I've learned so much about this honestly,from my own experience & other people's. I've been the family martyr since I was young . I was abused by my parents, between them, in every possible way, but I was brought up (confusingly) very religiously ! I thought it was what God wanted you to do, to be nice , to be a good & kind person. Well that's not true . People want you to be a "nice" person, because a nice person...does what everyone else wants ! I know & have known a lot of people who gave up careers, dreams etc to look after a parent. It's always the "nice" one in the family who takes the most responsibility. And in my experience, that's the one with the least confidence (the one who's been bullied & criticised the most, and made to feel they have to "be nice" because by then that person feels that inherently ,they're NOT ! This person feels a NEED to be nice & thinks deeply in their psyche by then, especially if religious beliefs are involved in creating their personallity , That they SHOULD .

Everyone I know or have known who did this, ended up very bitter, and very often, with a SEVERE ILLNESS ! I had a cancer scare ! But I know different Now ! I really need to share it.

It's an " energetic thing ". Negativity Gets You Down ! !.......LOVE IS FREE ! ! This is how you really love each other . They had this same stupid idea ! ! WE're all so"Co-Dependent" Thinking everyone is responsible for each other is what CAUSES the ME-ME-ME THING ! ....IN ALL OF US ! ! Physical illness is a manifestation of Guilty, Angry, Needy thoughts . We are love, We give love because we are love ...When it feels easy, I think love is actually a very EASY thing really ! ! No obligiago ! ! God (or whatever you want to call that) Is LOVE, LOVE IS FREE (not to be confused with the "term" "Free Love" :) I'm not sure about that ! :) But I think love and repect, loyalty and all those things , should never be in any way forced. It's tough poo if someone's ill really, you will take that negativity on , in one form or another, if you don't stay free inside. Let the buggers get on with it unless you feel like it ! It's all about Self-Love , first .