What Kind Of Person Are You When You Are Angry?
Many people, when they are angered, let out a howl the entire neighborhood can hear because they believe all is fair in love and war. They don't care what they say when angry and look at you as the person who made them that way! This gives them the excuse to roll out every incident that ever happened over the last 10 years and repeat, word for word, what they told you then! Some people, when they are angered, take a different approach. They are silent for a while and really think about what has just occurred. Then they return to the other person and own their piece of the pie and argument. Which one are you? And if you're someone who handles things differently than described here, tell us about it. Arguing is an art...do you know how to argue successfully?
|
I used to be a saint, but of late I pop off more easily. When I'm mad I'm like a pit bull or the cartoon guy with fire coming out his ears, but it's short lived.I'm working on living in the moment and letting each moment pass - that way I can look forward to the next moment. It helps me stay cool. 1
point
I've never been a saint but it's coming with age! I'm more apt to defend myself less on lesser issues than I used to be but I don't mind calling people out when I feel I should. Living in the moment takes concentration, focus, a forgiving nature and drugs! I have that...LOL!!! When I get angry the first thing I do is look at the whether or not my anger is justified. When my anger is caused by someone else's selfishness or something like that -- I'll use it. I'll ride it like a wave in order to rectify whatever it is that is making me angry. Anger can be a good tool. If I think my anger is unjustified -- that it's coming from jealousy or arrogance or something like that, I might express it or I might let it go, but I won't lash out. Side: Depends on whether I'm right
1
point
Another good way to be...Bravo Jess! Of course I only say that because I think I'm like that too...LOL! For me, it really depends on how the person strikes me. If they've hit below the belt for no reason I'll follow them to the ends of the earth to either expose them or discover why they've done such a thing. Pushing my buttons is normally a difficult thing to do unless you know me but it can be another awakening for me. We never see ourselves as others do so it pays to take a peek inside and then do what you must, whether it's to take an action or not. Side: Depends on whether I'm right
3
points
OK...Here's my M.O.! I am absolutely NOT a kitchen sinker! I loathe those who argue that way. I bring it back to topic whenever anyone veers from the course. I haven't had a true argument in years because I've learned the art of argument. Thank God!!!! Can we talk? The answer is usually yes. We sit down and get comfortable and I smile at the person...sometimes they even smile back! If it was me that had my knickers in a twist I begin by talking a bit about myself and my past. That brings me to the buttons. I tell the person that I still have a problem in that area and I'm working on it. In other words, I OWN IT! When one does that it opens the lines of communication and usually the other person tells me about their buttons and how they grew to be so sensitive. I understand and say so. I apologize for not having the wits about me I should have and they usually do the same! Now, what was the argument? 95 times out of 100 it was a misunderstanding or how something was taken so personally that it really set them off. We agree not to do this to one another again and it works! YES!!!! IT WORKS, and it works both ways. I am at my angriest if you hurt me in some way. I need time to think and filter things through before I can get right with all of it. It's hard to say to someone that they've hurt you. You run the risk of them saying...well, get over it. Bingo, new resentment! No, no. Diffuse right then and there by asking if they bared their soul to someone and that person acted as though they didn't care, would that be good or satisfactory to them? 99% of the time the answer is a great big NO...but now they're on the defensive. Diffuse further and get into the attitude you've just witnessed. Tell them you know what that feels like. Be kind and you've made a friend for life. No judgments, no BS. Life is painful at times and people can multiply that times 100 if you allow it. Isn't it better to agree to disagree on some things than take a grudge to your grave and add to the pain of your life? Try it....it really does work! ...and thanks for listening, you bunch of shit-cakes! JOKING!!!! Side: Depends on whether I'm right
i try to avoid confrontation as much as possible cause it usually just escalates into more anger. i realize that 99% of the things we get angry over are not important, and the other 1% we will most likely have to act on no matter what. i use to argue over everything, but now i keep my comments to myself unless someone actually asks me a question (which they usually do, since i seem to be the person to go to when they need answers: history, politics, movies, music, etc.). Side: don't worry about things
1
point
That's a pretty darned good way to be pyggy! I love confrontation but I don't look at that as a negative, which most people do. I like to get things out on the table so everyone knows what they're dealing with. I've found that so many times in life there has been a misunderstanding rather than a true slight or problem. Like you, I am also the 'answer' person. It's most gratifying when people come to ask advice or my opinion on whatever it may be. Side: don't worry about things
2
points
1
point
If I'm just a little angry, I'm loud, obnoxious, cynical, sarcastic, and highly vocal about the problem(s). If I'm REALLY pissed off, I'm quite and glare evilly at everyone and everything. Me not saying anything is an indication that I'm pretty certain anything that slips past my lips is going to be really bad. A matter of "I've got something really not-nice to say, so I'm saying nothing at all." Side: Cynical and sarcastic
2
points
im really nice when im angry i dont yell dont shout dont get 'agro' i just discuss the issues i have with the other person i dont abuse, call names, do anything mean or stupid i dont throw things around or at them my boyf likes it cause he doesnt get in trouble... i just try to make the other person think like i do, make them see what they've done wrong, that way they fix it and we dont fight if im wrong i dont feel like a dickhead cause i blew everything out of proportion and was yelling and screaming for no reason. this way our home is happy, fun, and doesnt have big yelling matches, it'd be unfair on everyone else living where we do it also means we have a great relationship which gets stronger everytime we have one of these discussions and its not one of those giant fights dont talk to each other for a few days, have sex then we'll be fine for another week neither of us want that kind of relationship and its better for both of our health not to be its usually pretty funny as well, we laugh an joke about whatever the problem is but we sort through our issues and we have a good time doing it and we are stronger as a couple for it i generally dont get pissed at anyone else and besides im too lazy to be any other way Side: really nice angry person
2
points
I've always maintained communication is key to all relationships. Good for you Chicken! Yelling and screaming only makes it worse and then the offensive/defensive behavior begins. You lose sight of the real problem and just go for the jugular....not a good way to resolve things, is it?!? Side: really nice angry person
0
points
1
point
|
