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Um, you're judging a situation you know absolutely nothing about. We're better off than most older couples that I know of. And if you read that I'm NOT thinking about actually doing it. I know I'm too young and I have other priorities.
But if he proposed now I wouldn't hesitate to say yes, don't make it sound like it's not possible. Not every young couple rushes into this, and we've been together long enough anyway.
And by the ways, learn the difference between "your" and "you're".
"Um, you're judging a situation you know absolutely nothing about."
UM, YOU'RE absolutely right but i still have a point(and you know it), people change, of course i know nothing about YOUR current situation but i do know that it will change drastically over the course of YOUR life. People can drift apart, things can happen that are outside YOUR control.
Anyway, thats not the way i meant it, i only said it cause i feel that there are lots of places to see and experiences to be had in this life(and we only get one), and it sounds to me that you be happy to settle down now and never have any of them. I'm not judging you, or YOUR situation, i merely saying i in no way can relate to that kind of thinking.
BT Waaaaaaaay's im sorry you felt the need to point out that grammatical error, i do actually know the difference.
I've already been around the world... I know what's out there and I happen to like it here. My grandparents are very kind people who saved up to give us a trip.
And people assume you can't have experiences while married, what's stopping a couple from doing them together? And I know people change, but so do people in mid-life. They just don't walk away because they have more responsibility than a younger couple. There's actually no difference.
If you know the right words then use them, otherwise you make yourself seem unintelligent.
"I've already been around the world... I know what's out there and I happen to like it here. My grandparents are very kind people who saved up to give us a trip."
Sorry i have to disagree with this, ive been to many different countries aswell, in fact ive done more travelling then most but i can openly acknowledge that i haven't even scratched the surface.
"And people assume you can't have experiences while married"
I'm well aware of that, my parents took me all over the world when i was younger, but it was much harder, much much much harder. Thats why they had children when they were in their 30s after being together for about 15 years. I get the impression you can't wait to settle down(maybe im wrong). Not that theres anything wronf with that, hey if it makes you happy go for it, i just can't relate to it.
"And I know people change, but so do people in mid-life."
Yes thats true but the most dramatic change in people usually occurs through the ages 16 to roughly 30 i.e. from the beginning of adulthood to the onset of midlife. This is period when you formulate the opinions and beliefs you hold, its when the personality you will have for the rest of your life is developed, therefore the potential for change is much higher.
"There's actually no difference"
There is a big difference, im sorry i have to disagree, when you're young you're more attracted to adventure and discovery. Young people don't make pragmatic decisions, they are largely impulsive, and this leads to very big difference in their perceived priorities.
Let me re-phrase it. I've seen what I want to. I have no more wants to travel, as I've already been where I've dreamed of.
Getting married and having children are different. I imagine trying to take your child with you would cause many more problems. And I'm okay with wherever the world takes me. If I stay here I'll be happy, if I get a chance to travel more I'll be happy.
LOL, my boyfriend and I are both very vocal about our beliefs. The way we were brought up we had to grow up fast, both for different reasons but with similar outcomes. The only thing that I assume will change is the information we receive.
Lucky for us, we're not impulsive. If we were we probably would have already had a child and been married to be honest. Like I said, we've been together for awhile, and we aren't rushing into anything. We have talked for large amounts of time about plans, there's no sense in rushing them...
I think we agree that we're too young, but disagree that it would be a good or bad idea. Which is to be expected since you aren't here to see the whole story.
I don't think everyone needs to travel to discover themselves... Some people find all the happiness in the world in the very town they were born and raised. It all depends on the person I suppose.
"Thats sounds to be like a highly erroneous assumption to me."
Perhaps, but he is older than me, and as I said, we both grew up fast. And I don't like to change my mind once I've come to my conclusions... That may sound even more like something someone in my position would say but who really knows.
Men can be impulsive, but he has no say in whether I will have a child or not, I am in charge of the birth control. And if he impulsively asks me to marry him I've already said I will say yes.
What did you misinterpret I wonder?
Statistically... They're just numbers. I don't see the point in dwelling on them. If it doesn't work out I will join that high count of young love gone bad, but if it does I can be grateful for what I've been given.
XD I can see that. You need to see everything you can in the short time we have, I totally understand that. I've seen what I want, I want to go back to the places I'v been with my children one day to be honest. Show them the beauty I found... But for myself, I'm very happy with how I've lived so far and plan to continue.
First is Italy, I was in Rome a majority of my stay and loved it. But Pompeii absolutely captivated me, the history there is nearly tangible in the air.
In Spain though, one of my cousins found an inland beach. I climbed the cliffs above it and thought how odd it looked to see a beach in the middle of it all. I couldn't tell you exactly where though I'm afraid...
Ive wanted to go to Italy for a while, Spain doesnt really do for me as it has largely been corrupted due to the influx of tourism particularly Britain and Ireland, although you seem to have found a nice spot.
Just one question, have you ever been to non Western country? I know people on this site give me a hard time for hating the West, beleive me i don't hate the West, i do however think the culture has degraded slightly, and i suppose i am quite biased due to my hatred of western imperialism.
Where was it and for how(i dont mean to pry). Its just i have done a fair bit of travelling in europe ive been to new york and miami (but never anywhere else in the US). I have done alot of travelling in south american & asia, and i can tell you right now that the experience is very different to any Western country. It leaves an impression on you, the different lifestyle and beleif system, i know it doesnt sound like it but when you see it you it and live it you appreciate it so much more, the flaws in our own culture become so apparent.
"And I think part of your reasoning has to do with the fascination of foreign land"
I will concede that maybe a small part of the reasoning is based on fasciation but theres alot more to it than that. I was brought to vietnamn when i was 10, i never forgot it (in fact in return last summer). Western culture is lacking many things, and im not saying that any of the cultures ive experienced are perfect but they can put things in perspective. They can definitely change your opinion of life and what you want from it (in my humble opinion), or at the very least give you an enhanced understanding and the best way to proceed with your life.
"That may sound even more like something someone in my position would say"
Yes it does and its precisely the reason you may be left dumbfounded when something compltely unexpected changes in your life as you get older, you may think you have no more growing up to do but beleive me you do. Im 22 and i am in no way close to being grown up, and i know age is just a number but it still matters.
"him I've already said I will say yes"
This is the reason i decded to butt in with my noisy opinion, it just seems ridiculous to me but then again im not you.
"Statistically... They're just numbers"
Numbers don't lie, the probablilty of you breaking up at some stage is much higher due to how young you are.
"I don't see the point in dwelling on them"
You're right you shouldn't but you should still be a=very aware of them before you make any rash decisions i.e. marriage and children. Peace out.