You do not lose your moral identity by at least thinking of the consequences, you don't simply jump off a clif because you want to jump off something? You think 'well if I jump off this cliff I will probably die, so I won't jump off it' to not think of the consequences of your actions and choices is absurd. You do not loose your autonomy when following untilitarianism, you loose it following Kantian ethics by following those absolute moral laws. It is better to allow the external world to PARTLY decided what is right and wrong because you live in that very world and it will help you to adapt.

I feel kantain ethics is not a better guide to moral behaviour than utilitarianism because it is irrational to not think of the consequences of an action and deem it moral, even if many people are hurt.