I find myself asking this exact question of myself. The back story is that I once knew this girl, it felt like we were made for each other, we saw each other every weekend (for we didn't live close together) We had everything in common, tastes, lifestyle the lot. Then disaster struck and we lost touch, my life was changed (through no fault/choice of my own)

I never once stopped looking for her or thinking about her, thirteen years passed and I was still trying to find her. In this time I had tried to get along with life, despite always feeling that some important part of me was missing, I got married, mainly because the girl I was with wanted to and I wanted to make her as happy as I could. By this time I was sure that I'd never find the girl I had lost (though I was still quietly looking). Following my wife's life plan we were trying for a child (nothing has been spontaneous in our relationship) When out of the blue I found her, thirteen years of looking and I found her.

It turns out that she had an almost identical story to my own, that she had been looking for me too, that her feelings were still there as well and unfortunately that she too had settled for someone else in the passing years and now had three children of her own.

This isn't a case of finding someone new and declaring them the love of your life, that I would disagree with, however finding the real love of your life, the one person you have been yearning for for thirteen years is very different. So I would have to agree that this is something that can be done, for if you don't you will never ever be happy again, knowing that she is there within reach and that she loves you too.

When I look at my marriage I realize that it has all been for her, the choices made have tried to mold me into someone else, I look at myself and do not recognize the person I have become. My wife has no hobbies or interests and has stopped me from doing all of mine, our life together revolves around her watching TV and me running around trying to keep her happy.

Should I resign myself to a life of misery?

I have always said that you only get one life and that since you can not take anything with you when you die you should try to make yourself happy as much as possible otherwise your life was wasted.

To summarize, I feel that you have to follow your heart, the short term may be very painful and difficult, but it will be better then settling for a full lifetime of misery