considerate of their partners problems and issues.

Just because someone has an illness does not preclude them from enjoying the best they can from life and I hope you have, or will find, the support you need to do whatever it is that you want to achieve.

Side: False
1 point

i was never in a relatinship and i am still happy .. see the brighter side of your life. you would feel better :)

Side: False
ghostheadX(1104) Clarified
1 point

Let me put some of my problems this way...

They aren't limited to relationships. I'm fucked in terms of trying to have a relationship for the time being, but I'm fucked for the time being in a lot of ways. A lot of them are social, but there are other regards. I know the brighter side of my life. I know I have a much higher than average IQ (which matters more in my life than being nice), I'm at a good school, I'm nice, I have some (not a ton) friends, and I'm definitely not poor. That said, I have a lot of fucking problems, that I think outweigh the good. Its really hard to find the silver lining in my life, at least for me.

Side: True
mithoo19(806) Clarified
1 point

your problem: you think that you are the only one who is having a very bad time.

if you are sad allthe time ...how do you expect others to be happy and cheerfull around you and not irritated.

depression is unattractive ..right but a pertson who over comes his hurdles is quite attractive :)

Side: True
1 point

You don't know that. You are a gifted person with a lot to offer. Just work on yourself before you attempt a relationship. I am 34 years old and I am not ready. A relationship involves work.

Side: False

I've only had one girlfriend who dumped me for what was in my journal and then told people a few years back. I have a mental illness so I was uncomfortable with her doing so and she didn't like what was in my journal and so we broke up. I have no confidence and I have depression. Depression is unnatractive right? I know nothing about girls, but I was wondering if this is true.

But this got me thinking, not just for me but for depressed people in general, are depressed guys unattractive is basically what this debate is about and what I started thinking about recently. I have tons of other problems but those are irrelevant to this debate, so yeah.

One of my friends have depression. We can tell it affects their social life so we just try to hang out with her more often. Guys didn't have a particular interest in her due to her depression. I think you can still find someone who will go out with you. You just have to find that person.

Side: False

Well no girl likes a guy who's constantly depressed. So technically yes it is unattractive. Im thankful I have someone who would stick by me even if I was depressed alot. Im sure once you get over your depression you'll find a girl who likes you for you.

Side: False
1 point

Ever watched anime or movies the main character is always a depressed loner kind of guy. Depression draws sympathy. Sympathy after after some time turns into affection which will give rise to love. Therefore you will be attractive for a different category of girls.

Side: False
ghostheadX(1104) Clarified
1 point

What category of girls? The hyper nice ones? The angry ones? I can't see who would be attracted to a depressed person. It seems counter intuitive. How do you define "category?"

Side: True
ghostheadX(1104) Clarified
1 point

Ever watched anime or movies the main character is always a depressed loner kind of guy.

How is this relevant? I think I'm going to start a "Why is My Life So Boring?" debate because my life isn't like that. lol. I believe you about the movies, etc. but in real life it's like yeah I wish.

Side: True
Amritangshu(892) Disputed
1 point

But he wouldn't be attracted to that category of girls even if they are attracted to him,give him better solution.Such category also suffers from a speechless melancholy.

Side: True

Better follow my advice,ask the girl who broke up with you to come to you since you are suffering very much and I'm pretty sure she would definitely come;tell her that the doc has told you , 'If you don't see your lover for at-least one day then your health would deteriorate faster;Look at her response;

Side: False
ghostheadX(1104) Disputed
1 point

I don't know if you are a troll of if you are just dumb. I'm really sorry.

Side: True