Leftist logic. If I make fun of Trump, you'll forget that the Democrats locked down the country, created mass inflation, skyrocketed gas prices and can't get food on the shelves.

Aww.. I thought we was buds...

He probably is your bud seeing he told you the truth rather than what you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear things like "you being stupid is cute", but it wasn't cute, so he told you the truth about you being an uneducated hillbilly type. I hear dueling banjos every time you type.

Is the post office a liberal plot?

It's an obsolete entity that does things inferior to other entities such as Fed-ex. The progressive thing to do is move on and let the post office die.

you see, us Jews have been hated for centuries, by grannies and by teenagers. But - (insert random self-congratulatory phrase here).

Dear friend, I plead with you not to say blasphemous things. You are no Jew. You are of the synagogue of Satan.

If evolution works then how do you explain Trump supporters?

They will be alive in the country. You will be dead in the city. That my dearest friend is how evolution works.

You could become a leftists and not only work for Uncle Sam, but have him provide you healthcare as well.

When you call the fire department, should they get into their trucks, or check with billing??

By this argument's logic, our hospitals are already socialist, so we don't need to change healthcare via your own logic.

They didn't contribute a dime towards it.

Capitalists contributed to it via taxes.

Yet, the government does it anyway..

Nancy Pelosi won't be coming to your house if it's on fire. Volunteers and people paid by Capitalists will.

I'm pretty sure that's socialism

The fire department is funded by taxes taken from Capitalists. With Socialism, there are no Capitalists or private property, so the government would have to fund the fire department via companies it itself owned and ran itself, for it to be Socialism.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/socialism

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/04/26/health/energy-drinks-health-concerns-explainer/ index.html