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Should sexual relationship before marriage be supported or not?
My issue is that Sexual relationship before marriage should be discouraged! Personally, I discourage this idea and support that sexual relationship should start and be experienced only after the marriage. I wish everyone had one goal and principle - PURE INTENTION AND PURE LOVE! Let’s see how many people have the same opinion and how many oppose me? Thank you very much for your active paricipation and interesting, unique opinion in advance, i hope it will be a very interesting topic to discuss peace )))
I think that sex before marriage is bad for you. for example, according to my culture's mentality, the main reason for bad side of sexual relationship is people's belief about the first sexual experience and it's effects on marriage. specifically, if you have first sexual experience with your wife/husband, he or she will not be unfaithful to you.
Yes SaniyaB, I agree with you not just because of your mentality but because of the real risk! please read the article to have more information. :) http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
I believe that sex before marriage is bad since it gives doubt to couples. For an example, the woman had sex with 50 men before getting married. Well that seems kind of unfair for the man. I believe that giving one`s virginity after marriage is the best gift that couples can give to each other. As a Catholic I believe that the body should be treated as a holy sanctuary not a mall in which anyone can enter and get out so easily. If people have sex all they want then the only difference they have with prostitutes is that they have sex without pay. Another is that there would be an increase in the number of abortions since there would be an increase of teen-aged mothers and Fathers would go all Usain Bolt on them after having sex.
On a Scientific note. I believe that sex before marriage could cause the spread of diseases since they would have sex with anyone and they themselves would suffer for it for the sake of a few minutes of pleasure. Discipline is important in maintaining a harmonious relationship. Seal your future first before succumbing yourself to pleasure. Safety first!
dEAR eZEKIEL_ROMA, please take a time to read this article and have more information. Because there is a very huge possibility for the wolrd to have more and more problems .. Let's have healthier and purer life!!! http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
It is obvious that man should remain a virgin until marriage because that is one of the best gifts a spouse can give one another besides an offspring. It also builds trust in the marriage since they haven`t slept with anyone else.
In a health lifestyle perspective, it is also practical since it is safer due to the less contact with external disease intake from sexual intercourse from multiple partners.
Although you bring some decent points regarding avoidance of sexual diseases and treating body as sanctuary, i do not fully agree with your reasoning. It's nice to give virginity as a gift to your partner, but if let's say we won't have any strong chemistry, I am destroying my happiness in life. It's all cute to think aww he is giving me his virginity, but if you don't enjoy it and still marry him because of respect, you are not making yourself happy.There is too much to risk with one partner when you cannot compare to others. I think mature relationships form when one knows what he/she wants in their relationship. You first have to know what you like, before you decide to keep it for the rest of your life.
You have to try different foods in order to know what you like to eat. You cannot just naively go after the first dish you see. You might or might not like it.
When i say women and men are not monogamous, I don't mean it's okay to screw around. Having maybe 1 to 2 partners max before marriage is fine, as long as of course birth control is used and of course the couple has to be mature enough mentally,physically to be having sex.
I totally disagree with 13 year old teens having sex at such young age. Not only most kids have sex because of social acceptance and peer pressure, as you say they are traumatizing their future marriage. If their first experience is bad, this can lead to emotional trauma.
I say have sex in a controlled environment, where you like your partner a lot. You are mature in making your own decisions and taking proper precautions.
Yes you have a point. But there are other ways for a person to find happiness in marriage without sexual intercourse. Forgive me for I am just in a relationship but this is my point of view.
Sex is only one part of happy marriage. If for an example sex is the only thing bad about the person you love while he or she performs better in his or her responsibilities and makes you happy due to his or her efforts then they are worth it. Obviously teen sex is bad. But young-adult sex is considerable since they have already placed a foot hold on their future.
While having sex is good to find your true happiness, it does not necessarily contemplate that of a harmonious relationship since some people oversee the relationship as a mere exchange of pleasure rather than a responsibility of keeping love in check. A person can find happiness in their partner in many ways not just in sex.
An example would be a woman being a victim of Aids due to wrong intake of blood. But she has a lover and they are happy with each other due to their experiences with one another and they would make a harmonious relationship. It would mean that they can marry but they can`t have sex. So its worth it since sex is not the only way to find happiness in a relationship.
I think it should be discouraged, too many people rush relationships before they are ready for the consequences.
however that does not mean the couples whose choose to engage in sexual activities should be punished, it is a choice that should be made between the couple alone
I absolutly agree with you!!! please check this article out, it is based on academic researches and I think it is very educative and useful especially for our generation. we want better generation. say stop to HIV AIDS ABORTION STI !! http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
First marriage - then sex. According to American scientists just such a sequence is the key to a lasting marriage.
Those who took the time to engage in sexual contact, waiting patiently for the wedding night, are more satisfied with their relationships
As a result of research conducted by the Institute of Family Life (School of Family Life) in Utah, found that couples who delay intimacy until the wedding night, it is much better to get along with each other compared to those couples who have begun a relationship with sex. Here are the figures lead scientists
Stable relationship - higher by 22%
Overall satisfaction with the relationship - 20%
And even the quality of sexual life increased by 15%
This result, they explain the fact that a relationship in which there is room sex before marriage is based, rather, not on trust, loyalty and affection, and the physical attraction to each other. "Relationships - it's more than sex. I think the point is that couples who are not in a hurry to intimacy, learn to talk to each other - says project leader Professor Dean Busby, - no matter how much these people are religious. Waiting helps in building better communication within a relationship for a long time and it improves stability. "
Do you think that the rights of a professor? Do I have to play Russian roulette, ignoring the possibility of sexual incompatibility and similarities / differences in temperament to please a strong family or from such statements close to the medieval customs show bloody sheet on the morning after the wedding?
Great points!! for more interesting information please check this article out: http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf We want better future without HIV AID STI ABORTION..... :)
If you walk that far before marriage, why marry someone? You might as well have kids without getting married either. True that marriage is not insurance against separation, neither having kids, but that's the best we got. Hell, might as well copy Brave New World. That would have been great wouldn't it? We are humans, and society is acting closer to animals each day. Human minds should be more profound that just letting entropy get to it.
very clear point! i support you! please check this out for more information! http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf everyone should choose healthier and reasonable choices! )))
Anyways guys.... thanks for taking part... I created this debate for my project though... your opinion helped me alot, same things for the people who were against :) by the way, it is not my first language indeed. and sorry for being impolite... it was fun though ;)
I believe that sexual relationship before marriage should not be. In my culture this is unacceptable. First sexual relationship have to be with someone with whom you want to live whole your life. If you want to have sexual relationship before marriage I think that it should be your fiance.
What would happens if you get pregnant? What will happens if your boyfriend are not marring you after the sexual relationship. People might believe that you are selling yourself (whores) because you loses your virginity to someone before marring.
People shouldn't have sex because it's evil and wrong, and if you have sex before marriage the little troll living in the woman's vagina will bite off your penis. On top of this, having sex before marriage will cause the Devil to anally rape you in your sleep until you cut off your balls.
you think i am idiot? I will see how YOU will be like when your doughter will have 10 times abortion before marriage and get HIV and Your son will go to prison harrasing a 5 year old doughter of your granddoughter just because you have such a poor imagination and very little brain! asswhole! check this out instead of calling others idiot. this is discussion... not a place to argue! http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf !!!
"I will see how YOU will be like when your doughter will have 10 times abortion before marriage and get HIV and Your son will go to prison harrasing a 5 year old doughter of your granddoughter just because you have such a poor imagination and very little brain!"
What?! That doesn't even make sense! Especially that part about your son going to prison for harassing a 5 year old. Where does this "logic" come from? This is a debate, not a "hey, let's make up some random-ass scenario to make ourselves seem smarter" shit fest. Make sense, damn you!
And after reading that, yes, I do think you are an idiot. Learn to spell.
It's indeed possible to crash a car while test driving it. And once again, your grammar and overall sentence structure is atrocious. Is it really necessary to put that link in EVERY SINGLE POST?!
Would you buy a pre mod car buy others? Would you like to buy a new car with 50 - 100 miles on it or 5 miles on it. I got my new car 19 miles on it and I know exactly how it go there. Sex is at the level of you modifying your car. That's all I'm saying.
Hi Hellno! nice question. But have you ever truely fallen in love? I know many people who have! How would you feel if a very experienced but your beloved would reject you just because you are not experinced and not good enough, yet?
Hi Gozel, sex is important in any marriage... many marriages have ended because one or both partners aren't happy in the sack. It's only common sense to get a little freaky at least a few times before sealing the deal.
Yes your right but the problem is that most of the couples who engage in sex are not ready for the consequences that sex offers. They use pills? They might become barren. They use condoms? They say it doesn't feel good. They do it for pleasure? Then there is a chance on unwanted pregnancy. Sex is a very risky ordeal and has a great chance of destroying the future of people who are not ready for it. Sex is easy to do. But building a future is not.
That is one of the reasons why third world countries have high population which then leads to poverty since their land cannot support them due to their high population over land ratio. That is because they think that sex is so easy and there are no consequences to it. Think about this. What if you got aborted because your mother was inadvertently impregnated. Would not it be fair for you? That is because the couples now a days are selfish that they do not think about the future of children after they do it.
Family planning should be done first before sex to ensure that the future of the world are well taken cared of.
well... do major teenagers have sex just because they want to get married to that person?? Please think objectivley! What happens if that sex was not successful but the woman becomes pregnant. it ends up with abortion doesn't it? what about people who are ill with HIV AIDs and just use some silly girls or boys?? Don't you think that after having sex with different people for a few times before marriage makes a person more and more unsatisfied and he/she starts comparing them?? Where is pureness of love?
do major teenagers have sex just because they want to get married to that person?
Irrelevant. Save that for a teenage sex debate.
What happens if that sex was not successful
Don't marry that person.
but the woman becomes pregnant
Condoms!
what about people who are ill with HIV AIDs
You're really in the weeds now but again, condoms!
Don't you think that after having sex with different people for a few times before marriage makes a person more and more unsatisfied and he/she starts comparing them?
I am not saying that it is not important! the matter is-> the consequences! in order to avoid the problems that are getting more and more we should understand the cause, the reason! that is why we have debate. debate is not about winning, it is about finding the best answer, the best sollution! PLEASE CHECK THIS OUT! http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
Uhhh... this is your third reply to my same argument and I ain't changin' my mind. As for the link, sorry, I only click on links posted by trusted users that I've known for a while.
have fun with your mind though... the fact is fact ... your mind doesn't mean that it is perfectly correct... and it is your choice whether you will read the link or not... no need to tell me that )
whatever... if you don't understand doesn't mean I have not written correctly.... I told you work on growing your brain, this is the first thing you've got to do... then everything will be clear for you!
Actually, I don't normally nit pick about spelling and grammar but when a person suggests that I'm stupid yet I can't even understand what in the hell they're talking about half the time, I'm going to say something.
I think we're all in agreement that your grammar and spelling need work. Nothing you say makes any sense to us civilized people. Try learning English before you attempt a convincing argument, alright?
Furthermore... "many marriages ended up becouse of their sexual relationship" has a very wide meaning... that relationship might be spoiled because of their attitudes... . on the other hand, it might have one adventage, but a lot of disadvantages.... So, as it is obvious the risk is bigger!
Why should sex be only within the confines of marriage? What would that possibly add to anything? It wouldn't really do anything except stifle adolescent sexuality or, worse, make a lot of marriages where the partners divorce because of sexual complications that they would've known about before if they had had sex before marriage.
"The only way to avoid these consequences of the Sexual Revolution is sexual abstinence outside a mutually monogamous lifelong relationship with an unifected partner"
I smacked my forehead so hard there will be a red mark for weeks. Using misinformed or uninformed articles like this will only hurt your case.
I facepalmed as well. That is a ridiculous statement. Why would anyone even want to wait until marriage to have sex? It's like buying something and you don't even know what it does. Plus, it couldn't hurt to gain a little experience first to make things a bit more interesting, right? ;)
Of course it should be allowed..........!! No one has the right to restrict the pleasure of sex. Our life, our decision....!! If you look, in no other living creature there is restriction on sex.... they do it when they want. even we should have no restriction. but there is one problem, all animals have sex during their season. during the other times, they never think of sex but enjoy their life. but humans think of sex every now and then and hence forget to enjoy other pleasures of life......... !!
Especially, in our century living in democratic countries every man makes their own decision and takes their own states. No one have rights to forbid people’s decisions. Anyway, we should not lose our conscious awareness of our choice.
Humans think of sex every time because the society supports it with the mass media conditioning of women with object, we as men are more stimulated by only hand shake. But this gives you not the right to have sex with my sister just because you want it, it should be something that you consume in intimate moments with you beloved wife or husband after your wedding night, that the biggest gift, to explore everything you want without tabou in marriage, but not like a dog to have sex and next day you leave her for another
no one is saying that it should not be allowed! please do not misstake the word SUPPORT with ALLOW! it is your choice to have sex before marrige or not, but this issue is worldwide and there are bad consequences! check this out http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
I think that when having sex it tells you not only about how good they are at it but other things about them! Do they get nervous when they are only trying to figure out what you want? It can tell you a lot of things that can help you get to know a marriage! I think that you should wait until your married to have a child but a sexual intercourse before marriage is perfectly okay so long as both people have consent
you can learn about all of them after the marriage... true love is based on trusts and on tastes that you are adicted to and have no chance but be together... http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
It should be supported.. Marriage has nothing to do with whether or not people LOVE each other. Marriage exists with and without love. Not that I even think sex before love is wrong, who are you to tell people when they ought to have sex? They can do sex with someone they don't love, just like they can do other activities with someone they don't love. Maybe YOU save sex and other things only for love, that's fine and your business... but others don't have to.
yes, if you will have sex with one or two (if not succeed in relationship) through your life and have it because you really love and respect each others feelings. http://www.jpands.org/vol13no3/malhotra.pdf
There is no cause to surrender our humanity to contracts to declare our feelings. A stolen kiss isn't a crime but a celebration , a warm bed at first light is an invitation to enjoy what follows........
A rule of thumb for me is to always take things in moderation.
I do not believe that sex before marriage is necessarily evil, nor necessarily good. Like many things it's not black or white.
So with dealing with something obviously not black or white, I tend to argue for a simple middle ground. I do NOT support promiscuity (in fact, I am vehemently opposed to it), but I am NOT in support of taking away the freedom of lovers.
When sex is destroying someone's life, or destroying the lives of many people altogether, it's obvious and can be spotted. But taking away the right for two people in love to do whatever romantic things they please with each other is... well, wrong. They aren't harming each other or other people. In fact, they may even be growing closer! And whether or not they are married won't necessarily change that or make it more or less significant.
For there is a difference between sex before marriage and promiscuity. A vast difference. To assume that they are the same, and are both immoral, is a sweeping generalization, and therefore an incorrect, and perhaps even immoral, thing to believe.
Moderation is subjected to change through time, location, and situation. Moderation in itself is a fake scheme that created by society, which is slowly morally diluted with propaganda to fit the desires of majority. And the majority will have less order / behave than fewer. It is normal according to physics of entropy. I'm not pointing fingers to say people are wrong, I simply think that I do not support. However, define marriage. Does paper or ceremony dictates that? All can all, it's down to monogamist, else we are no more than rabbits and donkeys.
Moderation in itself is a fake scheme that created by society, which is slowly morally diluted with propaganda to fit the desires of majority.
I don't think there was any question over the moral ambiguity of propaganda. Whatever it does to the majority isn't irrelevant, but that isn't to say you let it's effect on society change what you know to be right and wrong.
It's obviously wrong to allow two people the freedom to spread disease and illness and emotional distress among themselves in ignorance. And it is obviously wrong to limit the rights of two consenting adults who seek to specifically not harm others and instead just prosper together.
Therefore, there is a middle, moral ground, in fact and reality, regardless of whatever happens to one corner of society or the other due to cultural manipulations.
I'm not pointing fingers to say people are wrong, I simply think that I do not support.
I think it's plenty acceptable to point fingers at people who are truly ignorant and/or immoral. But just because you have a responsibility to point the finger at one behavior doesn't mean the opposite behavior is any better just because it's opposite.
Again, there is a middle ground. Finding it is key to solving the issue; not taking one extreme side or the other.
Human minds are generally perceptive to all kinds of experiences. We are all drown and fall asleep in the pleasure that we get under our 5 senses. Moderation as I said has migrate from gray to darker gray, from darker gray to darker than darker gray. Saying one thing rather than another and label right from wrong is just creating duality out of nature. Life doesn't run on binary. Sure there is no right or wrong, but you are responsible for your action. If you think the trade off is great then do it. However, the moment you start moving an inch further, you have just slowly moved the standards up or downwards.
1) Sure you can just go out and create sexual relationship, but don't expect people to value your body more than just an agreement of 2 people's pleasure.
2) Your parents spending years to raise you as a person, it's not how you can do whatever you want to fulfill your feeling as a person, it's how you respect yourself as a person and not become a tool of sexual pleasure.
3) Moderation from what you're saying is only based on what you want in your mind where you body can experience. It's just as subjective as all your 5 senses. As I said, we're all asleep from sensation of pleasure.
4) Marriage doesn't guarantee happy couple, but it's the best tool we got to prove honesty.
5) We start from 1 to go to 10, say if society is at 5 , I think you get the idea. Pleasure in many people's mind is hard to stop and with most people are irresponsible, I think u get the idea of divorce, family problems, kids everywhere, and we're paying for welfares.
I agree with you KrittMasta, you clearly explained most of the things just exactly how I have been thinking.... there were some new points of view as well, that I liked :)
If life is not a duality, how can you argue that sex outside of wedlock is wrong by basis of responsibility? Don't go out of your way to contradict yourself; there is a right and a wrong or there is not.
1) Sure you can just go out and create sexual relationship, but don't expect people to value your body more than just an agreement of 2 people's pleasure.
You don't seem to have followed my argument, at all. And here I thought the downvote was for a good reason.
Promiscuity isn't a good thing. But neither is it a good thing to scold ALL SEX OUTSIDE OF WEDLOCK. That is the moderation. That is the neutrality of the issue.
I apologize for using the improper wording for my point. When I said 'moderation' I don't mean 'have sex with whomever in moderation'. I meant the moderate, the neutral, the in between opinion in this argument. The neutral argument being: it should be not supported that people fuck for no reason other then hedonism, but it should be supported that couples who intend to get married or spend their lives together, regardless of whether they are bound by wedlock at the current moment, have sex.
2) Your parents spending years to raise you as a person, it's not how you can do whatever you want to fulfill your feeling as a person, it's how you respect yourself as a person and not become a tool of sexual pleasure.
Life does not necessarily have anything to do with this statement. Furthermore, not all parents raise their children in this way you describe.
This isn't to say I agree with promiscuity, though. It's quite stupid. But the radical opposite is just as silly.
3) Moderation from what you're saying is only based on what you want in your mind where you body can experience. It's just as subjective as all your 5 senses. As I said, we're all asleep from sensation of pleasure.
I did not convey my message properly, because this isn't the point I was intending to argue. Again, my apologies.
5) We start from 1 to go to 10, say if society is at 5 , I think you get the idea. Pleasure in many people's mind is hard to stop and with most people are irresponsible, I think u get the idea of divorce, family problems, kids everywhere, and we're paying for welfares.
Responsibility is perspective if you're going to stick to the idea that there is no right or wrong. I ask that you please do not contradict yourself.
Chatturgha, right and wrong is subjected to culture, morals that you have, and law of the land. It's like arguing if unplugging veg patient is a good thing or a bad thing.
1) I would never scold all sex. At some point in time, when middle age crisis rush in, I can understand as everything unfolds. I guess my point is that we see all teenagers or many premature relationships that are taking this too lightly. And yes, long long relationships, I agree. Marrying is just a paper, if you're going to live together for the rest of your life or you plan to then I don't see bad thing out of it. You just have to respect what you have and live with what you promise.
2) Life has everything to do with the creators, in this case, I'm not exactly Christian, I'm talking about your parents. At least respect them to show what you got yourself into. They are the best love you got. It's not like they know everything, but you should think it through quite well before moving on.
Dealing with things that create life should be taken just as serious as doing things that will take life away.
3) Ok, I'll take it back then.
5) I have not contradicted myself. Responsibility means you take the good and the bad with what you did. You take a full ownership of the cause and the result of your actions. You are mixing the concept of black and white, good and bad with responsibility. It's law of causation.
Note: Imagine you have an 16 year old daughter and she's been sleeping with a dude in High School. Sure that's illegal in this country, maybe not others, but I'm sure you would not be happy with. That is call responsibility that I'm asking.
Another thing, human minds tend to escalate from 1 to the next. Look at our constitution today, it's kaput long time ago. Sure things change, but when u move with out thoughts and dial back when there're bad consequences, then you get bad result for society. Virginity is not everything. I can understand the unlucky ones.
Last, most important thing in life is the mind, body, and actions of yourselves: not materials, pleasures of any beings, or fame. Those do nothing but cause troubles.
Chatturgha, right and wrong is subjected to culture, morals that you have, and law of the land.
No, they are deeper then that. Morals are subject to logic, reasoning, and brain chemistry. Because of this, there is such a thing as a universal morality. Just because culture contradicts universal morality does not mean one culture thinking murder is right makes murder truly right.
Marrying is just a paper, if you're going to live together for the rest of your life or you plan to then I don't see bad thing out of it. You just have to respect what you have and live with what you promise.
Then you obviously support sexual relationships outside of marriage. If marriage is 'just paper' to you, then you've already seen and agreed with my point.
They are the best love you got. It's not like they know everything, but you should think it through quite well before moving on.
If your parents do not respect your adult ability to make choices for yourself, they aren't worth respecting. That's like saying that because your parents raised you, you have no right to elope should they not agree with your plans, which is outrageous. Nobody considers eloping lightly, nor do all people take sexual acts lightly. Those that do are doomed to suffer the consequences. 'Respecting' your parents is a fairly irrelevant incentive, considering you can become diseased, have need to bastardize children, or have the need to raise children as a consequence, all of which are pretty huge risks to just have sex with random strangers you have no connection to. If such things don't incentivize them into choosing to be responsible, they will rightfully suffer the consequences.
Dealing with things that create life should be taken just as serious as doing things that will take life away.
Agreed, but considering this debate is generic in that regard, it's obvious that applying this logic means that plenty of sexual acts outside of wedlock are okay. Not all are, but there are some, meaning you support sexual relationships outside of wedlock by applying this logic you are applying.
You're just being picky about it.
I have not contradicted myself.
This was months ago, you've lost me.
Imagine you have an 16 year old daughter and she's been sleeping with a dude in High School... but I'm sure you would not be happy with
If I didn't know the boy, I'd have to rely purely upon my daughter's word to know she's not being used, so yes, I would not be happy. If I had the ability to know she wasn't be used, then I would not mind her being intimate with someone she loves.
Sure that's illegal in this country
Actually, most states in the United States nowadays have an age of consent starting at age 16. So no, it would not be illegal. Not in my state.
I don't understand the second to last paragraph.
Those do nothing but cause troubles.
No, life is about living. It's about pleasing yourself without making others suffer and then making yourself be satisfied with the results. Pleasure without any concern for others is foolish, of course, but you're being narrow with an actually generic concept. Life was not meant to be lived with restrictions outside of your comfortability and others comfortability. When those two things are satisfied, you have harmony. If one or the other or both are not, you have conflict.
Which is why it should be supported only in moderation. As I said, I am vehemently against promiscuity. But, I cannot allow that position on my part cause me to hinder the rights of two people to simply love each other without harming anyone in the process, whether it be themselves or anyone else.
Why does it make a difference if a guy in a dress says some magic words as to whether you can have sex? Having consensual sex harms nobody (well, unless they want to be of course), and therefore cannot be considered immoral.
So what you're saying is that people should only ever have sex with one person, and that person has to only ever have sex with you? And for some reason you're not allowed to start having sex until an arbitrary ritual is performed. Do you think that being married means there is no risk of unwanted pregnancy or STDs?
i am responsible for what i say, not for what you understand. the meaning of marriage is not limited in ritual as your weak thinking lets yu know.... the real meaning is trust and promises by heart, people marry when they truly belive that they love each other and belive that they wat to live with each other for ever or for a long time.... you can have 30 different people per month if you wish so and if yo think it is ok.... but we are talking about the majority of people in the world! and...u should remember that this is just a vertual debate,so be objective, no one is going to stop you from doing what ever you want to do....
Majority is not always correct. Besides, marriage is a legal contract, it has nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. Two people can get married even if they absolutely hate each other! Just like sex. Two people can fuck if they hate each other. In fact, I think it's better that way. And why the fuck would you want to have sex with ONE PERSON for the rest of your life?! I get bored in relationships so easily and if I was limited to one person, I would go insane!
So you think that it's impossible to love and trust someone without marriage? That would inply that the marriage ritual has some sort of magical ability to facilitate "true love". And the reverse is true, you think everyone who is married wants to be, or is perfectly in love with their partner?
Of course. The idea that sex before marriage is immoral is completely ridiculous. More sex results in better mood and health (most of the time), and the urge to engage in it is natural and not something to feel guilty about. I feel sorry for the people that get indoctrinated to think otherwise.
Well, i believe that we should have sex before marriage. First of all, because true love does not mean necessarily marriage...How many married people don't love each other like they used to? How many of them never actually did? So it's not just "true love" if you get married...
True love, in my opinion, is more than rings and a dress because you can commit one to another, without the titles, and the big party. Of course, that if you're a religious person this may not apply to you, as you don't see it this way.
Also, the sexual aspect of a relationship must be considered not as a bonus, but as something important to both man and woman, woman and woman, or man and man (whatever the case is).
So we should know one another before we take the big step (being that marriage, living together, etcetera).
Anyways guys.... thanks for taking part... I created this debate for my project though... your opinion helped me alot, same things for the people who were FOR :) by the way, English is not my first language, indeed, it is 5th...and sorry for being impolite...but it was fun ;)
Why should sex before marriage be bad? Its better if you had your share of experiences before you got married, because you won't lust in your marriage as much. Did you know that after having sex a couple can tell what type of chemistry they have? They wouldn't have otherwise known without it. So go do your research.
Biologically speaking did you know that by nature, humans are not monogamous creatures? Most mammals have social monogamy, meaning they pair up to mate, raise an offspring, but still have affairs. The concept behind it is, by having multiple offspring from different fathers allows the female to increase the genetic variation. This increase improves the chances of the '' fittest of all'' to survive in a long term in harsh environments and improve genes for future generations. I am not making this up, this is natural. So why are you surprised if men/women cheat? It's in their nature!
Monogamy was invented to keep an order on couples, but it is not a natural state of primate species such as monkeys or humans. So i am not surprised when a husband has a sexy smart wife still looks around for affairs. I always thought men would kill to have such wife, why is he cheating? The reason is biology. New studies have shown amazing facts, many examples, i was blown away by it. Of course you cannot always blame it on nature, we are not primates anymore, we are homo sapiens, how foolish of us if we cannot control our own biology. (Apparently not, there is a high rate of cheating among couples). Where is your dignity, honor?
It's interesting that women, lets say have a sexy husband,still need to go out to get attention from other males. Women won't accept this, but it's true. We need to feel accepted not only by our husband, but by other males. We need to feel wanted. How pathetic as it sounds, but true. This is a form of cheating as well! Maybe minor, but those thoughts are there. This was programmed right into our brains.
Humans are controlled so much by their instincts, that they cannot control their urge of not cheating. If they don't cheat they fantasize..that's worse. I say have a balance, whenever you get those thoughts always remain calm, and always imagine how would you feel if your partner betrays you. Right away you snap out.
It all depends how much you can control your urges. If the respect between your partner is so strong, like mine, i would kill myself before cheating. I would feel so guilty, i wouldn't be able to live with myself. Marriage should be build on respect and then love. Whenever i have those thoughts of infidelity, I am aware and I defuse my own biology. My husband knows about this, and we openly talk about it.
And yes, sexual relationship must be supported to see the chemistry/compatibility in the couple. A lot of virgin marriages fail because of lack of chemistry! Chemistry is the igniter, the catalyst for the relationship. Before you marry you have to feel that bond. Without it, your marriage will be miserable.
The most powerful signals in chemistry are operating through unconscious ways, pheromones, hormones ,it all shapes our feelings towards our partner. You have to know how you click in bed!
Ex.If one spouse wants sex a few times a week, and the other spouse rarely wants sex, then even if they both enjoy the same kind of sexual activities, the difference in their frequency desire can lead to lifelong conflicts. You probably won’t want to live the majority of your life wondering: What if? You probably won’t want to live the majority of your life missing out on not having comparative experiences. But if you choose that path, good luck.
How many couples do you know that complain that they are not getting enough? Google it up, it's a very common problem.
Hi, I personaly believe that if couples love each other they would have a perfect frequency and joy in sexual relationship... that is why first love then sex! There are so many wonderful feelings besides sex... ! ... and if there is no sincer feelings none of your perfect sexes whould save the relationship.
imagine, you had sex with a person and you loved it enough so that you got married, then unfortunately he became ill or something, not able to have it.... whould you leave him? what about you had such problem and he leaves you?
Pleasures to self an and others by ignoring the integrity and importance of your own mind, body, reproductive organs, and actions are cause of many problems in the society, including sexual affairs. Encouraging society to go out and explore for more pleasure to find out what we want is feeding more of endless desire to society. Human mind has endless imagination to serve themselves pleasures, and eventually end up in a more violence act.
I can for sure say you're attractive and perhaps great to be with. But taking this lightly will also tells me that relationships are taken lightly relative to what I've seen around the world also.
Firstly,i wud confess that i am not that kind. but in my opinion, it should be encouraged. 16% marriages are divorced just because of bad sex life. this has some commonly known bad effects on the couple and their children (if any). and sex before marriage, in my view, could strengthen the relationship.
Contraception is exceedingly (though obviously not 100% affective) in preventing pregnancy and if using condoms STIs. Now that is assuming people use them correctly. When people don't use contraception accurately that is when there is a large drop in affectivness. People are more likly to use contraception correctly if thy are better educated about it.
Thank you very much for your opinion, but lets compare 16% of diverced marriages with the rate of teen pregnancy, abortion and diseases such as HIV and Hepatitis? Do you think people have sex before marriage just because they want to test whether he or she would be a good husband/wife? I do not think so.
While it is true that premarital sex can lead to those things, it is most specifically true that unsafe sex leads to them. While I do not think we should encourage teens to have sex all the time, in a society that is more open to talking about sex, especially premarital sex I think those things would go down. If teens are taught to make smart choices they would be more likely to use protection, have sex with people they trust and feel like they could ask for advise. If you say that people should never have premarital sex then you are taking away all that knowledge that young people should have, and those situations you described are more likely to occur.
Justahuman, please, if you are really interested in this issue have some time to read this article. There are some statistics and facts that might change your mind. Becuse just your success in "not accuring such problems" does not mean that world is safe as well... risk is growing!
I do support your sollution which is "protected sex". but the issue is not only the diseases and abortion.... but there is another matter: morality and pure minded generation. encouragement of premarital sex gives too much freedom which had caused different sexual crimes and vulgar behaviour of people.
I believe though that its possible to allow premertial sex, while still not making it a casual thing. If people are taught to respect sex and themselves then how does that cause vulgar behavior. Also can you site anything that suggests that tolerance of premerital sex leads to sex crimes?
I take the view that nowadays it can be. It is norm with our life style. I am religion people, but even I can say that it is not scary. It is my view that it is also sin, but we live in the modern world, and it has become the norm for us.