From the look of your case, you are clearly biased. Women already take responsibility for many things and are just as responsible as men in most cases. However, because women are still unconsciously treated as inferiors by men, they can be subject to condescending sympathy when they make mistakes. In spite of this, many women are brave enough to admit that they did something wrong. If you only see women as irresponsible brats, you are clearly spending time around bad examples of the female gender.

I disagree. Men have abdicated their divine authority over their children and their wives, as well as leadership in culture. We are still going to be held responsible in the end... No matter what the law and the world says, it is still you being judged.

What needs to happen is men need to step up and stop giving up control.

I'm completely sympathetic towards the males that are disenfranchised by the bad joke that passes for paternal rights in most of the US.

It's certainly an unfair situation when the ultimate decision regarding the fate of a potential child is in the hands of the mother, with no input whatsoever from the father; there is no denying that much of it.

But the problem lies in the fact that there is no way to handle this equally. Barring a thought exercise that I'm tentatively calling 'schrodingers womb,' the same fetus cannot be successfully aborted and brought to term. Given that there are only two parties involved, if they disagree it is a deadlock. Deciding this in the mans favor- in either scenario- involves subjecting the women to something extremely invasive; either the physical and emotional trauma involved in having an unwanted abortion, or all of the physiological, mental, and emotional stuff associated with carrying an unwanted child to term. Deciding this in the woman's favor- again, in either scenario- does not involve an invasion anywhere near the level of what the woman would go through.

In other words, if things were 'equal' in this regard, it would in fact be oppressive towards women. This is an unfortunate effect of the differences between the sexes, and it's not an ideal situation for either party in general.

And really, only one of the scenarios is particularly bad for the man- having to provide ongoing lifelong support to an unwanted child. In the case where the man wants to keep the child, well... there are plenty of women out there who want to be mothers; doesn't it make more sense to break things off with a woman who strongly disagrees with you on such a key issue in a romantic relationship? The only exception I could see to this would be if the man had an extremely low sperm count and thought himself to be sterile; in that case, I believe the mans position warrants further consideration.

Ultimately, this is the kind of situation that should simply be prevented from arising. The way I see it, birth control is the responsibility of anybody and everybody who does not currently want a child- don't just trust your partner for it. It is important to remember that there are men out there who will attempt to get women pregnant on purpose- some out of a misguided attempt to cement a relationship, some out of a more sinister mind using it to control the women, and some simply due to having fetishized conception. It is important to remember that there are women out there who will attempt to get pregnant on purpose for largely the same range of reasons. It is also important to remember that people change, constantly, and that includes ones stance on parenthood- don't just take it for granted that he still doesn't want kids ever because he said so when you met 5 years ago.

If men and women alike were open and up front about their desires regarding parenthood (really, that seems like a big life topic that should be hit on somewhere in the first couple dates anyway), situations where one partner wants children and the other does not could be reduced significantly- leaving the liars and wafflers. If everyone who did not wish to have children - irrespective of gender- took personal responsibility for contraception, the effect of the liars and wafflers could be minimized as well.

Maybe it seems like I'm "victim-blaming" a little bit. In this case, I am, and am not afraid to admit it. While none of this applies to people who have actually been victimized, the overwhelming majority of these cases involve consensual sex between two partners who are aware that there is some kind of a link between this sex thing and babies.

I'll say it again- whether you are a man or a woman, if you do not want children, contraception is YOUR responsibility- not just making sure it's used, but making sure it's used properly. But as I said before I went off on this huge tangient, I can't really get behind the idea of this debate, because there is simply no way to actually do it equally.