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Debate Score:17
Total Votes:19
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Warjin(1577) pic

Post funny offensive religious jokes, (warning enter at own risk)

Lets have a little fun, post, repost or make your own funny offensive religious or athiest jokes or meme.

Warning: if you cant stand the heat might want to get out the kitchen.


Heres one to start it off:

Q: What's white and zips across the sky at 100 mph followed by a band of angels?

A: The coming of the Lord.


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3 points

A priest and a paedophile walk into a bar, the barman says evening father having the usual?

3 points

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you religious?"

He said: "Yes."

I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"


"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"


"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"


"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

3 points

An Englishman, Frenchman, Texan and Mexican are on a plane thats goin to crash they realise that if they lighten the load some of them might survive so the Englishman steps forward and says I dont mind sacrificing myself shouts God save the Queen and jumps out but the plane is still tooheavy so the Frenchman steps forward shouts vive le France and jumps out but the plane is still too heavy so the Texan shouts remember the Alamo and throws the Mexican out.

2 points

Q: What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

A: It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

2 points

A father walks into an Atheist man's house, and says, "Will you look into finding Jesus?" The atheist says, "If you look into finding evidence."

Q: How did Obama's mother taught Obama to not jump on the bed?

A: She put Velcro on the ceiling. ;)

joecavalry(38493) Clarified
1 point

Since there are people out the who consider Obama to be the messiah, I consider this to be a religious joke ;)

A guy walks up to me and says "praise the lord" so i said "gods not real you moron go read a textbook"...

0 points

What did the vampire say to the lady teacher?

See you next period!!

0 points

An old one; when I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me ... and I got it!