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Debate Info

38
30
Yes, spare the rod spoil.... No, spanking is abuse!
Debate Score:68
Arguments:70
Total Votes:69
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Argument Ratio

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 Yes, spare the rod spoil.... (25)
 
 No, spanking is abuse! (23)

Debate Creator

IHateObummer(217) pic



To Spank or not to Spank?

This has been a hot topic for many years.. While there are no laws saying we can not spank our child, it is becomming more more seen as abuse. I will remain neutrul as much as I can, since I have experienced both approaches and I can see how different things work for different kids.. 

Yes, spare the rod spoil....

Side Score: 38
VS.

No, spanking is abuse!

Side Score: 30

I have found that a light spanking works wonders on the wife ;)

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....

Sexy. ;)

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....

I bet, do you use a riding crop or you hand joe?

..... ..... .... .... .... .....

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....

My hand. Sometimes my fingers slip, though ;)

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
3 points

Sure! I'm spankin' it right now

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....

I believe that spanking is a useful and necessary tool in raising children, and that when delivered properly does not constitute abuse.

The goal is not to inflict pain and cause fear, the goal is to inflict discomfort and discourage the activity. Spanking should be performed calmly, not out of anger. The punishment should be explained to the child before it is delivered. Spanking should not be performed with anything other than an open palm, and only on clothed skin with a restrained amount of force. You can gauge the amount of force on yourself- give an open handed slap to your own thigh. The correct amount of force will cause discomfort, but without any lingering stinging sensation in either your hand or thigh.

A spanking performed in this matter gets the message across without engendering fear in the child. I spank my son thusly in two scenarios. 1) As punishment and a deterrent for activity that places himself or others in danger, and 2) As an escalation if he is refusing to comply with a lesser punishment.

More forceful punishment doesn't help anybody out; the object is to associate discomfort with the undesired activity in the childs mind. Using excessive force skips over that association and instead associaties the parent the pain and fear in the childs mind. It is an easy line to cross, and is one of the main reasons that discipline should never be avoided while angered if at all possible.

If you're striking bare skin, if you're using a closed fist, if you're using another object, if you're causing lingering pain or leaving any marks (even just a temporary reddening of the skin), you are going beyond spanking and are beating your child- that is abuse, and is unlikely to get you any result other than your child fearing you and learning to not get caught rather than learning to not take the undesired action.

I'm of the mind that yelling at your child is more abusive and traumatic than a properly delivered spanking, but I also acknoweldge that most parents who spank go quite overboard with it, to the detriment of all involved.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
Atrag(5551) Disputed
1 point

I have worked with children for a number of years and I always find it difficult to imagine how 'cool-headed' spanking works. I have only ever seen it done in anger and I guess due to this experience it makes me question how sincere you are being with yourself when you say that you don't do it in anger.

To me all punishments should have an explanation before them. This is very easy with punishments such as times out and loss of privileges. I presume that it is impossible with spanking. It leads way to children feeling unfairly treated.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
thousandin1(1931) Clarified
2 points

I have only ever seen it done in anger and I guess due to this experience it makes me question how sincere you are being with yourself when you say that you don't do it in anger.

It was the result of my initial attempts to discipline my son without using spanking or yelling at him. I always felt that the point of punishment was not vengeance, and also noted that punishment delivered while angry often (if not always) completely missed the point of discipline in that it distracted from the action in question rather than reinforced the desired behavior, and was often objectively disproportional to the actual offense committed when reflected on later. Ever since that realization, I made it a point to calm down when angered before carrying out any kind of punishment. Maybe it's not fair to say that I'm never at all angry when I punish my son, but when I am the anger has always cooled and I am always calm when it is delivered.

To me all punishments should have an explanation before them. This is very easy with punishments such as times out and loss of privileges. I presume that it is impossible with spanking. It leads way to children feeling unfairly treated.

I agree here, but it is not impossible with spankings. I calmly tell Conner "Because of X, I will now have to give you a spanking." or something to that effect, carry out the punishment (which as noted previously, usually is not a spanking), then ask him what he did wrong and if he understood why it was wrong.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
HarvardGrad(174) Clarified
1 point

Ehh, somewhat agreed upon.

The punishment should be explained to the child before it is delivered.

The explanation before a 'physical' punishment often times is ignored due to the impending stimulus being in juxtaposition with such. And that being so does nothing for the child's rationalization and/or realization of what it did wrong. And an explanation after is, of course, missed due to high levels of negative emotionality.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
2 points

Don't both of these positions assume the negative stance on spanking. I'm in support of it either way, and also spanking is illegal (at least here in the states) it's on the same wavelength as abusing your wife or pet, and you can go to jail for it, or be removed from the child's life. It's just kind of like jaywalking though. So insignificant that no one really upholds it or thinks twice.

Back to the topic at hand though, I support spankings. Physical discipline if done right, is very direct, and very quick to get a point across. Don't fight in school, thwap. Don't curse thwip. Don't plot world domination sting. Eventually you start learning what's right and what's wrong, at least by the standards of the one delivering the spanking.

Speaking specifically of myself, I got spankings as a child, and they taught me not to do the things that got me spankings. They also made me fear the repercussions after doing what I knew I wasn't supposed to do. Eventually I avoided doing those things all together.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
IHateObummer(217) Clarified
1 point

Each state has different laws regarding what is abuse and want isn't. This can be a fine line, anytime a child is left with marks of any kind, or even words and be abuse, we are not here to discuss the different forms of abuse. A swat on the rear end with a open hand. I should have made it more clear. Now I will post a link to different laws in each state. Spanking is not illegal!

Supporting Evidence: State by state laws (kidjacked.com)
Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
2 points

It was stated that it is not against the law to spank a child. I heard that a child could turn their parents in to the police for being spanked. I hope that is not true. It's the Democrat party trying to equate spanking with abuse. It's quite ironic that the party of Late term Abortions for any reason would dare mention spanking being a form of abuse. Can we all spell hypocrisy?

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

I don't think there's anything wrong with a light tap on the butt.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

I don't have a problem with spanking. You have to pay attention to what works best for different kids though. Spanking simply doesn't work for some kids, while another punishment would work, such as taking away privileges. AGHHHH!

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

Although there are many ways to discipline a child, I consider spanking an effective way of doing so. Sometimes words are not enough to get through a child's mind and therefore a more physical approach is required. Of course, spanking should be done in such a way that it doesn't inflict any serious damage on a child. Some light-handed spanking is enough to punish a child. This will make sure that they remember not to repeat their mistake or else they will be spanked again. I wouldn't call spanking 'abuse' since it is used to teach a lesson rather than to maliciously injure the child.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

since it is used to teach a lesson rather than to maliciously injure the child

So what if I take a guy out of car and punch him to teach him a lesson as to driving badly? Should that be legal? No, of course not, that's actual assault. Whether it's your intent or not, you're harming the child. How can you tell? They cry. Have you heard a kid cry? Personally, it melts my heart.

Also, why is it only okay for you to hit your kid between certain ages? I can hit a 6-year-old, but not a 6-month old or a 16-year-old. Why? Don't say it's because they don't understand, because that's a ridiculous argument for essentially abuse.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
4 points

I think you can have well behaved children without spanking them. But, I don't think it is abuse.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
2 points

Not an expert on this, but from what I understand, using positive reinforcement is generally more effective than negative. Establishing a reward system for good behavior and whatnot as opposed to punishing negative. And we don't really need to be teaching our children that violence is the way to solve problems.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
heavydebater(24) Disputed
1 point

I was spanked as a child for wrongdoing and due to that I soon learnt that if I did something wrong I would get another spanking. Spanking as a form of punishment for something a child has done wrong, as long as it is within reason, is not violence for the sake of it. The problem I see with the argument for no spanking is that the children soon learn that if there is no serious repercussion for what they do, they can just run riot and know that there is nothing major a parent (or a school teacher) can do. I have heard it from childrens mouths where they say "I might get an evening's detention... Big deal"

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
MuckaMcCaw(1968) Disputed
1 point

And how long will it be before they learn "it will hurt for about a second and then be over...Big deal"?

Side: No, spanking is abuse!

No parent has a right to their child's body. No parent has the right to make their child feel unsafe. It is assault to spank a child. It is wrong to hit someone out of anger.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
DrawFour(2662) Clarified
2 points

This is ironic to me because of your views on child abuse coupled with your views on abortion. The irony is that pro life people believe that a mother does not have the right to kill the child living inside of her.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
Atrag(5551) Disputed
1 point

. It is assault to spank a child

Without the reasonable chastisement defence, any touching of a child is an assault. Are you saying that no adult should ever put hands on a child in order to punish them? No naughty steps etc?

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

No one has the right to another person's body. Its wrong to assault people just because you can't get your way. Children are not property.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
IHateObummer(217) Clarified
1 point

I agree that we should never hit out of anger, but a swat to a child who runs out in traffic may be the only thing that will show them that they will get hurt if they do it again.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

It's a primitive method of discipline and is mostly used by people who don't have enough money to reward their kids with cool stuff for good behavior. So basically, it's for dumb and/or lazy parents.

It also indirectly teaches your kids to resort to violence as a means to fix a problem.

If it's not physical abuse, it's still mental abuse, because it's similar to torturing someone to get what you want, but on a smaller scale.

Torture always causes some sort of psychological damage.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
2 points

Two years ago, my son was pushed down at school, I have always told my boys to stick up for your self because we can't depend on someone else to. So my son stood up and punch this kid and knocked his tooth out.. ( the tooth was already lose and was gonna come out anyways) I get a call from the school telling me that both boys were gonna have to do detention?! I was like um didn't this other boy start it and push my kid? The answer was yes. So I ask what would you have had my son do instead of defending him self?

We'll he said " he should have told a teacher.

I said "Sir" my son has told about the bullying many many times as I have as we'll. nothing was done about it. If anything he was treated worse. I told my son that if this kid bothered him ever again that he should punch him. So I will be picking my child up after school today. And it you have any problems with that then we can talk about it, but if I was you I would let this go. Because out of 4 times I have contacted you concerning my son and this other boy about being bullied, you answer was we will speak to the parents. . But nothing stopped or changed. And I didn't spank my son to teach him anything. I used time outs and a spoon full of room temp vinegar. If that didn't work I would take away something. But we are POOR and since poor people are lazy I am guessing you assumed my son punched that kid because I was lazy and broke so I spanked him at home, and this was his way of learning to deal with spoiled rich kids who never have to own up to anything.

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
ProLogos(2794) Disputed
1 point

You're a bad parent.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!
Coldfire(1014) Clarified
1 point

I agree with you that it teaches kids that violence is a justifiable means to resolve a dispute.

I just wanted to point out that you dont need a lot of money to use the reward method

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
ProLogos(2794) Clarified
1 point

Of course not. :D

But I did type "poor", not "you need much moolah"

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
1 point

Lazy-poor-abuse- what other words do you have to describe the so called poor people who are lazy and spank there kids because they don't want to deal with a different approach?! As you sit there do you honesty think that people that spank there kids are more times poor and lazy?

Side: Yes, spare the rod spoil....
ProLogos(2794) Disputed
0 points

You forgot dumb.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!

Spanking scars a child well into adulthood. Parents should never spank a child.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!

I do think spanking is abuse because look at it this way: in the United States, you will be charged with assault if you hit an adult on the street, even if it's someone you know. However, if it's a child and it's your child, you can hit it any time it does something you don't like. What kind of sense does that make?

My second point is related to the definition of child abuse: physical maltreatment or sexual molestation of a child.

Maltreatment is defined as cruel or violent treatment of a person or animal. I would call hitting your child violent.

Side: No, spanking is abuse!