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Debate Score:9
Arguments:12
Total Votes:9
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ChamberLedo(35) pic



I wouldn't want my kid to be gay same as I wouldn't want them into BDSM or porn.

I have this issue come up with my parent-friends on occasion, and unfortunately, since I would not like my children to be gay, it becomes a problem. So I am looking for a statement that will defuse the situation and hopefully not leave me looking like the devil. My reasons have  nothing to do with religion or nature - I'm all about sociology....so the title is my comeback statement.

REASONING : Personally as an adult, I feel those lifestyles are okay, and I'll gladly be friends with the kinkiest bitch you can find (because if THEY got daddy issues it's doesn't affect me).....but for MY kid, I just can't be okay with it. I'm using BDSM and porn as my examples because they are similar in way of "alternative sexuality". I cannot find studies done, but I get the impression that a very large percentage of gay-male relationships are not monogamous or long term. When my best friend came out to me I remember him lamenting to me about that issue...and have a few other personal examples. Gay women are different - they are easily long term and I've met a few that were just like hetero couples, but I've also met many that were political agenda-drivin bulls (I say that cause my aunt is one and of course all her friends at her parties were and such, talking about teaching kids in elementary school about being gay....personally I never saw any of my teachers as sexual-beings and never knew a damn thing about their personal life......I don't believe people even fully understand sex until they're older anyway...like 30's) obviously that put a bad taste in my mouth. My point is - they tend to be lifestyles that greatly affect family structure. I have strong communication with my children and I don't want our relationship to turn into one where we are always ignoring the elephant in the room...
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2 points

I'm neither agreeing nor disagreeing with you because I don't know what I'll do when my own boys are finally old enough to be sexually active. But I'm certain of this, I'm not going to reject them if they make a choice that I would not. I'm going to focus the whole time they're growing up on the importance of choosing wisely and then we'll see what sort of young adults they turn out to be. And then if it turns out being one of those things is truly what makes them happy then as long as it's legal and they're otherwise good people then I'll accept it.

ChamberLedo(35) Clarified
1 point

Oh yes. I agree with you, and that is how i raise my kids as well. I will love my children no matter what they do...even parents of murderers never stop loving their children. I should have clarified I would never shun my kids, never ever.

I cannot find studies done, but I get the impression that a very large percentage of gay-male relationships are not monogamous or long term.

While much of the gay community does engage in casual sex, it is by no means universal. It sounds to me like what you don't want your kid to be is non-monogamous or noncommittal, which has nothing directly to do with their sexuality.

If you don't want your kid to engage in relationships that are not monogamous or long term, the thing to work is on and talk with them about should have nothing to do with who they love.

So basically, while I respect the reasons you listed, I don't think they actually have any basis in homosexuality.

but I get the impression that a very large percentage of gay-male relationships are not monogamous or long term.

I find this statement extremely obnoxious and manipulative, since it suggests that you know enough gay people to make such a ridiculous generalization. ESPECIALLY since the majority of heterosexual marriages end in divorce in most countries in the western world.

ChamberLedo(35) Clarified
1 point

I said "i get the impression" meaning i do not know, its just been my experience. This is debate. This is why i asked the question. There are no studies on the percentage rates of long term gay-male marraiges otherwise i would look at that. I am asking peoples opinions here cause i have an open mind to debate. If you have different evidence please give it to me.

shoutoutloud(4303) Clarified
1 point

My point was that if your concern is monogamy then your worst bet is to hope for your son to be heterosexual.

1 point

I don't want my kid to scrape his knee. I don't want my kid to break his arm. What point are you trying to make?

ChamberLedo(35) Clarified
1 point

My point is that i honestly at this point feel it is okay to not desire your child to be homosexual. Almost everyone ive talked to does not agree with me, and heated discussions insue were i am marked as the big bad wolf the second the statment leaves my mouth. I would like to know if the comparison will help people see my point of view, or if they will just get further offended at my opinion.

2 points

I don't think you are expressing yourself accurately to these people. Ask them why you would want a gay son. If you make it sound like you don't approve of gay people existing you will get backlash.