Why are men afraid of commitment?
My random thought/question of the day.....
Men and women have the same reproductive goal (producing as many surviving children as possible) but different ways of achieving that goal. For the males of our very early ancestors, their strategy is to mate with as many females as possible and hope that a few of the offspring survive. Time and energy wise, they invest very little in each fertilization thus their stakes are lower and it makes more sense to them to move onto the next mating opportunity. For females, the converse is true; each egg comes with a very high time and energy price tag if she wants to get a surviving baby out of it. Thus, her best bet for ensuring the survival of her children is by committing to one strong, healthy male and enlisting his help in raising a child he can be sure is his. It is in her best interest to limit her partners as much as she can, so paternity is not in doubt. Now obviously we have progressed a long way from being ruled 100% by the goals of procreation. Because of the fragility and long dependency period of human infants, men are far more predisposed than our simian cousins to commit to one partner for an extended period of time. However, reproduction and sex have shaped much of human behaviour, whether we realize it or not. Instincts that, in the past, have been successful, do not disappear so readily. For early men, commitment meant fewer partners, and fewer partners means fewer offspring, and even though that is not a conscious thought process, the behaviour of modern men has been sculpted by the behaviour of our ancestors. So while I think absolute statements are usually false, I think it is safe to say it is often true that men, especially young men, are less willing to commit than women or more mature men. What is ironic is the alternative. In species without a cohesive male-female pair bond, we often see harem behaviour; one powerful male defending a group of females. If humans have evolved to retain this behaviour, the very same young males with an aversion to commitment would probably be shit out of luck because the rich men would already have all the women. And there is a very long answer to very short question. 2
points
2
points
1
point
One possibility is that you spend your adolescence and early adult life committing to relationships that always end in heartbreak because the women are capricious in their feelings of love and affection. This makes the man very hesitant to commit in future relationships because they must become matters of probability rather than leaps of faith like the earlier ones. Side: Whimsical Women
1
point
1
point
yes, men seem to naturally sway away from commitment in their youth, but that has only been amplified by how women over the years have become more independent and assertive, they don't want a bitch for a wife, not saying being strong is wrong, but you will be labeled as a bitch because of it..... one thing i do have to say is, every good, sweet, nice pretty girl will never have a tough time finding Mr. Right If you date a bad boy!!!!!! you will be treated like a toy!!!!!!!!!! I'm 23 and the girls who i know from high school who are still single and complain they cannot find Mr right, its because you were the slut in high school and your used up. sorry lady's to be sexist and it is a double standard but if you are a freak and everyone knows it......Mr right doesn't want you... he wants the sweet girl and he wants to corrupt her!!!!! sorry hella off topic. Side: not all males are afarid
Check this girl Sky at my school. She looks off the chain has the perfect ass, nice face, and a great body. Hooks up with 6 guys prom night. She's going to be another girl trying to find Mr. Right, when everyone is only going to look for sex out of her. Side: not all males are afarid
1
point
good for you, i hate to be an asshole and say that a girl today cannot have fun. but a friend who is about 4 or five year older than me once said that the older you get, the good ones get harder and harder to find!!!!!!!!!!! they get married, move on to college or a job and so on and all that is left its the used up sluts and assholes!!! my whole point is a good girl wont have a hard time to mr right!!! congrats on the mr. right Side: not all males are afarid
Well to quote Old School Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here. Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not? Side: Old School
|