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Debate Info

30
10
YES NO
Debate Score:40
Arguments:24
Total Votes:42
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 YES (15)
 
 NO (9)

Debate Creator

Argento(512) pic



Should polygamy be legalized?

 

Think about this:

In the eyes of the law, it is ok for a man to deceive his partner and secretly go and have an affair. He won't be jailed for it.

But if the same man speaks to both females and tells them "hey, I love you both, do you both want to marry me" and they all agree to it, then that same man is up for jail time for polygamy.

So, should polygamy be legalized?

YES

Side Score: 30
VS.

NO

Side Score: 10
4 points

I think people are making a huge deal out of this when it really isn't.

We don't punish people for cheating on their spouses, but we do if they come clean and invite both parties to a mutual partnership.

That implies that we are not really concerned about the truth, just as long as we all maintain that image of a perfect society, where everyone lives with one partner happily ever after. So it's ok to cheat as long as you do it secretly.

If you think that it would transform our societies into the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, then remember this: just because you legalize it, doesn't mean that we are all going to want to do it. And if most married men cheat anyway, then perhaps we already are Sodom and Gomorrah, albeit with a thin coating on top to hide the truth.

I know a few people will use "children" as a wild card to dismiss this, but think about it first. At some point all children will face the reality of being in love with two people. But currently that is a taboo, and the only option is to pretend you are not and then have a secret affair. However, if polygamy was legalized, and we were more open about it, people will find it easier to come clean and own up to their feelings.

Let's not forget that polygamy is not a modern concept. People have done it for hundreds if not thousands of years. Some societies allow it even today. And children are raised in all kinds of family set ups: single parent families, grand parent families, and families made of friends or relatives. So maybe we shouldn't get all high and pious when a child is raised in a polygamous family.

If all participating parties are adults, and they are happy to go into that kind of arrangement, then what is the big deal?

Side: yes
2 points

I find it quite believable that one person can love two or more people at the same time. People have been soaking up romance stories for so many generations that they've gotten the firm impression that each person only has one true love and loving someone else is an unforgivable betrayal, but that doesn't turn it into a truth. I'm capable of platonically loving my mother and father at the same time. I don't see why I'd be incapable of romantically loving two people at the same time.

And even if someone marries several people just for sex rather than love, that's hardly a basis for banning polygamous marriage. Many monogamous marriages occur for sex, money, fame, and other factors, but we don't see laws banning such marriages. So why should polygamous marriages be banned for the mere possibility that they're not love marriages?

I can understand furtive polygamy (marrying one person, then pretending you're single and going off to marry someone else) being illegal, because it can cause all sorts of legal troubles - spousal privileges, child custody, and the shiz - in addition to the deception that's involved.

But I'm all for open polygamy - whether it's a matter of one person openly entering into separate marriage contracts with two or more people, or several people getting together into one big marriage. There will be legal hurdles involved with legalising polygamy, but they're not insurmountable.

Side: yes
churchmouse(328) Disputed
0 points

Got news for ya........nothing goes on in the United States that didn't go on in Sodom and Gomorrah.

You say just because we legalize it does not mean that we would do it. So that makes it ok for society? And the truth is...if something is legalized it becomes moral. Abortion was illegal, immoral at one time...prior to 1973. Now although it is still stigmatized for all the right reasons...it is ok to do and we do it well in the US. We kill more unborn children than anyother country in the world. So much for the abortion law. And because its legal doesnt mean that everyone will do it.......BUT statistics show that the majority of women get them. So what makes you so sure after group marriage was legalized that the majority one day wouldnt do it ? You don't.

You talk about feelings like they are nothing, not special, just ordinary. It's not about love really, its just sexual. One of the most dangerous and damaging emotions that can rip and tear through a family is that of jealousy. And do you think that there is any jealousy in polygamist marriages and relationships? Do you think children would or could get hurt in relationships where daddy cant keep it in his pants and has relationships with all sorts of different women?

And what happens if you bring a STD home? Or if you got them pregnant?

Rape is not a recent concept either....so whats your point about polygamy? Murder was around too......is that good and beneficial to society?

Side: No
Argento(512) Disputed
2 points

You say just because we legalize it does not mean that we would do it. So that makes it ok for society?

No, it just makes it ok for those that want to do it.

I wouldn't go out and marry many times just because the law allows me to, would you?

And the truth is...if something is legalized it becomes moral.

Really? The death penalty is legal in some states and yet a lot of people would argue that the practice is still immoral.

Abortion was illegal, immoral at one time...prior to 1973.

The only fact in that sentence was that abortion was illegal. You can't describe it as universally immoral because you would have to speak on behalf of every living being at the time, and presume that you know what their feelings where on the matter.

Now although it is still stigmatized for all the right reasons...it is ok to do and we do it well in the US.

Well it's not ok for everybody, is it?

You don't see every pregnant woman in the country line up to have an abortion just because it's legal, do you?

We kill more unborn children than any other country in the world. So much for the abortion law.

No one is killing "children". Abortions don't kill living "children". But that's another debate.

And because its legal doesnt mean that everyone will do it.......BUT statistics show that the majority of women get them.

Show me. Show me the statistics.

Furthermore, what does abortion got to do with a few people agreeing to live together and love each other?

So what makes you so sure after group marriage was legalized that the majority one day wouldnt do it ? You don't.

I don't, no. But then again I don't care if they do. So what if they do?

If the majority decides to do it, then all that proves is that all this time we were suppressing the majority into not doing it. Just so that people like you, who are uncomfortable with the idea, can live in a world where everybody else abides to their ideals and lifestyle. Even if they are forced to do so.

You talk about feelings like they are nothing, not special, just ordinary.

What? Where did I say that?

It's not about love really, its just sexual.

Well you don't know that, do you?

We're not talking about fuck-buddies here. We're talking about people who are in love and have a lot in common, and want to share their whole lives together.

One of the most dangerous and damaging emotions that can rip and tear through a family is that of jealousy. And do you think that there is any jealousy in polygamist marriages and relationships?

If you are the jealous kind, then clearly polygamy is not your thing. So that point is void, because the people that would be willing to partake in a polygamous arrangement are clearly not the jealous kind.

Do you think children would or could get hurt in relationships where daddy cant keep it in his pants and has relationships with all sorts of different women?

Well, children are already getting hurt in relationships where daddy can't keep it in his pants and has relationships with all sorts of different women SECRETLY.

Those are the truly hurtful relationships because when the truth comes out (it always does) both children and spouses feel betrayed and everything falls apart.

But in a polygamous relationship, daddy doesn't fuck around with unknown women. No one feels betrayed because no one is lied to.

And what happens if you bring a STD home? Or if you got them pregnant?

Well you're not bringing STDs home because you are not having sex outside the home.

And if you got them pregnant, then they would be having children... Like any family.

Rape is not a recent concept either....so whats your point about polygamy? Murder was around too......is that good and beneficial to society?

Rape and murder are violent actions that happen without the consent of the victim.

There are no victims in polygamy, and the participating adults do it with their consent.

Side: yes
3 points

Yes as long as all parties agree to the multiple marriage. I wouldn't accept polygamy for fraud or deceit. However if all parties agree i.e existing wife and husbands then why should it be frowned upon?

Side: yes
3 points

Frankly, if a romantic relationship can be harmed in any way by having someone love another, you don't really love them, you just want to keep them from loving anyone else. Marriage was born of envy, not love. To be honest that's the whole role of marriage in the modern world, an excuse to be selfish. I believe the best solution would be open marriage, which is like typical marriage, except with no inherent sexual component.

As is, spouses are trophies, not partners.

Side: yes
2 points

The government does not have a right to define marriage in any way, especially from a religious stance. For whatever reason our government decided that you had to have a license from them in order to get married.

This only proves that when you give your government even a little wiggle room on a simple issue like marriage the repercussions can be vast if not immediate. Naturally, the law started telling people who could and could not get married. Interracial marriages, polygamy and as we see today, gay marriages were all prohibited because the government deemed them not worthy, and mostly for religious reasons, which is simply a slap in the face to every American.

Leave it up to the church (for people of that religion), the people who are getting married, just get the government out of it. Nobody owns marriage, and i don't care what religion you represent. Marriages were around before the church took an interest in them in the middle ages, and were done more for business like purposes than anything. The truth is that no one should be able to tell anyone they cannot be married, leave your bigotry at the door, people are going to lead different lives that don't revolve around your simple minded idea of how the world should work. If the church wishes to outlaw polygamy or any other form of marriage and refuse to marry people for whatever reason, go right ahead and do it, but don't push your ideals on the rest of the world that might not adhere to your God.

Side: yes
2 points

Meh! If everyone consents then what the hell... but they shouldn't get special tax advantages.

Side: yes
1 point

It is already legal here for the Muslims under the agreement of the first wife.

Side: yes
1 point

It actually should. Just because it is legalized doesn't mean it should be done. I mean I feel like with polygamy, the amount of cheating and deciet will be a lot less. When you enter a polygamous relationship, you are aware that your husband will be with another woman.

Side: yes

For those who condone polygamy, it should be allowed. It would really fall under freedom of worship.

Side: YES

The reason polygamy is outlawed is because the want to make sure that there are enough women to go around for like everyone ;)

Side: No
1 point

"Other things being equal (and, to a good first approximation, they are), when one man marries two women, some other man marries no woman. When one man marries three women, two other men don't marry. When one man marries four women, three other men don't marry. Monogamy gives everyone a shot at marriage. Polygyny, by contrast, is a zero-sum game that skews the marriage market so that some men marry at the expense of others.

With a effectively parity between male and female populations worldwide and in most societies and communities, allowing men to marry multiple wives carries the risk of leaving many men with now wives to marry. The costs of this effect are enormous. It can be devastating to these men and their hopes and dreams.

Supporting Evidence: Quote Source (www.reason.com)
Side: No
casper3912(1581) Disputed
1 point

1] The sex ratio isn't always 1.

2] Also, there is no reason why one man can't have multiple wives, and a few of his wives can't have multiple husbands. Or why the population of gay men couldn't give up their would be wives to another man, etc.

3] Nothing is fair in love or war, if you can't score a wife because you can't compete; i'm not one to limit a girls choices down so they have to choose you. Welcome to the right of failure, maybe the human race will evolve faster.

4] Population is determined by numerous factors, as is sex. Polygamy may very well change the sex ratio and population numbers by changing how resources are allotted, what seasons and thus what diet the mother is on before conception(which can affect the sex of the baby), etc

Side: yes

This is why we MUST allow gay marriage, so that other men can marry more than one woman and those men without wives can marry each other ;)

Side: No
1 point

If you were to allow polygamy, the matter of love is effected. Love is where you are committed and dedicated. However, if you have two wives it simply means that you are not dedicated to one.

Side: No
Argento(512) Disputed
3 points

Well, true love is not limited in quantity.

By your argument, parents that have two or three children love each child less than parents who only have one child. But is that true?

Side: yes
zephyr20x6(2386) Disputed
1 point

yes but thats only applicable to the people who marry more than one person, if people are allowed to marry multiple people and have true love, well they chose that kind lifestyle, is it harming anyone else. you can't force the true meaning on love on everyone, polygamy just isn't my cup of tea I want to feel like im the only one my partner wants, and I would never cheat on my partner, but if a group of people decide to get married, sure they may never find true love, but thats there choice.

Side: yes
1 point

Government shouldn't be in the position of determining what amount of love could/would/should exist in any marriage.

Side: yes

Nah. I'm too selfish and possessive to share the person I love with someone else. It also tends to cause a lot of drama.

There was also how it used to be only acceptable for MEN to marry several women. It would be better if both sex could marry other people equally...

But in general: No. I personally wouldn't like the idea of sharing someone who should be devoting himself to me.

Side: No
3 points

The question is whether it should be legal - not whether you would do it.

It also tends to cause a lot of drama.

Marriage tends to cause a lot of drama... ;)

Side: yes
1 point

Saying that polygamy is better than an illicit affair is setting a very low bar.

Side: No
1 point

I agree, but then again affairs aren't illegal.

Side: NO

Polygamy degrades women's rights and promotes chauvinism.

While usually I'd go after the choice of freedom for these people in a case like this, polygamy is one that I act like a cranky feminist towards.

Polygamy is generally a religious practice. Religion is nice, until it starts hurting people's rights; in this case, polygamy hurts the rights of women by giving men the power to have more then one wife, making women more and more the property of their husband alongside their fellow housewives. The only reason these women agree to such a degrading religious practice is because they were indoctrinated from youth to believe that it was right... for them to have less rights then a man.

When polygamy is not a religious practice, it is exclusively emotional slavery that a man holds around the woman's emotions like a chain. He 'couldn't choose' so he slowly pressured them into 'not forcing him to choose' thus resulting in a polygamous relationship that is unhealthy for the females psychological profile.

End over end, I don't believe in polygamy because it's a chauvinistic ideal that perpetuates the idea that men should be able to have whatever they want and women should just submit to their rule and care for their children.

Legalize it, you say? Go fuck yourself, I reply.

Side: No